A Quick Vote & Something I Wish I Could Say

Hadn't planned on posting tonight before bed, but here it goes anyway.

A:  A Quick Vote

After I picked Kaleb up today and before we headed for home, we stopped off at my local polling precinct to vote.  Today was the Republican primary in Florida, and I'm not a Republican.  So, what was on my ballot?  A question about whether or not I support continuing the Ad valorem tax for another 10 years to try and bring more jobs to the area.  Yup, that's it.  But I went and cast my vote anyway.  Voting is something I feel is my responsibility.  I also want Kaleb to learn the importance of civic duties.

B:  Something I Wish I Could Say

We all have those times when we hold our tongues because what we want to say is not something that we should say.  I'd say that the majority of these instances happen to me when I'm at work.  I can't look at a student and say, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"  I can't call a parent on the phone and say, "Your kid is a jerk and a nuisance who should be spanked or institutionalized (or both)!"  I can't say to a coworker, "Hey, why don't you try being useful for a change?!"  [Luckily most all of my coworkers are pretty great, so this thought doesn't come up often!]  I can't say certain things to my friends when I think they're mixing up their priorities, because I tend to value my friendships more than I value being "right."  But just because I don't say all these things, it doesn't mean I don't think them!  So, if I appear to be deep in thought, might want to think twice before asking me what's on my mind!

P52, Somewhat: Week 5, "Self"

What a tough topic "Self" has turned out to be this week.  You see, to take a photo of your "self," you must first understand who your "self" is—and that is something that can be quite a challenge for anyone.

What I've decided about myself is this: I'm a person who constantly looks back.

•  I look back at past friendships, to learn what went wrong and why and how better to take care of my important friendships and other relationships now and in the future.

•  I look back at past romances, to learn where my priorities are and what I want and need from that sort of relationship.

•  I look back at past jobs to learn what about them made me happy and what made me miserable, what gave me a sense of purpose and what seemed frustratingly impossible.

•  I look back—to past joys and hurts, frivolities and losses, successes and failures—to learn how to move forward without repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

I look back.  Looking back allows me to be a better mother, a better friend, a better daughter, a better teacher, a better co-worker, a better citizen.....in general, a better person.  Looking back helps me to accept my flaws by showing me that, even though I have always been flawed, I have still had successes.  Looking back helps me to see that I am a person worthy of happiness and love and contentment.

Looking back gives me the tools and the wisdom I need to move forward.

And so, I look back.

Major & Minor World Religions: Correcting Some Common Misconceptions

I assume that anyone who knows me much at all (or who has read the bumper stickers on my car) already knows that I long ago walked away from the Christian faith I was raised with, and have since "tried on" a variety of other religious belief-sets.  During my travels through the world of religions, I encountered any number of misconceptions people have about "other" relgions, and many of them are things I continue to hear on at least a semi-regular basis.  I'm sure that the majority of people do not openly disparage other faiths intending to be mean, but rather because they have been so routinely misinformed.  So, hoping to correct some fallacies, I've listed here a collection of the mistaken beliefs I've heard most frequently.

► Members of alternative religious groups haven't studied the Bible or heard about Jesus.

The implication of this myth is that if these people really knew about Christianity, they would become Christians. It is the fundamental basis for most of the missionary work - and crusades - in Christian history. It is not, however, the case for the vast majority of those worshiping in smaller religions today. Practically all of these members have a background in Christianity and chose to leave it for their current path. They are as well-versed in the Christian faith as most Christians.

► Those smaller groups aren't 'real' religions.

The American Heritage dictionary defines a religion as "A set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader". This definition does not specifically mention which leader - or which teachings - these beliefs must be based upon. Therefore, any group, no matter how small their numbers or how unusual their beliefs, which bases their practices in spirituality is a religion.

Help Reunite Grandparents with Baby Granddaughter!

While scanning my Facebook News Feed tonight—is it still called a News Feed?—I saw that a friend had posted this:

I read that and knew immediately that I wanted to help.  I have learned some tricks over the years for trying to find people online, but they aren't always enough.  So, even though it may be a long shot, I'm reposting this plea here on my blog in hopes that someone might see it.

I know that things like this circulate Facebook with some frequency, and most of them turn out to be hoaxes to get us to click links that lead to viruses or get us to donate money to mysterious organizations or people feigning illness.  Rest assured, this is no hoax.  In the pic above, you see the post was put up by a man named Leslie Taylor.  Leslie is an old friend of mine from middle school, and I had a real-time chat with him verifying the validity of this issue.  The grandparents who are looking for their granddaughter are a deacon and his wife from Leslie's home church and, according to Leslie, are good and loving people.

I'm so glad that my son is lucky enough to have 5 living grandparents and 4 living great-grandparents, as well as lots of extended family and many of my friends who are like family too.  I believe that children deserve to grow up surrounded by as many loving relatives as possible, and I hate the thought of these good people and this little girl living separate lives.

The First of Many

Gray hair. Grrrr.

Yesterday, I wore my hair in two braided pigtails which started right behind my ears and hung down in front of my shoulders.  This means that my hair spent more time in my line of sight than normal, and was not held shaped into its natural ringlet curls by any hair products.  While one of my classes was taking a test this morning, I glanced down and something caught my eye.  Right there, half-hidden in the braid down my left shoulder, was a gray hair—or maybe it is white, as many natural redheads never go gray but go white instead; it's hard to tell with just this one hair in the middle of all the darker red ones.  Ugh.

