One Lie Wednesday (Vol. 1)

Last night I began a new weekly feature here on my blog.  If you missed it, you can read that post by

clicking right here. 

Tonight I'll tell you which facts from last night were true and which were false.

Stay tuned next week to play again!

Two Truths Tuesday! (Vol. 1)

After deciding a while back that I'd like to work some sort of regular weekly feature into my blog, I finally hit upon the right inspiration during the first couple of weeks of school.  One of the Getting-To-Know-You games played in several of the classes I work with is called "Two Truths & A Lie."  Each participant writes down 3 facts about herself, two of which are truthful and a third which is an untruth (lie).  The players of the game take turns reading the facts they have written about themselves to the group, and then the rest of the group tries to guess which facts are truth and which are fiction.

So starting today, and for as many weeks as I can keep it up without becoming redundant, I will be playing this game with my readers!  Every Tuesday will be "Two Truths Tuesday," and I'll post all 3 of my facts.  The following day will be "One Lie Wednesday," when I will reveal which of the facts given was the untruth.  On the Tuesday post, feel free to leave your guesses about which facts you believe to be true or false.  If this feature becomes popular, I have several friends who have already agreed to donate prizes, which will be awarded to people randomly selected from those who guesses correctly about the {Truthiness} (thank you Stephen Colbert) of my posted facts!

Open Letter To A Man Named "Ross Banks"

I received a message today on Facebook.  The sender of the message, apparently, is too cowardly to allow me to reply, since when I tried to reply, I discovered that he had blocked me.  So, in this post, I have copied (unedited) his message to me and have added my reply.  In general, I wouldn't post a message in a public forum like this if it was originally meant to be a private message.  However, if you do not allow me the courtesy of a private reply, I will still reply in some manner, even if it has to be public.  If he read my blog once, perhaps he will read it again and see this.  If he doesn't, well, the rest of my readers will.

Matthew, Part VI: Do Not Assume

I can't stand how people who are completely removed from the situation -- either by geographical distance, emotional distance, or time -- assume that they know what's going on and what the motives are behind the actions of those of us who are here and in touch and involved.

So, just for the record:

Those of you who want to be mad about what you perceive as insensitivity (specifically the posting of the LINK to the website with all the links to public info on Matt's current situation) should just ask before getting so mad.  The creator of the site has made no secret of his identity, so 2 or 3 minutes of reading would have told you exactly who built the site.  You're so busy worrying about the fact that the site isn't all loaded with touchy-feely emotions and outpourings of love for Matt.  What you seem to have forgotten is that the honest details of what has happened.....well, they're not pretty.  What you don't know, is that the site is there because I spent several days trying to dispel rumors that Matt had raped or shot or killed someone, rumors that were wholly untrue.  But the rumors were too numerous and widespread for me to eradicate on my own.  So, yes, the decision was made to re-post the site, with links to all the real information, so that it would show up near the top of Google search results containing Matt's name.  What's on the site is just facts and links to this blog, all of which were already available to the public.  All the site does is put them all in one place.  And, just so you'll know, Matt is fully aware that the site is there, and is aware of what the site's contents are, and agrees that it is a quick and effective way to disseminate truths and kill the misinformation.

Those of you who keep saying things like "Matt's not a criminal" need to realize that the evidence says that Matt is most definitely a criminal.  People who commit crimes are, as a result of their actions, criminals.  It appears that, in one night of bad decisions, he committed a series of crimes and is, therefore, a criminal.  I wholeheartedly believe that these crimes do not reflect Matt's true nature, but I cannot ignore the huge body of evidence that says the crimes did happen.  None of us may know all the factors that contributed to these events.  I agree that Matt definitely does need help and support.  But your denial of the facts doesn't help Matt any.  Let's all just admit that Matt is a man who has gotten himself into some pretty deep trouble and is going to need the support of lots of people to begin rebuilding a life for himself somewhere down the road once all of this is over someday in the future.

Kaleb's Stunning Summer Portraits

I know a woman named Sharra who is a photographer, once only as a hobby...and now professionally as the owner of her own portrait studio.  Back in March of 2010, Sharra and her husband Matt and their daughter Bella invited Kaleb and me to go out to Ft. Pickens with them on a Sunday afternoon for some sightseeing, and fun, and photography.  It was super windy, and chillier than we expected, but the result (for me) was this lovely photo of my little guy (right --->).

Well, more recently, Sharra finally was able to get permanent studio space for herself, and is officially open for business.  I was so excited to be able to take Kaleb there for his summer portraits just before school started back!

As of today, Sharra is running a portrait special until the end of the month.  If you "Like" Bella Angel Photography on Facebook, book a session for Sept. or Oct. 2011, and pay for the session before the end of Sept., your session fee is only $15!  That's a great deal, in case you aren't aware what other quality photographers charge in and around Pensacola.

