Flowers For No Reason Are The Best!

Flowers I received 10-25-2011.

I have the most amazing friends of anyone I know.  But one friend, in particular, goes far beyond what many others are able to do.  My best friend, Jack, is a man who was raised to understand the power of a flower.

In Jack's family, it was well known that his mother -- and later his sister -- deserved flowers for special days: birthdays, anniversaries, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, Christmas, etc.  And Jack's father, Darren, passed on this knowledge to both his sons.  Later, he imparted this wisdom on his son-in-law as well.

Over the years, Jack and his brother continued the tradition of giving beautiful gifts of flowers to the women in their lives.  They joined their father in surprising their mother.  Along with their brother-in-law and father, they would send flowers to their sister.  When Jack's brother, Darren Jr., became engaged, his future wife was showered with flowers from men all around the family.  She once told me that, for about 3 weeks after becoming engaged to Darren Jr., her apartment looked more like a florist's shop than a residence.

Side view of the flowers received 10-25-2011.

When Jack and I became friends, it didn't take me long to notice that the women in his life -- both friends and family -- never went a holiday or special event without an arrangement of gorgeous, fresh flowers.  And so, it was no huge shock to me when I received flowers for the first birthday I celebrated after starting a friendship with Jack.  What has shocked me, however, has been the frequency with which I have received these gifts from my friend.

I get flowers for my birthday.  I get flowers for Christmas and Mother's Day.  For Valentine's Day I get flowers, sometimes accompanied by balloons or chocolates or fruit.  I even get flowers for our annual Friend-iversary!

But more amazing than any of these is when I get flowers on non-days....days that aren't holidays or particularly special for any reason.  I get flowers, sometimes, when Jack knows I've had a rough day or when I'm not feeling well.  Other times, I get celebratory flowers when I've had a particularly great day or have had a small victory or success in some area of my life.

The flowers pictured in this post are flowers I received this past Tuesday.  The card said, "I thought going back to work after a nice 3-day weekend would be a let-down for you, so here are your favorites to cheer you up! Have a great day, and I can't wait to talk to you tonight!"

Perfect. ♥

Things I'm Thinking About

1.  Every single person I work with is grossly underpaid.  Even so, every morning we come back to work, and the majority of us have a smile on our faces.  By the end of each work day, most of us drag ourselves to our cars, wishing we never had to return.  Yet, the next morning, we're all back again with smiling faces.  Are we just the craziest of the crazy?  Lunacy is about the only explanation I can find for such numbers of otherwise-normal people being so willing to spend 180 days every year with children who don't care and dealing with parents who don't care.  Then we all report to politicians who have never taught anything.....probably even hired "other" people to teach their dogs how to not pee on the carpet....and have to live by their legislation of the educational system.  No wonder some of my 8th graders can't multiply 3 times 3 without a calculator!

2.  Why do older moms with one child often seem to think they know more about parenting than younger moms with one child?  Didn't we all learn it by experience, and often on the fly?  You don't know me; you don't know my child.  I'm not trying to tell you how to raise your child.  Leave me alone.

Parents Beware This Teen Alcoholic Trick!

With the abundance of candies available to teens and children of all ages this time of year, I thought I'd share this bit of info about a "new" trend spreading among America's teens: sneaking alcohol by soaking it into candy!

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There will never be a shortage of ways for underage kids to get drunk, and adults will always be a few steps behind. The trend of soaking gummy bears in liquor isn't anything new, but it had remained a secret from most people for years. This past week, news outlets across the country have been warning of this “new trend” of vodka soaked gummy bears, so I guess this teen secret is finally out.

Teens have been increasingly using gummy bears as a way of concealing alcohol from parents and authorities. By soaking the bears in vodka or rum, they are free to walk the streets drinking without having to sneak sips or hide a bottle. While the news segment's intention is obviously to make parents aware of this trend, they may have inadvertently introduced a great idea to a large number of under-age kids who were unaware of the idea. The YouTube tutorial has jumped from 17,000 to 50,000 views since this news clip went live.