Yes, I know that gray hair is one of those things that happens, but that doesn't mean that I was really prepared for it at the "ripe old age" of 28!  I had thought I might make it all the way to the Big Three-Oh before this issue sprouted.

Pic has been
enhanced to
show that
darn hair. :-)

I've always said that I wouldn't be the kind of person who started dying my hair once the grays started showing up.  And I still stand by that decision.  This gray hair has a name already, although I cannot include its name here because it is the name of my "favorite" student.

This is only the first of many more to come.  Each one will be a part of me, and will reflect a further progression of my age, more life lived.  I can no more stop the appearance of gray hairs than slow the passage of time.  And I can think of so many things more important to me at this moment than continually worrying over whether or not my grays are showing.

So, it has begun.  And it will continue.

They Grow So Quickly!

My sweet boy in a red sweater!

If you're a parent, you already know how very quickly children grow up...right before our eyes.  By Kaleb's 3rd birthday, he had nearly doubled his birth height and had more than quadrupled his birth weight!  At his 3-year check upa few days after his birthday, Kaleb was a "38 square": 38 inches tall, 38 pounds.

Several days before Kaleb's birthday, on December 27, Kaleb and I went to have his portraits made with Matt & Sharra Clark at Bella Angel Photography.  Last night I received my watermarked digital proofs from Sharra, and was astonished at how visibly older he looks in the pics!

I hope to have some prints mailed out to family within the next few weeks, but in the meantime I'm publishing this post as a sneak peek of our spectacular portraits!

Catharsis

Some days, some hours, some moments, life can take a downward spiral and end up leaving us broken, defeated, and demoralized.  These descents into emotional desolation can be provoked by situations, places, people, or occurrences—and once the declivity begins, you can feel powerless against it, completely incapable of halting the fall or preventing the impending crash.

And when we reach that low point, we all need some form of cathartic release to counteract the onset of despair and depression.

Some find catharsis in drugs, alcohol, and cutting—effectively trading one form of negativity for another, without getting any closer to a healthy management of their inner demons.  Some, having been clinically diagnosed with some variety of mental instability, are able to find catharsis only in psychotropics....and some make use of psychotropics without an accompanying diagnosis.

But, for the vast majority of us, release is something we achieve either within ourselves or by performing some ritualistic activity that has the ability to absorb the dismal feelings and contain them safely.

2012 State of the Union — My Reactions to Some of the Events of Last Evening

Last evening President Barack Obama delivered the third State of the Union address of his presidency.  As I do every year, I watched the entire speech.  Kaleb got to stay up later than usual, because I didn't want to miss any of it.

I think that it's important to watch, if at all possible, any time the President addresses the nation.  And I don't think that it is any less important if the speech is being delivered by a President you may not be particularly fond of.  When George W. Bush was in office, I watched his SOTU address every year and, while he never said much of anything I agreed with,—and certainly never spoke eloquently on any subject during his term in office—I still was always glad to have taken the chance to hear what the country's leader had to say.

I can honestly say that I do not regret having voted for Barack Obama in the 2008 election, and unless some miracle candidate comes on the scene between now and the 2012 election, I will be voting for him again this coming November.  In 2008 I was excited to be voting for someone with such innovative ideas and grand plans for making positive changes in the country.  I knew that the office of the President was one endowed with only very limited power to affect change, but a Democratic President coupled with a Democratic-majority Congress gave me hope that things really could get better, and I had a renewed faith in the U.S. system of government.

In his first year or so in office, Obama was able to work with a mostly-friendly Congress to begin making some of those changes.  Then, in 2010, enough Democratic Congressmen lost their Congressional seats to Republicans, giving the Republicans the majority control of Congress.  And overnight, the progress being made came to a screeching halt.  Congressional work spiraled downward into a quagmire of mud-slinging and party bickering; too many Congressmen stopped thinking rationally and began voting strictly along party lines, even on issues that many from both parties actually would have agreed upon; the ensuing governmental standstill brought an abrupt end to my tentative hopes for positive change.

Service to the Customer

Dear service industry employees, you need to learn a very important lesson: the customer pays your salary.  This is the most important lesson for anyone to learn working in any type of service industry.

Having been on both sides of the customer service counter, as a customer service representative and as a customer, I can tell you several things for certain:

• The Customer doesn't want to hear your excuses.
• The Customer doesn't care what else is going on in your life.
• The Customer doesn't care how much work you put into something if they aren't getting results.
• It doesn't matter if the Customer is right or wrong.  Either way, your job is to do everything in your power to make them happy.
• If the customer's satisfaction isn't your primary priority, you are in the wrong industry.

In the past, I have had multiple service-oriented jobs.  I have cooked and waited tables at Waffle House.  I have worked in a call center handling customer service calls for a major credit card company.  I have managed life insurance policies.  I have scheduled home security system installations.  I have sold and delivered retail auto parts.  I have been both a cashier and a customer service associate at a Walmart store.  While the specific tasks and responsibilities at these jobs varied, I was always, first and foremost, tasked with providing excellent customer service to our customers.

