Wiser By The Day

"I don't think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday."

~Abraham Lincoln

Well, Abe, I learned a lot yesterday after making a somewhat painful discovery.

That said, I started thinking last night about all that I have learned in my life as a result of romances and friendships, some of which failed miserably and some that fizzled out slowly and some that are still ongoing.  I'm not talking about those lifelong family relationships.  It goes without saying that you learn volumes from relationships with parents, siblings, grandparents, and other relatives.  Instead, my thoughts yesterday and today have been focused on those relationships that we form outside our families, often starting in preschool or elementary school.  Throughout our lives, most of us meet new people and form new relationships.  Some last only a short time while others last many years.  A rare few will last a lifetime.  But each and every relationship we experience, regardless of its duration, teaches us something.

Often, we never even realize that we're learning from our relationships.  The process is subtle, and it happens without us noticing.  Occasionally, the process of learning is painful, as when valued relationships end.  At other times, our awareness of this learning process can be quite pleasant, as when friends learn that they've grown to be so much more than friends.  Over the last few days, I've made the decision to be thankful for each and every lesson I've learned from my relationships past and present, both the good lessons and the painful ones.  These lessons are like gifts that enable me to live a better life.  And, as with any gift, I've decided I need to say "thanks" to the people who've given me these gifts of knowledge.

So, what follows are my "thanks" to a group of people who have taught me these invaluable lessons.

In no particular order of importance...

Thank you to Han Tran and Sammi Vise for teaching me that who people might appear to be on the outside doesn't necessarily reflect who they are on the inside.  You are both awesome, and I miss you.

Thank you to Sarah Cook, Sarah Pitts White, & Sarah Cabrera for teaching me that just being "Sarah" isn't enough to establish individuality, and that you have to make an effort to set yourself apart and display your own unique qualities.  This was an important lesson for me to learn at an early age.

Thank you to Anthony Bonnagio for teaching me that it is never a good idea to play Truth or Dare with pot-heads.  After seeing what happened to you, I'll know to never make the same mistake.  Haha!

Thank you to Ryan Burns and Raechel Fredrickson for teaching me that even people with very different world views can still be good friends, as long as they respect each other.  ♥ you both!

Thank you to a woman who I'll just call "Tess" for teaching me to be more careful who I trust.  I trusted you, and look where that got me!  Lesson learned.

Thank you to Sharra Clark, Richelle Torres, & Rachel Nichols for teaching teaching me that it is indeed possible for me to have female friends.  (Also, thanks to Sharra and Richelle for letting me borrow your wonderful husbands when I need a good handyman.  You gals are pretty lucky.)

Thank you to Tom Davis for teaching me that there are some friends who always come back into your life at exactly the moment you need them the most, like when you're going through a divorce.

Thank you to Matthew Nanny, Kelly Getz, and Daniel Williamson for teaching me the ins and outs of romantic relationships.  Thanks to the three of you, I learned what I do and what I do not want from relationships.  Most importantly you taught me that I am happiest single, and that lesson has brought me to the happy place in my life where I am now.

Thank you to Jack Jarrell for teaching me to value communication.  Simple things like phone calls are so easy to take for granted, but every time I talk to you I relearn that communication is so much more than speaking and listening.  Also, thank you for never allowing me to forget that I am a valued person in your life.

Thank you to Christopher Early for teaching me that, between best friends, there are no limits.  As I write this, the memories bring tears to my eyes.  We've been through far too much together to believe I met you less than six years ago.

Thank you to Amanda Smith for teaching me that a friendship can survive 8 years of dormancy and pick back up again, pretty much right where it left off.  You're an amazing woman, and I'm glad to be back in contact with you.

As I finish this post, I begin to see that my relationships have been more positive than negative.  I'm thankful for that, and I realize that I'm luckier than many people.  Overall, life is good.