Vodka is a powerful alcohol that no teen should be experimenting with, but many do in part because of its relatively mild alcohol odor. Kids think it's harder for their parents, police, coaches and teachers to detect and it's become even harder now that teens are concealing it in gummy candy.

Kids across the country know about it, and police said it's something parents should, too.

Kids are using this as a way to bypass identification of bringing alcohol into events and into school.

Stingy Jack of the Lantern

Last year, as Halloween approached, I wrote a blog post entitled "Halloween: Are You Being Tricked?"  It discussed many of the various beginnings of Halloween traditions and their roots in pagan holiday festivals.  It occurred to me today, as I am sitting here thinking what sort of face to carve into this pumpkin I bought for Kaleb, that last year's post did not include the Jack-O-Lantern tradition.  So, here it is!

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When we think of Jack-o-Lanterns today we think of the carved pumpkins with candles lighting them brightly from within; but did you know that the Jack-o-Lantern actually has deep historical roots and originally didn't even involve a pumpkin? The Jack-o-Lantern stems from an old Irish myth about a man named Stingy Jack.

Saw This & Loved It Enough To Share

“Forgiveness breaks the chain of causality because he who 'forgives' you--out of love--takes upon himself the consequences of what you have done. Forgiveness, therefore, always entails a sacrifice.

The price you must pay for your own liberation through another's sacrifice is that you in turn must be willing to liberate in the same way, irrespective of the consequences to yourself.”
― Dag Hammarskjöld

One Lie Wednesday (Vol. 3)

Most people who've ridden with me already know that I sing along to the radio.  And anyone who's been beside me at a stop light knows that I don't care who sees me belting out my favorite tunes!

I'm not sure how many people would know about the little black cat we had when I was married.  When we found her, she was stuck in the chimney of my then-husband's parents' house while we were there visiting them for Thanksgiving.  She was half way down the chimney, too scared to go down more and unable to climb or jump up.  The hubs and his dad managed to get her out.  When I first saw her, I didn't know if she was a black cat or if she was black from chimney soot.  A bath revealed that the black was natural, and we ended up keeping her.

So, the lie was the fact that stated that my favorite flowers are yellow tulips.  I'm sure my friend Jack knows my favorite flower, but for the rest of you, it's the Orange Satin Oriental Lily (sometimes called an Asiatic Lily).  They're absolutely beautiful!  Look:

Two Truths Tuesday (Vol. 3)

Fact 1:
I sing along with the radio when I'm in the car, and I don't care who sees me!

Fact 2:
When I was married, our first pet was a cat we found in a chimney.

Fact 3:
Yellow tulips are my absolute favorite flower.

As with each week, two of these facts are true and one is a lie.  See if you can guess which is which!  Post your guesses in the comments section below.

Are Intelligent Women Allowed To Say This?

Modern feminism has been alive and kicking, in one form or another, in the Unites States since those first bold few began to fought for -- and won -- womens' right to vote in the early part of the 20th century.  Since then, there has been one milestone after another, each one seen as either victory or defeat for the cause of feminine equality.  These days, "gender" is a protected class under the nation's many anti-discrimination laws, giving women of my generation access to opportunities that my grandmothers and their mothers probably could not have even imagined.

But have we gone too far?

I know I may receive some odd looks from my fellow women as a result of this post, but it's my blog, and I'll post whatever of my personal views I choose.

Let's face it: men and women are not the same.  This, of course, is not to say that either gender is any better, or worse, than the other.  It is just a simple biological fact.  Our bodies are built differently, and designed to perform different functions.  Our body chemistries are different.  Our brains work in different ways.  We have different strengths and weaknesses, that allow us to nicely compliment one another and create a diverse and productive society.

In general, men are physically stronger than women.  They are taller, hairier.  Historically, their physical dominance has put men into the roles of war-maker, conquerer, bread-winner, and head-of-household.  Men have gone millenia with rarely-challenged authority.  They have built nations, cities, and homes.  They created democracy and other forms of government.  They have founded religions, political parties, and universities.  They have made many of the world's most profound discoveries.