P52, Somewhat: Week 4, "Animal"

I am the mother of a 3-year-old. And my 3-year-old, like most other children his age, is absolutely fascinated with animals. Cats, dogs, gerbils, cows, giraffes, fish—if it's an animal, he's interested. So when I saw that this week's photo topic was "animal," I knew that my subject for the photo would likely be something that is already a part of Kaleb's life. I began a few weeks early, snapping pictures of our family's pet cat and gerbils, as well as any number of Kaleb's favorite stuffed animals left lying around the house.

And in the process, I came up with many shots I liked.

But none that I quite wanted to post for this week's P52.

On January 14, my mom and I took Kaleb to the Pensacola Civic Center to see the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus. The troupe touring in our area is presenting a show called "Bash," which had an hour-long pre-show event open to all ticket holders. We got to go down on the show floor, meet some performers, and Kaleb got to be part of several activities to make kids feel like part of the show.

During the course of the pre-show, they were encouraging people to sign up for a raffle, for which the prize would be a free elephant footprint.  We put a couple of entries into the box, and thought it might be pretty fun if Kaleb were to win one.  What hadn't occurred to me was when exactly they were going to make the footprint.  Not until, while we were sitting around the ring on the circus floor, several of the circus performers rolled out a cart with some trays of watered-down paint and began to spread a drop cloth on the ground.  I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see a trainer leading an elephant into the ring.  She walked the elephant around the perimeter of the ring so all the spectators sitting there could wave hello.

Kaleb was stunned into a paralyzed silence.  He didn't move.  He didn't speak.  He was simply amazed to be so close to such a giant animal—the M.C. said she weighed 7,000-ish lbs!  After he recovered form the initial amazement, Kaleb got excited and began to laugh and clap and chatter along with everyone else.  We watched as several performers helped to coordinate the making of elephant footprints, and then they escorted the elephant back to her area backstage.

Long-Lost, Well-Loved Essay

When I was in high school, I came across a beautifully-written essay that was an expansion of the definition of "Unconditional Love."  I painstakingly retyped that essay back then and carried it around school in my binder.  It's typical for teen-aged girls to daydream romantic notions, and I was no different.  At that time, I thought this essay was the most romantic thing I had ever read, in addition to being filled with beautiful words—and we've established in previous posts that, by this point in my life, I had already become a lexophile.

As I've grown up, I've thought back to that essay many times, wishing I hadn't lost that single typed copy and wishing I could piece together enough of the words from memory to find it again using an internet search engine.  I've grown to learn that the words and sentiments I once thought to be so romantic are so very much more than romantic; indeed, they are words that can be applied to our friends, our families, and the people around us in our everyday lives.  There are so many kinds of love, and I've come to understand that the overwhelming majority of these do not have anything at all to do with romance.

Today, I finally remembered the right combination of words and was able to locate that essay again!  I'm so happy to be able to reread these words, and fill in the gaps in my memory.  The words are as beautiful as they were to me some 15 years ago, perhaps even more so now that I have learned to see their deeper meaning.

In order to never again lose this essay, and also to share with my readers, I've decided to post the work here in its entirety, with proper credit given to the author whose name I never knew until an hour ago.

What a lovely world it would be if we all learned to apply this definition of "Unconditional Love" to our interactions with the people in our lives, both those we hold dear and those whose paths we cross only briefly.

Where Does the Confidence GO?

From the time we are born, our parents begin to teach us what is right and wrong.  At some point, we begin to understand these things.  We learn that it's not nice to hit our friends or steal their toys.  We learn that when we don't follow directions, we get in trouble. [For the purposes of this post, I'm not going to go in-depth about kids who never learn discipline.]  We also learn what clothes are appropriate for different situations: pajamas for bed, shorts in warm weather, jackets in cold weather, swim suits for playing near the water, and shiny shoes for fancy places.  We start to learn modesty, too.

In our teen years, our developing bodies cause lots of internal crises.  Modesty is still a part of life, but our failing self-confidence is a stronger reason for keeping on our clothes.  We don't want to look at ourselves, and we sure don't want others to see our crazy imperfections.  But where does our confidence go?

Now, I'm not suggesting that we should all go around naked all the time.  Frankly, there are not many people who I'd want to see naked.  Modesty and decency laws are a good thing.

But I know people who live alone, or only with a spouse, and won't walk across their own hallways naked from the shower to the bedroom.  That's a little crazy to me.  As adults, shouldn't we at least be comfortable enough with ourselves to again be ok with private nudity?

Quest for a New Daycare: The First Week

Well, Kaleb has just finished his first week at his new daycare!  I think it's safe to say we've picked a winner!

On Monday, his Aunt Tonya (who works there teaching VPK) had a quick moment to check on him, and this is the message she sent me:

That instantly helped me to feel better.  After all, Kaleb's the one who spends his days at daycare, not me.  It's important to me that he be someplace where he can feel happy and secure.

On Tuesday when I arrived to pick up Kaleb, he proudly proclaimed "Mommy! Nobody bite me today!"  It was only then that I realized how Kaleb had come to believe that being bitten or hit at school every day was a normal thing, rather than the result of a daycare with too little structure and ineffective disciplinary techniques.

Daisy List

All kinds of people compose lists, often called "Bucket Lists," to name all the things they hope to do before they die one day.  I think it can be a useful tool for helping to realize your dreams, analyze your goals, and organize your priorities.  Some items on peoples' lists can be unrealistic, like marrying a bazillionaire or climbing Mt. Everest naked.  But if you realize that you do have some finite limitations, you can compile a list that is both realistic and challenging.  I, however, just don't like the imagery associated with a Bucket List to name all the things one would like to accomplish before they "kick the bucket."  So, in creating my before-I-die list, I have chosen, instead, to use the imagery of "pushing up daisies" and am creating my Daisy List.