I was incredibly happy with the prints from Kaleb's summer portraits, as well as the great prices Sharra offers her customers!  Check out the stunning quality of our pics below (my faves from our session), then go book a session for yourself, your kids, or your whole family....no, really, go book a session now!

You Don't Know Jack.

Knowing that I'd been a bit more stressed than normal lately, my darling friend, Jack, sent me surprise flowers at work today -- for no reason other than the fact that he loves me.  So, Jack, in case I didn't tell you enough earlier, THANK YOU SO MUCH for being the best friend I could want in my life, and I love you dearly.  You are an amazing man.

♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥ 

So, for the record, my Jack has spectacularly wonderful taste and always managed to find the most gorgeous flowers and gifts to send me.  Don't believe me?  See for yourself!  Below are the beauties he sent me today.

 

See, I told ya!  Ain't he great?!  ☺

Humanity

I, like most people I know, have spent most of my life taking for granted to fact that I am human.  I'm not talking about the fact that I am human as opposed to being canine or feline or bovine, exactly, but rather about the fact that I, as a human person, am capable of having feelings and expressing them and acting upon them.  It had never occurred to me that people -- human beings -- could be put into a situation where their humanity itself is limited or taken away altogether.

Sure, I've seen the news reports of wars and terrorists, murderers and rapists, abusive parents and the isolated instance of clergy or teachers being inappropriate with young people.  But I'm under 30 years old.  There has not been a time in my life when the United States was not at was with some Middle Eastern nation.  There has not been a time in my life where tragedy wasn't a "top story" on every evening's news cast.  I suppose that compromised humanity, like anything else, starts to seem like less of a big deal when it is so common in everyday life.

The past couple of weeks have begun to open my eyes to the reality that has surrounded me, unnoticed, throughout my entire life:

♦ As most of my readers have surely ascertained by now, my son's father is currently in jail, put there by a string of horribly bad choices he made late one night earlier this month. I haven't had much contact with him in a little over a year, even though we've known one another for the better part of 20 years now.  His life decisions led him down a path away from Kaleb and myself, and now they've put him in a terrible situation.  Having stayed in touch with his family during the time I've been apart from him (after all, they are Kaleb's family too), I know that none of them have the resources to bail him out (literally) of where he sits now, and so it is likely he will have to remain there until there is some resolution -- likely through a trial -- of this case.  And, depending on the details of that resolution, he could be there for much, much longer.

Matthew, Part V: The Letter I Will Actually Be Sending

Dear Matt,

I think it's fair to say that when I first met you, almost 20 years ago, I could never have imagined that I would be writing you a letter like this under these circumstances.

I don't know what has changed within you during the year since I last had contact with you on the day that you accompanied your mom to my house when she came to visit Kaleb, but I am writing now to tell you that I want back the “old” Matt.

I want back the Matt who used to drive out to Beulah 5 days a week to pick me up at my bus stop and drive me the ¼ mile down the road to my house. I want back the Matt who was so committed to your public service that you parked your girlfriend (me) and his car across the street from an active structure fire and went, without even a pair of long pants, to see how you could help your fellow firefighters. I want back the Matt who took off work to show up at my house unexpectedly and surprise me with a dozen red roses on the evening that I would be graduating high school. I want back the Matt who drove out to Perdido in a panic a few days later to make one last futile attempt at preventing our break-up. I want back the Matt who tried to talk me out of a marriage I would later see had been a bad idea from the start. I want back the Matt who made time to come hang out with me one last time before I moved away to California with my new husband. I want back the Matt who was never too busy to take my calls when I was lonely and far from home in California. I want back the Matt who drove to Sarasota with my dad to rescue me from a bad living situation mid-way through my husband's deployment. I want back the Matt whose shoulders soaked up gallons of tears when I discovered that my husband was coming home from deployment, but not coming back to me. I want the Matt who drove me out to a quiet dark beach to help me calm down when I fell apart after seeing a movie about a woman who lost the man she loved to war. I want back the Matt who never complained about being woken up at ridiculous hours because I needed to talk, or sometimes because I just didn't want to be alone. I want back the Matt who bought your dad a new blender to keep him from being mad at me for breaking the old one by trying to blend rock-hard frozen strawberries.....even after some of those strawberries became airborne missiles that narrowly missed your head. I want back the Matt who was visibly excited about the prospect of having a son. I want back the Matt who had to fight back tears when you first met your 6-month-old little boy. I want back the Matt who calmed my fears at the thought of our little boy having surgery twice before his first birthday, even though you must have been worried too.

I want back the Matt whom I could go without seeing for months and then pick right back up as if we'd never been apart. I want back the Matt I respected; the Matt I trusted; the Matt I knew would never let me down. I want back the Matt who would defend me and rescue me no matter how stupid a mistake I had made.

Fidelity

I began writing this post back at the beginning of the week.  Originally, I intended to write my opinions about the ridiculousness of people who try to maintain healthy "open" relationships and the shamefulness of people who are unfaithful to their spouses or partners.  I wrote about half the post, intending to finish writing it, proofread it, and publish it the following evening (Tuesday).  However, by the time Tuesday evening rolled around, I had begun receiving texts and calls about the events surrounding Matt's arrest.  This post got moved to a back burner, as other things were occupying my mind and I wanted to blog about those things instead.

