Cold Medicine Makes Strange Thoughts

Well, it's official: Kaleb and I are both sick.  I believe it to be my semi-annual sinus infection, and Kaleb's leaking yucky goo out through his ear tubes.  Fun, fun, fun!

Work Friday (yesterday) was a bad adventure of coughing and wheezing, and doing my best to make it through the work day without projectile sneezing or coughing on anyone.   I got home yesterday only to discover that Kaleb was coming down with the same brand of icky.  We both went to bed early and slept like the dead, thanks to the soothing effects of the best OTC cold medicines available.

Today, we have rotated through a looped cycle of sleeping/napping, snacking, and cuddling on the couch drowsily reading Kaleb's books over and over and over again.   Now Kaleb has gone to bed, and I've taken my dose of nighttime cold medicine: the kind with antihistamines and 10% alcohol, guaranteed to make you extremely loopy before it eventually knocks you out for the night.  As I lie here in bed waiting for sleep to come and take me away for another night of peace, my brain is running through any number of odd thoughts...thanks, in large part, to this heavenly cold medicine.

Remember when you were a kid, and you read the Dr. Suess book Green Eggs & Ham?  Well, tonight, I analyze my current state of poor health in a fun rhyme!

Scroll below to read my original adaptation of Green Eggs & Ham.

I call it "How Sick I Am," or, alternatively, "Green Snot. Damn!"

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I am sick.

I am sick. Sick I am.

So sick I am, So sick I am!

I do not like how sick I am!

Do you like this sickness ma'am?

I do not like how sick I am!

I do not like it! Damn, damn, damn!

Would you like it here or there?

I would not like it here or there!

I would not like it anywhere!

I do not like how sick I am!

I do not like it! Damn, damn, damn!

I do not like it at my house,

As Kaleb sneezes on my blouse.

I would not like it here or there!

I would not like it anywhere!

I do not like how sick I am!

I do not like it! Damn, damn, damn!

I'm using tissues by the box.

My feet are cold; I must wear socks!

Not at my house, not on my blouse

I would not like it here or there!

I would not like it anywhere!

I do not like how sick I am!

I do not like it! Damn, damn, damn!

It's no better in the car

Sneezing, coughing as we are

I can't escape this in the car!

I hope I'll heal soon. We shall see.

This sickness is bad for Kaleb and me!

I wish this illness would let us be!

I'm using tissues by the box.

My feet are cold; I must wear socks!

I do not like staying at the house

When Kaleb sneezes on my blouse

I would not like it here or there!

I would not like it anywhere!

I do not like how sick I am!

I do not like it! Damn, damn, damn!

The pain, the pain!

The pain, the pain!

Does your coughing

Cause you pain?

Yes, there's pain, for Kaleb and me!

I wish this illness would let us be!

I'm using tissues by the box.

My feet are cold; I must wear socks!

I do not like staying at the house

When Kaleb sneezes on my blouse

I would not like it here or there!

I would not like it anywhere!

I do not like how sick I am!

I do not like it! Damn, damn, damn!

Not at my house, not on my blouse!

Box after box, and three-dozen socks!

Not in the car, as sick as we are!

Coughing and pain, again and again!

I do not like it! Don't you see?!

I wish this illness would let us be!

I would not like it here or there!

I would not like it anywhere!

I do not like how sick I am!

I do not like it! Damn, damn, damn!

I do not like how sick I am!

I do not like this green snot!

Damn!