SOPA & PIPA: Bad news for Americans!

Update: Jan. 18, 2012, 4:10p.m.
The SOPA Bill had had to be put on hold, as President Obama confirmed today that he would not support (in other words, VETO) the bill if is managed to get through Congress as-is.  Click HERE for a more complete story!

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As you travel around the internet today, you will undoubtedly notice that many prominent American websites -- Google, Wikipedia, The Oatmeal, Cheezburger, etc. -- have "blacked out" for the day in protest against the proposed SOPA (Stop Internet Piracy Act) and PIPA (Protect I.P. Act).  I've decided to post, here today, my version of a blacked-out post, and fill it with information about SOPA and PIPA.  Most of the information here will be quoted from other sources, with links back to the original articles/sources.  All clickable links in this post will open in new windows/tabs, so you won't be directed away from this site unintentionally.


Quoted from this article on PBS:

If you normally turn to Wikipedia to look things up, you will have to go elsewhere tomorrow. The English version of Wikipedia, along with other popular sites, such as Reddit and BoingBoing, will go black for 24 hours to protest anti-piracy legislation.

The companies oppose two federal bills, the Stop Online Piracy Act, known as SOPA, and the Protect I.P. Act, known as PIPA. The legislation could force websites to monitor material from users that may include copyrighted content. It could also give the government the right to block entire websites.

Major content providers, including the film and recording industry, say they need greater protection from copyright theft. The Obama administration said over the weekend it wouldn't support the current versions of the bills.

The entire piece is great, and you should take some time to watch or read the entire thing by using the link back before the quote.

Wikipedia has more great info on these proposed Acts here.

If you prefer your information in graphic format, click here.

The author of one of my favorite illustrated blogs, The Oatmeal, has blacked out his site with today's post and published the animated gif below, with a note that his readers should "Please pirate the shit out of this animated GIF."  So I did!

So far, I've seen lots of opponents of these proposals suggest that people contact their representatives to let them know that this sort of censorship.  While Congress hasn't been particularly effective lately, it couldn't hurt!  If you're unsure who your Reps are or how to contact them, Wikipedia provides this free resource for locating their names and contact info.  Click here to use that tool.

My Compliments

From the time we are small children, we are taught how to act and react around others.  We are taught to be polite and consider other peoples' feelings.  We are taught to use proper manners—well, most of us are taught—and say all those lovely "Yes, ma'ams" and "No, sirs."

And all of these lessons are fairly straightforward.  But, unfortunately, not all our life lessons will prove to be so clear and easily understood.

While we are learning our manners as children, the adults in our lives continually stress the importance of saying "thank you."  We are taught to say our thanks to people who serve us at restaurants, the people who carry our groceries to our cars, the people who help us find those an item we can't locate at the store, the telephone customer service reps employed by every company with which we do business.  We give a quick wave and a smile of appreciation to people who give us a spot to cut out into traffic on a busy street.  We say thank yous to people who hold open doors for us to pass through.

We are also taught to say "thank you" when people pay us compliments.  And while our parents and teachers are teaching us to thank those who compliment us, they are simultaneously teaching us to be humble and not to brag.

Then we hit.....the teen years.  And we change forever.  All of a sudden, we become acutely aware of our own flaws.  Our self-confidence plummets to extreme lows, and we even begin to imagine non-existent imperfections and greatly magnify minor ones.  It's a terrible thing that we, as teenagers, do to ourselves.

As adults, we begin to recover from this low period, but it will forever leave its mark on our lives and on the way we react to compliments.

Red!'s First Ever Red! Box Giveaway!

Do you read Red! Blog?

Do you like free stuff?

Well, then you're in for a treat!

As of the time I am clicking the button to publish this post, Red! Blog is only a mere 7 page views away from a lifetime total of 9,000 views!  This is very exciting, as it means Red! and I are approaching a milestone: 10,000 page views!  If you're a blogger, you should understand that this is very exciting.  If you're not a blogger, you'll have to just take my word for it: It's exciting!  Either way, this is your opportunity to get free things.....in the mail.....in a box.....that might or might not be red!

So, here's the deal:

Tell your friends and family and co-workers all about the wonder, beauty, and magnificence that is Red!  Give them the web address (www.PcolaRedHead.com).  Ask them to come look; order them to come look; beg them to come look.  Do what you can do to help me get to 10,000 legitimate page views—this means that I would not appreciate people hitting the refresh button repeatedly to run up the counters.  Also, tell all your Facebook friends about Red!'s Facebook Page, and ask them to "Like" it.

When I reach 10,000 page views at Red! or when we have 200 "Likes" on Facebook (whichever happens first), I will announce the guidelines for entering a drawing the win a box of free stuff!  What will be in the box?  I won't tell you -- actually, I haven't decided yet.  But believe me when I tell you that it will be totally cool, and those who don't win will be horribly jealous of the person who does win.

So, get busy helping me to spread the word.  Bring me some new readers, and let's reach a milestone worthy of a Red! Box Giveaway!