Women have traditionally been the home-makers, the child-bearers, the nurturers.  While men have been out running the world, women have been home caring for the next generation.  Women are primarily responsible for the continuance of humanity.  And while a woman does require the help of a man to give life to her children, that man was once the child born to another woman.  Women have founded charities, nurses armies of wounded soldiers back to health, and fed and clothed their neighbors in need, and taken in orphans.

If we are honest with ourselves, we see the evidence that even society realizes and acts upon the differences in men and women, sometimes even to the detriment of one group or the other.  Our military tries to keep women away from the "front lines" in war zones and they cannot serve on submarines.  Boys are often taught that showing emotions is "girly," and girls are labeled "tom boys" if they're more interested in sports than make-up.  We devote the entire month of October to Breast Cancer Awareness, but you'll rarely hear anyone mention the fact that men can be stricken with breast cancer, too!  There are numerous organizations dedicated to protecting women from rape, but men -- especially heterosexual men -- who report being raped are often ridiculed or thought to be liars.  News and society spend lots of time talking about the abundance of "deadbeat dads" without ever bringing up the numbers of women who abandon their children without support.

[Guest Blogger] Forgiving Those Who Are Unforgivable

This post was written by my good friend, Amanda.  Her previous post on my blog can be found here, and you can read more about Amanda and my other guest bloggers here.

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Someone I loved and trusted hurt my little ones. I was justifiably angry. I wanted to destroy him. I wanted to torture him. I wanted to take everything from him. I didn't. I went to the law and let the law take care of that person. My children and I moved on. It's taken time, but our lives now seem normal, and we are happy and safe again. It's been a long journey, a journey that really isn't over. The old wounds will be opened up occasionally in the future, but only slightly, and we'll be okay.

Its the person who hurt us that I worry about now. Will he be able to heal. Will he get the help he needs. Will he be able to have joy in the future. The wound he's made in himself will continue to be a deep one, I think.

This leads me to forgiveness. If I had held on to my anger, the wounds in all of us would have stayed open. We wouldn't be able to move on. We'd be frozen in the pain and past.

I don't know if I will ever be able to talk to him again, but I know that if that moment comes, I will be okay and I will be friendly. My life is no longer intwined with his, but I'm okay with him having happiness in his life. And I'm doing what I should do in helping him and my children in their healing process.

God bless you on your journey. I have left you in His hands. He knew what you would do. He knew what we all needed, and I thank Him that He will use your wrong choices to make us stronger and better people.

One Lie Wednesday (Vol. 2)

Ready for the answer to yesterday's post?

The False Fact was, unfortunately, #3.  I do make an effort to read blogs written by my friends, as well as a variety of others written by people I do not know.  However, sometimes life, work, and motherhood get in the way and I miss a post or don't read them until a week after they're written.  Darn all these grown-up responsibilities!

Two Truths Tuesday (Vol. 2)

Here we go again!  It's time for this week's game of Two Truths & One Lie!

Fact 1:
I was too sick on Tuesday to write this post, and so it is being written on Wednesday and back-dated to look like a Tuesday post.

Fact 2:
I have written something (a blog post, journal, letter, etc.) every day since May of 2005.

Fact 3:
I faithfully read all the blogs written by my friends.

Put your guesses in the comments section and check tomorrow's post for the answer!

An Appropriate Little Treasure

Today was a stereotypical Monday.  I woke up early, but couldn't shake off the sleep and get it in gear.  The extra things that needed to be done this morning went undone.  Kaleb woke up groggy too, and lazed his way through breakfast.  He was a sweet little guy all morning, but s-l-o-w.

We finally made it out the door, about 10 minutes later than usual, but luckily I usually have 10 spare minutes after getting to work.  So, today I just wouldn't have that extra time.  On the way to drop Kaleb off at daycare, we got stuck behind one of the slowest drivers in Pensacola and had to make our way around a 3-car accident.

I finally made it to work and signed in exactly on time.  My day was busy busy busy.  On my rushed walk between 2 of my afternoon classes, I came upon -- and nearly missed entirely -- a little "treasure" that made me smile.  And it made me think.

So what was my happy little find?