Wilting Lilies: Weak Women!

I find, lately, that I am completely disgusted by what seems to be a growing "trend" of weak women.  Nearly every day, I read Facebook status posts by women ailing from broken hearts and "can't-live-without-him syndrome."  There are news stories about women who stay with abusive husbands, not because they are scared to leave, but because they "love him," or they "know he doesn't mean it," or they "believe he will change because he swears he will."  I hear conversations (yes, everyone eavesdrops sometimes) between women discussing men who don't respect them, don't value their opinions, refuse to pay child support, don't help around the house, or are cheating.  Seriously!  What's wrong with you, women???

Aside from disparities stemming from anatomical differences, there are no significant characteristics preventing women from being as capable as men.  Don't get me wrong, I do believe that there are differences between the genders.  The point, though, is that none of these differences are great enough to prevent women from being able to live productive, happy, and healthy lives without "him."



So, am I saying that we don't need men?  Of course not.  Men are great!  They can kill bugs, move heavy furniture, take out the garbage, mow the grass.....and even help satisfy those sexual and maternal urges most women feel with varying frequency.  Really, though, men are an important and vital part of humankind, and I would never suggest that the world should (or could) operate properly without them.

My specific concern is with people (and this could be men OR women, I suppose) who base their own happiness and self-worth on the romantic relationships they maintain with someone else...and I see this occur far more frequently in women than in men.

So, your boyfriend/fiancé/husband broke up with you/left you at the altar/is divorcing you?  Oh, how very sad!  Now, square your shoulders, and realize that it's absolutely not the end of the world.  Sure, you'll hurt for a while, but your life is not over!  Have a good cry (a good cry can be an effective band-aid for lots of life's problems), and start THINKING about what comes next.  Having something to work for will speed up the healing process and keep you moving in a productive direction while your "heart" works through its sadness.  I get so frustrated watching friends and acquaintances make themselves miserable by continuing to pine away over the loss or the end of a relationship.

And then there are the women whose relationships are "VERY HAPPY!!!!!!!!!"  You know the ones I mean.....the ones whose every status post is a "shout-out" to Mr. Wonderful, the "love of her life," the "best thing to ever happen" to her, her "baby" or "sweetie" or "snookums."  They're the ones who seem to base their entire existence on this ONE relationship, this ONE person.  Ladies, if you want to occasionally brag about your wonderful man, go ahead and do it!  If you're my friend, I'll rejoice with you over the happiness you have found.  But if you're one of those who can't log onto a computer without posting a sappy, sugary, candy-sweet love note to your "honey buns" for the whole world to read....please know that your posts make me want to vomit repeatedly.  No, I'm not joking.  Call "sugar bear" on the phone, or text him, or send him an email.  Heck, wait until you see him again, and profess your love in any manner you choose!  But know this: most of the world has no desire to read your love notes on public forums.

And then there are the women who can't operate when the boyfriend/husband is away from them.  Blah!  "Well, Greg is out of town, so I'm going to be so bored and lonely for the next week."  Don't you have friends?  "I want to go see Chick Flick Blowout, but Mark is working overtime."  You know, they DO sell movie tickets individually.  Besides, there's a pretty good chance he doesn't want to see "Chick Flick X," and is working overtime to make a few extra bucks to spend on one of his own hobbies or to help catch up the bills.  And here's one of my favorites: "I can't wait for Brad to get home so he can take out the garbage/wash the car/do the dishes/etc."  I don't know many people who actually enjoy housework.  But, ladies, you are just as capable as "Brad" when it comes to taking out the trash, or washing the car, or anything else around the house.  And, while I'm thinking of it, ladies, learn to pump your own damn gas!

I make no secret of the fact that I enjoy being single.  But, in the past, I have also very much enjoyed NOT being single!  I'm not anti-relationship or anti-love, and I'm certainly not anti-men.  But I am glad that I find happiness in my life even while I'm single.  I have a wonderful family, great friends, and the absolute best son I could have ever imagined.  Good things happen in my life, and sometimes bad things happen too.  But none of that changes the fact that I am living my life, in the happiest and most positive way I know how.  I like me, flawed though I may be.  I like my life, imperfections and all.  And, even single, I am happy.