Leave Your Assumptions At The Door.

Lately, I find that people more and more often make unfounded assumptions about me.  Let's clear things up, shall we?

Don't assume that, because I am overweight, I must be miserable or hate the way I look or be on a diet or be looking for a new workout routine.  Yes, I'm overweight.  But I still like the way I look.  I don't feel the need to avoid mirrors.  I'm not miserable.  I'm not on a diet.  If I were unhappy, believe me, I would do something to change.

Don't assume that, because I am single, I must be looking for a man or that I must be miserable or that I must be lonely.  Yes, I'm single.  I have been single since September 24, 2007.  However, I'm not looking for love or a relationship.  In fact, I do not consider myself to be available or "on the market."  I have turned down a few dates with nice guys because I'm just not interested in dating.  I'm not lonely; I'm surrounded by friends and family.  I'm certainly not miserable.  Currently, I have no problem imagining myself staying single permanently.



Don't assume that, because Kaleb's father is a useless deadbeat, I must absolutely hate him or want him dead or want bad things to happen to him.  Yes, Kaleb's father is useless and a deadbeat.  But I could never hate someone who gave me such a wonderful and precious son.  I don't want him dead, because death is not something I have ever wished upon anyone.  I don't want bad things to happen to him, although they have happened anyway.  He is unemployed and out of money.  He has very little family local to this area, and has no relationship with either of his children.  To tell the truth, I pity him.

Don't assume that, because you have more children than I have or because you've given birth more times than I have, you must know more about parenting than I know.  I have one son, and he is the only child to whom I have ever given birth.  But Kaleb is certainly not the first child I have ever cared for, and he is not the first child who has ever been wholly my responsibility.  I began taking care of children half my life ago in the nursery at our church.  I have been a nanny and a foster parent to other people's children.  I am fully capable of making informed choices for my son, and I have no problem asking for advice from people I trust (my parents and close friends) when I need help deciding what to do.  And, if you make a public request for advice about your own children, don't disregard what I have to say based solely on the fact that I am a "first-time" mother.

Don't assume that, because I grew up attending church, I am a Christian or I believe in the Biblical God.  I'm not and I don't.  Growing up in church was not my choice.  As a child, it was someone else's decision that I would go to church.  Now that I'm an adult, I make my own choices.

Don't assume that, because I am not a Christian, I must not know what the Bible teaches.  I grew up in church attending Sunday school, church services, Bible studies, and every other form of educational group the church had to offer.  I went to a Christian school for middle school and had three years of very in-depth Bible classes.  I have read the Bible independently, more than once.  Just because it is not my chosen religious text, that doesn't mean I can't intelligently discuss its contents.  Many of my Christian friends can attest to this fact.

Don't assume that, because I have liberal political views, I must agree 100% with the Democratic party platform.  While I do agree with much of the Democrats' viewpoints, I cannot say I agree with everything they do or say or believe.  This is why I registered as "No Party Affiliation" when I first registered to vote.  I will soon be changing to become a registered Democrat, not because I have changed my political beliefs, but because I want to be able to vote in local primary elections.

In general, the best course of action would be not to assume anything about me without getting all the information.  I'm far from perfect, but I do my best to remember not to make unfounded assumptions about other people, and all I would ask would be for others to do the same.