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**Details: Giveaway will be open to persons aged 18 (or legal age of majority in your state/country of residence) or older.  No purchase, credit card, or other exchange of monies will be required to enter the contest, however all persons wishing to enter must have a valid email address.  Entries will be accepted for 14 days after the date/time of the post announcing the start of the contest and the contest's official rules and requirements.  At the end of the entry period, all names will be placed in a drawing, which will be recorded and posted in video format in another post on this blog to announce the winner.  Each person will receive only two entries into the contest, and additional entries may not be purchased.

P52, Somewhat: Week 3, "Inspire"

As I've mentioned before, I'm a lexophile....a "word person."  My fascination with words began as a child and has never stopped.  I love all kinds of words, both the familiar and the obscure.  And, like other word people, I have a habit of relating one word to another, by definition or usage or by some other means.  When I first read the list of topics for this P52 challenge, my eye immediately caught on this week's "Inspire" topic.  In my mind I couldn't stop turning the word over and over, thinking of how many pictures could be taken to fit the prompt in one way or another.

I thought of the cliché photos I could take of my adorable little boy, and then label him as my "inspiration."  But that would not have been truthful.  I've loved writing for much much longer than I've even been a parent.  So, while Kaleb may be the topic of plenty of my blog posts these days, he's not the reason I write.

I thought of how to play with the word, turn it into a pun and take a picture.  I thought of all the lovely old churches downtown, with the towering architecture that might give me a place to climb into and take a photo.  You know, from the spire of an old church.  From the inside.  In the spire.  In spire.  Inspire.  But even I couldn't get behind that silly an idea....and I sure didn't know when I'd ever have the time to find a church to let me climb around in their towers.

So, I decided to take a more serious turn with the word.  I thought of all the words that are used with 'inspire,' and the words with similar meanings or alliterative assonance.  Inspire — Influence — Instigate: Three words with meanings a hair's breadth apart, yet with vastly dissonant connotations.

I've decided that maybe it is the words themselves that inspire me to write and to improve.  And the source of my inspiration, therefore, is the sourse of all the words: books.

Books have been a part of my life since I was a tiny child.  When I was born, my mother was the librarian at the Crestview Public Library.  I'd say it's a good bet that I listened to the text of more than one book before I was ever even born!  From my birth, my parents both understood the importance of reading to children, and their awareness only increased once they were both through school and working as teachers.  While my memories of my pre-school days are limited and fuzzy, many of my earliest memories include reading with or being read to by my parents.  I heard words, and I learned words; eventually, I fell in love with words.

Words enabled me to excel in school when I put enough effort behind my abilities.  Words helped me to build a healthy imagination.  Sometimes words got me in trouble....because I couldn't keep quiet during my school lessons.  But overall, words have done far more good in my life than most other influencing factors.  So, it is in tribute to my love of books and the words within—the words of others—that I snapped this week's pic.

Quest for a New Daycare: First Day Jitters

Tomorrow, Kaleb will attend his first day at his new daycare!  I'm sad to be leaving behind a daycare that we both once loved so much, and the daycare director who we both still love, but the new ownership of that beloved place had made it impossible for me to keep Kaleb there and feel that he is safe and well cared for while I go to work each day.  So, after a tour of daycares with high recommendations from friends and co-workers, Kaleb and I have found a great new place for him to spend his days!

Malena's Mini School, Pine Forest Road, Pensacola, FL

Kaleb and I have spent lots of time over the last couple of days talking about the new school.  We've talked about the ways it will be similar: story times, play times, lunch, nap, snack, and time on the playground.  We've talked about what will be different: new teachers, new friends, new rooms and routines.  We've talked about how Kaleb will have to learn to follow the directions of new teachers and how he will have to adjust to a new schedule.  He seems very excited about starting anew.

I'm excited too, but I can't help but be a little nervous as well.  I don't want the Ghosts of Daycare Past to follow him to this new place.  I'm still carrying the weight of the newer teachers at the old daycare telling me that Kaleb is a bully.....not knowing that Kaleb endured being bitten and hit and kicked almost daily for a couple of years before he ever began to fight back or go on the offensive against those ill-mannered brats in his age-group class.  I'm glad he'll have the chance to start afresh with new teachers and children, and I hope that the added structure of the daily program at this new school will help him to move forward and learn in a safe environment where he will never need to feel like he has to defend himself.

Ready or not, tomorrow begins a new chapter in Kaleb's childhood!

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Update, Jan. 20, 2012: We're at the end of Kaleb's first week at the new school, and things are going great!  To read the update on Kaleb's first few days, click here!

A Quick Q&A—Marriage Equality

Q: So, Sarah, you support gay marriage?

A: I support marriage.  While I certainly don't want to do it again myself, lots of people do, and I know of no reason (aside from religious ones) why they shouldn't be allowed to marry.

In short, I think ANY adult should be allowed to legally marry ANY other single (1) consenting adult.  Period.

The sad thing is that anyone needs to have a political opinion concerning who can marry whom!

If anyone can give me a rational reason why this should not be allowed,a reason that is not religion- or faith-based, I'm happy to listen (this does not mean I'm going to change my mind).  Otherwise, mind your own business and keep your noses out of other people's love lives.

Statistical Geek-Fest!

Anyone who writes a blog or manages any other type of website can tell you that page statistics are fascinating to blog authors and webmasters.  I'm no different.  I love seeing my blog reach new milestones in readership and tracking what key words and search terms lead people to my site.  It's amazing to me to see how many readers come to my blog from places outside the United States.