This morning, I decided it would be a good time to finish up this post and get it published to the blog.  However, as I sat down to write, I realized that the word "fidelity" has taken on new meaning in my life over the last few days and has come to represent an entirely different set of values and principles -- principles that, at this time in my life, are more important.

Weird

Matthew, Part IV: An Emotional Evolution

• Matthew, Part I: Parallel Histories
• Matthew, Part II: The Aftermath of Poor Choices
• Matthew, Part III: A "Dear Matt" Letter 

===========================================================================  

These last few days have taken my emotions and feelings on a roller-coaster ride of change.  When I first began receiving texts and calls from friends who were concerned about me and checking on me, I had no idea what everyone was talking about.  At first, I got only a very little bit of information.....just enough to scare me.

Luckily, public information doesn't take too terribly long to update locally, and I soon was every to read every terrible detail contained in the police reports.  After reading the "Local News" versions of the story, I was completely and utterly horrified to think that someone I had known so well and for so long could possibly commit acts of the type of which Matt has been accused.

Over the following day or so, I went through a range of emotions:

     Shock at the idea that Matt could be capable of such terrible things,

     Fear over wondering if I had been in danger from Matt and hadn't even realized it,

     Worry, both for Matt being in jail and for the welfare of the victim and her family,

     Anger,

     Disappointment,

     Confusion,

     And mixed emotions in trying to decide how I felt about Matt on a personal level.

Matthew, Part III: A "Dear Matt" Letter

• Matthew, Part I: Parallel Histories
• Matthew, Part II: The Aftermath of Poor Choices 

=========================================================================== 

Dear Matt,

I write this letter not knowing when or if you will ever see it.  I do not have a way to contact you, though, and there are some things I need to say to you.

Matthew, Part II: The Aftermath of Poor Choices

By the end of this post, many of my friends may decide I have completely lost my mind.  Some people will disagree with everything I'm about to write, and if you are one of them, it is completely within your rights to disagree.  If you haven't read Part I part of this series, you might want to start there and then come back to this post.

===========================================================================

Over the last several days, people who know Matt have been reading about his actions in the early morning hours of September 6, 2011 and his ensuing arrest.  I'll not be posting any details in this post, so if you don't know what's going on, you're going to have to hunt down your own info.  If you decide to go looking for info, I would recommend using a online public information resource such as www.escambiaclerk.com or www.escambiaso.com.  I favor these over local news sites or Facebook gossip.

As I began to hear about these events, I posted a generic request to any of my friends who prayed in some fashion to pray for an unnamed person.  At the time, I didn't think it appropriate to post Matt's name before I had gathered more information on what was happening.  I received 6 comments on that prayer request post.  One commenter, my friend Raechel, said that she would pray for the person.  The other 5 comments I deleted as quickly as I saw them, as each one of them had guessed who the "unnamed person" was and had felt justified in posting varying levels of hateful comments telling me that he didn't deserve anyone's prayers.

Matthew, Part I: Parallel Histories

Matthew Nanny came into my life as a child.  He attended the church where my dad worked at the time (also where our family attended church).  I was in the 4th grade; he was in 6th.

At that time, our age/grade differences put us into different groups within the church.  I was still participating in elementary activities, and he was among the youngest in the youth group.  To those of us in the elementary group, all the youth group kids seemed so much older, and to them, I'm sure we all seemed like such babies.  There weren't many activities that brought the elementary and youth groups together, so most of the interaction between us was in the form of joking and teasing in the hallways of the church during between services and Sunday school lessons and Bible studies and choir practices.  I remember that Matt wasn't mean to those of us who were in the younger groups.  He may have teased us a bit, but it was never mean-spirited.

The summer before I entered 8th grade, my dad got a job at a different church, and so our family began attending services at that new church.  I lost tough with Matt, for the most part, only seeing him at activities where the youth groups from several churches got together.  When we did cross paths at activities such as these, Matt would always smile or wave or say hello.

The summer before my Sophomore year of high school (1998), Matt and I ended up at one of these multi-church youth group events at Big Lagoon State Park.  Throughout the afternoon, we ended up chatting several times.  We next met up at a multi-church lock-in that fall.  At the time, I was in 10th grade, and Matt was in 12th.  We didn't attend the same school, but there was a spark of interest that night at the lock in, and before the night was over, I had received my first kiss -- from Matt.  A week later, I got permission from my parents to invite Matt to our family Thanksgiving.  He wasn't the first person whom I had called "boyfriend," but he was probably the first real boyfriend I had ever had.  Unfortunately, relationships between teens, who attend different schools and don't drive yet, are difficult to maintain.  This case was no different, and the entire deal lasted less than a month.  Afterwards, we lost contact again for a while.