There's Always A Reason [Follow-Up To Romantic History Blog]

After spending my evening last night with thoughts of relationships past, I thought to start my morning by finding something humorous to read about ex-boyfriends.  So began my search for funny quotes about exes.  What I found, however, surprised me enough to necessitate the writing of this blog entry.

So, what was it that I found?

I found, rather than a wealth of ex-boyfriend humor, the internet is flooded with sites promising to help you win back the "lost love" of an ex with hints, tips, advice, subscriptions and "foolproof systems."  Seriously?!?!

I was, once, friends with a woman who wasn't particularly outstanding in any way.  She wasn't all that smart, or interesting, or adventurous.  In hindsight, I suppose she was more of a friendly acquaintance than a real friend.  She never said much of anything of note, or much worth remembering.  But she DID have one phrase that she spoke quite often, and it was quite possibly the most wise thing I ever heard her say:

"Exes are exes for a reason."

I may not have realized it then, but she was more right on this point than I would have thought.  A quick look a my exes is proof enough for anyone!

The wannabe musician: Graduated high school when I did, and has done absolutely nothing since then! Has never had a job, never lived on his own, never furthered his education, never learned to drive a car....absolutely nothing!  He's still the same loser he was when I met/dated him 12 years ago!
The boyfriend-by-any-other-name: Graduated high school, got a 15-year-old knocked up, got a job as a corrections officer (a good job), broke up with the underage "baby mama," and has ended up back with the same sleazy girlfriend he had in high school.  He still overestimates his intellectual prowess, and is still as holier-than-thou and narcissistic as ever.
The fireman:  Has had several good jobs, but work seems to be the thing he is best at and the thing to which he devotes most of his time.  He's not a fireman anymore.  He's "pater non grata" in his daughter's life (a daughter who is the adorable product of a miserably failed relationship), and I'm not sure I can think of a nice way to explain his lackluster involvement....or, more recently, his lack of involvement....in his son's (my son's) life.
The Marine ex-husband:  Still a Marine.  Remarried, father of 2.  From what little information I have, he's still too much in love with work, and not nearly enough in love with family life.  Aside from this, I don't know much about his current life.....and I'm really not sure I WANT to know!
The Pool Shark:  This is the ex about whom I know the least.  Then again, I knew less about the Pool Shark DURING our brief relationship than I knew about the others, so I guess it makes sense.  Pool Shark had a great job, was a dedicated parent to two children, and was recently divorced.  It just wasn't the right time for Pool Shark and me.  I doubt there ever would have come a "right time" for us.  I'm sure Pool Shark is doing fine these days.  Sex and the City wisdom says that you mourn the loss of a relationship for half as long as the relationship lasted.  I don't know if this rule always applies, but it did in this instance, because I scarcely remember mourning at all the end of this month-long flash of romance.
The Chevy man:  Recently had a baby with the woman he's with now.  I bet he's so thrilled, since I know he wanted kids, but didn't think the opportunity would ever present itself.  He works hard, and is a good and honest man.  So, what was the "reason" for the end of this relationship?  We weren't in love.  Sometimes, it's just that simple.

So, "Who," you might ask, "was the person represented by the quote at the end of my earlier blog?"  Actually, it's not someone I've ever dated.  You might say that that affection has never had the opportunity to be expressed fully.  Honestly, that opportunity might never come.  I'm fine with it, though, for the most part.  I'm certainly not lacking love in my life these days.  Anyone who has ever been a parent should know that the love produced between a parent and child is immeasurable and is plentiful enough to fill the holes left by other hurts in the past.  There is nothing better in my life than when Kaleb decides he wants a Mommy hug....or a kiss, now that he's learning how to give kisses.  I don't need anything else!

Since all these other webmasters and bloggers seem to think themselves qualified to offer advice on winning back lost love, I have decided to offer a piece of my own advice on the subject.  All of my thoughts on winning back an ex can be summed up in one simple word:

"Don't!"