I thought I must certainly have a reader or two who were similarly geeky and might get a kick out of viewing my site stats.  So, I have created an InfoGraphic packed with site stats and posted it for public viewing.  The InfoGraphic was fun to create, but somewhat time-consuming, as I wanted it to be unique and not automatically generated by some web tool.  Because of the work involved, I think that for now, I will update it annually.

Check it out!

Red Blog's Annual Statistical InfoGraphic

You can also link to the InfoGraphic from the bottom of any page on the Red! main blog, to view it as you wish without having to revisit this post.

Quest for a New Daycare: Success!

Between yesterday and today, Kaleb and I have now toured 4 daycare centers, all chosen by excellent word-of-mouth recommendations.

1. Malena's Mini School on Pine Forest Road
2. Childcare Network on Langley Avenue
3. KinderWorld on Toni St.
4. one other center that I will not name on this public blog

The first two were nearly a tie in my mind. Both have an excellent curriculum for their students; both were clean and seemed to be organized and run well; all the people at both facilities were wonderfully nice to me and, more importantly, to Kaleb.  He was eager to run off and join the classes immediately!

#3 was a large facility.  I was only able to talk to one person, and several of my questions went unanswered.  The place seemed clean, but none of the teachers seemed interested when Kaleb and I walked into the rooms, and none made any move to speak to either of us....or even to smile.   In general, I'm not as fond of daycares that put several classes into one huge room, and section off the "classrooms" with bookshelves and tables.  It's incredibly noisy and leads to a greater chaotic feel.  It was this that ruled out #3.

The 4th (unnamed) facility we did not even walk into, I'll admit.  When we pulled up to the front of the house-turned-daycare, my first impression was that it was teeny-tiny.  Before I even turned off the car, something caught the corner of my eye.  In the back lot of the business next door -- which had several empty flat-bed trailers in it -- was a child, maybe 2 years old.  There was a daycare employee climbing the fence to retrieve him.  I want to believe that this was an isolated incident that has never happened before and will never happen again.....but I'm not willing to take the risk.  If the child went unobserved long enough to end up on the wrong side of the fence, I can say I'm definitely not taking my son to daycare there.

Quest for a New Daycare: The Reasons

About 6 weeks ago, the process began for Kaleb's daycare to come under the control of new ownership/management.  When I first got the news, I seriously considered looking for new arrangements because the director that Kaleb has known and adored since he began daycare there at 6 weeks old was going to be leaving the when the new ownership came in.  Within a few weeks, however, that director and the new management had come to an agreement that would keep her on as a co-director, so I felt comfortable staying where we were.

However, as the new owners have implemented changes over these last weeks, I have begun to seriously reconsider my decision to stay.

P52, Somewhat: Week 2, "Perfect"

So, I have hit upon the most perfect idea for this week's P52 post!

My secret addiction is crossword puzzles.  Most people don't know, but I do them all the time.  I do them online, in magazines, and in the newspaper.  One of the teachers I work with even bought me an entire book of them for Christmas!  I like the easy ones and the more challenging ones.  And I've been addicted since about my senior year of high school.

By the age of 15, I was writing all the time.  I wrote short stories, poems, journals, letters, word puns.  I wrote, and I filled folders and notebooks full of these writings.  The more I wrote, the more I wanted to write.  And as I wrote, I developed a fascination for words.  So I began to learn new words: short or long, impressive, obscure, words with odd spellings, even a few "q"-without"u" words.

Not only did my increased vocabulary begin to make my writing more interesting, it also made me great at solving word puzzles.  My senior year of high school, I took a fluff-type class, 1st period all year, called Contemporary History.  Basically, we had one of the coolest, ridiculously-intelligent men on the planet teaching the class, and we sat around reading the most current newspapers and news magazines and discussing world events and politics.  Most of the students in the class were seniors like I was, and we'd all sit around like the almost-adults we were drinking coffee and eating breakfast snacks and reading the paper, all the while having rather advance teacher-led discussions about what was going on in the world around us.

During the year in Contemporary History, I made friends with another student who was also a lexophile* and together we would work the puzzles in each day's newspaper: 2 crossword puzzles, the Jumble, and the CryptoQuote.  It was our "thing" and everyone knew it.  Now, as every crossword addict knows, as you get into working harder and harder puzzles, you're going to run into clues for which you have no answer.  For those times, there are books similar to Thesauruses designed just for puzzle lovers.  You look up a key word in the clue, and hints are sorted based on the number of letters or spaces you need to fill.  Need a five-letter word for "mad"? How about "irate"?

Some words, as every lexophile* knows, have lots and lots of synonyms.  Perfect is one such word.  In fact, in my crossword puzzle dictionary, there are over 200 synonyms given for "perfect."  So, while perfect may not mean exactly the same thing to every person, there is certainly a "perfect" synonym to compliment your vocabulary!

And, after all, what is a writer without words?

Responsibility, Part VI: Caretaker of Mother Earth

We do not inherit the earth

from our ancestors; we borrow

it from our children.

~Native American Proverb

I think it would be safe to say that, today, every person in the modernized world has been taught about the importance of protecting and preserving our precious planet.  Native people all over the world have understood this since time began, because they lived more closely in tune with the lands they inhabited, but industry and modernization and technology seem to have caused a collective amnesia of this fact in the minds of modern people.  Over time, this selective forgetfulness has allowed us to cause damage to our environment, some of which may be irreparable.  But this doesn't mean that we ought to simply give up and let the swift destruction continue....quite the opposite, in fact.  Rather than resign ourselves to the inevitable outcomes of events already set in motion, we should instead redouble our efforts to correct our behaviors and accept responsibility for the fate of our planet.

As Earth's caretakers, we have numerous responsibilities, many of which fit into our daily lives without inconvenience.

It's A Magic Number

Today my baby turned 3 years old!

I can't believe that it's been three whole years already since he was born.  These have been three years filled with happiness and heartache, tears and laughter.  And there's nothing in this world that could convince me to go back to life before Kaleb. It's definitely true that 3 is a magic number.

Ok, so maybe my little family is just a family of two, but that's ok.  We do pretty well figuring stuff out together, and Kaleb and I are lucky to be surrounded by family and good friends who love us and are always around with advice or other help.

I know plenty of people who go all out and have crazy parties for their childrens' birthdays.  And while I'm sure Kaleb will age into birthday parties eventually, it seemed a little silly to have one this year.  I mean, he really only even sees other kids at daycare, and I don't know any of their parents.  I certainly don't want all those extra rugrats running around in my house on sugar highs, and there's no money for a party elsewhere.  Kaleb will be asking for parties soon enough, so since he didn't mention it this year, neither did I.  Instead, I planned a nice little family day for us.

Responsibility, Part V: Citizen of the World

"I must do something" always solves more problems than "Something must be done."

~Author Unknown

Where do you live?  Of what larger entity are you a part?  Of what place are you a citizen?  I, personally, am a citizen of Pensacola, FL, Escambia County, the state of Florida and the United States of America.  Each of those levels of citizenship comes with its own set of responsibilities.  However, the citizenship that is the most meaningful to me is being a citizen of the world.  Moreover, I want to be known as a responsible citizen of the world.

This means many things to many people, but to me there are two things of primary importance in being a responsible citizen of the world community.

Responsibility, Part IV: Personal Life

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?

A terrible thing: no one to blame.

~Erica Jong

Whether or not you choose to admit or acknowledge, you are responsible for yourself and your actions.  You are also responsible for the results of your actions.  It's called personal responsibility, and you can ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist, but you can never truly run from it.  It goes everywhere with you, through every phase of your life.  As a child, your personal responsibility is limited, partially falling upon your parents or guardians.  As you grow up, however, the balance shifts until, as an adult, you bear the full responsibility for your actions, abilities, and attitudes.

Since there seems to be a pandemic of people who seem not to have a clue what it means to accept personal responsibility for anything, I thought I would take a brief look at the concept in this post.

"Personal Responsibility:
 There is only one person responsible for your life and the vocation you have chosen. That person is the one you see in the mirror in the morning when you wake up. Don't blame God, your boss, your parents, your former teachers, your coach, your co-workers or your dog. You and only you are responsible for your work life and what you have achieved. The sooner you accept this notion, the sooner you will begin to make changes that lead to a happier and more productive life and career."

(Quoted from this site.)

Responsibility, Part III: Parenting

There seems to be an epidemic, these days, of people mistakenly thinking that children are just miniature sized adults.  Seriously, folks...there really are small-sized adults in the world, but they are generally people with some form of dwarfism; they are never actual children!  In fact, in the entire animal kingdom, human children are less like their adult counterparts than are the juveniles of any other animal species!  Of all the animals in the world, humans have the longest period of "childhood" and dependence on the adults of their species.

Whether or not you have children yourself, you are a parent to the next generation. If we can only stop thinking of children as individual property and think of them as the next generation, then we can realize we all have a role to play.

~Charlotte Davis Kasl, Finding Joy, 1994

I'm unsure why people don't seem to get this.  Every person who is a part of any society has contact with children at some time, which means that we all influence children in some way, either directly or indirectly.  So, it makes sense that you could be considered "a parent to the next generation" as stated above.

And if you're going to be a parent, in any fashion,

you might as well be a responsible parent!

P52, Somewhat: Week 1, "New"

It's Week 1 of P52.  If you don't know what that means, click here to open a new window with the first post in this series, and check it out!

The topic for this weeks P52 photo was "new."  Obviously, this topic was chosen specifically for this time of year.  It's a new year.  We just passed Christmas, during which many people got lots of new things.  January is a time for beginnings to many people, so "new" made perfect sense as a photo prompt.

With all the technology that is available today, the concept of writing has taken on a new connotation for many people.  You can sit down at a computer or pick up an iPad or smart phone and compose any document or blog or status update you with with a simple click of a few buttons.  But for someone who truly loves to write, there is still nothing that gives that same sensation as sitting down to write, using a brand new pen on blank paper.

A piece of blank paper has very nearly infinite potential.  Paper can be filled with any words you choose, and can become a love story or an adventure or a heartbreaking tale of sorrow.  The only limits placed upon a blank sheet of paper are its corporeal dimensions and the writer's own vocabulary.

In a time when technology has replaced the need for legible penmanship, in many peoples' opinions, the love of turning a simple sheet of blank paper into a work of living, emotional art is a rarity.  I have this love.  I often write drafts of blog posts on paper before the words ever make it into the pixels of my laptop's screen.  I have notebooks and folders and binders filled with things I have written, some over a decade old and others written as recently as yesterday.

It's the promise of creation that draws me to the paper and pen.  The lure of "new."  The opportunity of the yet-unwritten story.

Responsibility, Part II: Love & Marriage

In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced.

~Robert Sexton

Let's face it: Not all couples who love one another choose to get married; and not all people who get married do so because they love one another.  And some people cannot marry, even though they love another and want to spend forever together, because lawmakers think that they should have the right to choose who can marry and who can't.  But this post is not about the politics of marriage equality; I have written about that before ► here ◄.

I have been married.  I have been divorced.  I have dated, then hated.  I have lived with boyfriends, and lived apart form them.  I have dumped and have been dumped.  I have begun and ended relationships—sometimes after many years, and several times after only a few days.  As I write this post, I am 28 years old.  Life has many lessons yet to teach me about love and romance and relationships, but there are a few things I have learned already that I consider to be certainties.

• Romance can blossom between two people who never imagined that they were one another's "type."  True love does not know money, does not concern itself with race, can overlook age, can transcend religion, does not comprehend stereotypes, and cares nothing about society's accepted gender roles.
• Responsibility is as vital to romantic relationships as it is to friendships or any other type of relationship.  And, like in friendship, you can only be responsible for your own actions, and must hold yourself responsible for your actions within the relationship.
• Responsible love demands honesty.  No healthy, responsible relationship of any kind can be built upon a foundation of lies and deceit.

Beyond these simple truths, I have learned some other things about relationships:

P52, Somewhat: My Twist on a Challenging Project

So, a couple of days ago, a fellow blogger, of Bella Angel Blog, put up a post about a Photo-A-Week project/challenge she will be participating in this year.  It's called P52 ('p' for project), and emphasizes that the goal is to make you "Practice viewing the world in different ways, and push your creativity and hopefully your skills."

Now, by no stretch of the imagination am I a "real" photographer.  I like looking at photography, but when it comes to taking the photos, I can shoot a hundred pics before I come up with one I like enough to keep.  My photographic knowledge is limited to my Kodak point-and-shoot digital camera, for taking pictures of my son, our everyday life, and for sometimes getting "artsy" enough to attempt to get a decent shot of my flowers when they are in bloom.  Beyond that, I leave most photography to the pros.

So when I read her post about starting the project, I thought, "Oh, I can't wait to see what she does for all these posts!"  And then I began thinking about how often a photograph has inspired me to write.  Those thoughts progressed to, "If a photograph can inspire me to write, why couldn't the desire to write inspire me to take a picture?"

Responsibility, Part I: Friendships

"But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."

~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

Although they are often neglected or taken for granted, friendships require a great deal of responsibility to be maintained and kept healthy.  Since you cannot control the actions of others, take responsibility for your friendships upon yourself!  If you act responsibly within your friendships, doing all that you reasonably can to keep them healthy and happy, then you will either have satisfying and safe friendships—or you will know, as you walk away from toxic friendships, that the source of the toxicity is not with you and that you are walking away to preserve your own well-being.

An Introduction to Responsibility

The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs. ~Joan Didion

Imagine the world as it would be if every person took responsibility seriously and was willing to accept responsibility for their every action!  What if there was someone, or even a group of people, who would accept responsibility for each of the world's problems...and who also accepted responsibility for fixing those problems?  Imagine how the crime rates would drop.  Imagine how governments would begin to run smoothly and without corruption.  Imagine how employers would begin to treat all employees fairly and equally and with respect...and those employees would work their hardest, produce their best work, never call in "fake" sick, and respect their bosses and co-workers.  Abuse of all kinds would cease.  All children would have a safe, loving home, and they would respect their parents.  The relationships between teachers and students would grow strong and develop mutual trust.

Business would flourish.
Education would flourish.

Government would flourish.

Families would flourish.

Mankind would flourish.

Our Earth, and all within it, would flourish.

All of this,
thanks to the responsibility of people.

[Guest Blogger] Friendship

This post was originally published by a fellow blogger, Sharra, on her own blog on December 6, 2011.  I thought there was a lot of truth to this post, and so I have asked her to repost it hear for my readers as well.

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What a crazy wonderful but sometimes horrible thing friendship can be. I have gone through many friendships in my short 32 years. Some of them were wonderful and still bring a smile to my face, while others leave me still feeling hurt. Through my years I have come up with a few simple rules suggestions truths about friendship. These come from my own experiences and may not all apply to you and your situations friends but I am sure you can still get some thing from them.

2012: The Year of Acceptance

It's that time of year again: the time of year where millions of people make New Year's Resolutions—promises to themselves or others about what they will change, do, or give up this year—and then break them within a sadly short period of time.

An informal poll of people I know reveals that most New Year's Resolutions fall into one of two categories:

1. to stop doing something that you no longer want to be doing, or
2. to begin doing something that you would like to do.

Resolutions in either of these categories—resolving to do something or refraining from doing something, or in other words to change yourself or your life in some way—are "Yang" resolutions, and they make up the vast majority of all the resolutions my friends and acquaintances have ever made...or broken.  I, too, have made my fair share of these types of resolutions in the past and, like so many others, have broken them and ended up more disappointed and joyless than before the resolutions were made.

Well, no more...

This year, I've decided to make for myself a resolution more on the "Yin" side of things.  My life is busy, full with parenting and work and friends and family and all those other responsibilities that come with adulthood.