Remember the Victims, Not the Violators

Yesterday, the world witnessed yet another senseless act of violence in the mass shooting carried out at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.  I first began to see the news on the event while I was working at the public middle school where I am employed, and when I came home later yesterday evening, I found myself unable to watch the details unfold on the nightly news.  It wasn't only that I didn't want my own young son to hear the words "children dead" or "teachers killed" spoken repeatedly on the broadcast—although that was certainly a factor—I just could watch the video clips being shown over and over with both moving and still images of children running away from their school, crying and terrified, or parents being tearfully reunited with surviving children or being comforted upon discovery that their children had not been spared.  It is terrible.  It is heartbreaking.  It is horrific.  And I cannot begin to imagine the devastation of that community.

Unfortunately, these types of incidents continue.  I don't know what the solution is.  Is it more gun control?  More investment in identifying and treating mentally unstable people?  Arming school faculties?  More security at schools?  More religion?  Less press coverage?  All of these have been bandied about on the news after each terrible act of violence carried out against innocent people over the last several decades.  But to tell the truth, I don't know, and I don't profess to have the answers.  I don't think that I can find a perfect solution for senselessness.

Red Leaves of Autumn

© Les Taylor Photo (Thanks, Leslie!)

What exactly would be the seasonal opposite of "Spring has Sprung"?  I'm not sure what cute name it would be given, but I saw a lovely example of it today.  See, here in the South we have relatively mild falls and winters, and many of our trees never do the color change routine that is so common to places farther north.  To see a tree in full fall "bloom" is somewhat of a rarity here.

It rained—well, drizzled—for most of the day today. There was very little blue sky, and what did show was in little bits that were quickly swallowed up again with more dark clouds.

Shortly before our school dismissed today, the rain finally let up in that part of town.  As I was loading my bags into my car to head home, I glanced over at a tree in the center median of the faculty parking lot, and immediately wished I had had my camera in my purse.  There, in the parking lot of the school, one of our small and normally-green trees had burst into a full coat of red leaves for fall.  I took a picture with my phone, the only camera I had available, and wanted to share it here along with a poem I discovered a few years ago!

Mike Rowe Testifies about the Need for Skilled Labor

Plenty of people know who Mike Rowe is.  For those who don't, Mike Rowe is the host of a television show on the Discovery Channel called Dirty Jobs, on which Rowe travels around the country highlighting and testing out different "dirty" professions.  Episodes have included him trying his hand at plumbing, farming, construction, fishing, and many other jobs.

In May of 2011, Rowe testified before the U.S. Senate.  I only just now learned of this and read an article on his testimony.  He had some good things to say, and I want to share a bulk of it here.

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Testimony of Mike Rowe
Creator, Executive Producer and Host, Dirty Jobs

Mike Rowe's Testimony Before the U.S. Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation
May 11, 2011

"Chairman Rockefeller, Ranking Member Hutchison and members of this committee, my name is Mike Rowe, and I want to thank you all very much for the opportunity to testify before you today.

Our Teachers Are Afraid

Florida has long been a less-than-ideal place for teachers.  In fact, our teachers are some of the lowest-paid in the nation, yet they operate under some of the strictest scrutiny.  Micromanagement is an epidemic at every level of educational administration at the school, county, and state levels.  Gone are the days when teachers were made to feel as though they do an important job by educating our future generations.  These days, teachers are asked to do more and more with less and less and for smaller and smaller compensation.

This school year, the median salary for 10-month teachers in Escambia County is $40,187 (step 13 of 26 steps).  That may not sound so bad, but when you do the math, it gets worse.  Teachers in this county, on average, work 7½ hours per day at school.  While their contract guarantees them a duty-free lunch, high school teachers are the only ones who get that "perk" on any regular basis, meaning that they are on the clock for that 7½ hours each day.  Based on my own observation, I would say that it's not at all unusual for a teacher to spend 2 hours per night at home (or staying late at work) grading papers on weekdays and another 4-6 hours over the weekend.

$40,187 annually for a Step 13 teacher (32.825 on step 1 or 51.986 on step 26) (link) works out to a miserable pittance, once you take into account the hours that teachers spent "working" on their own time (working lunches, grading papers, and writing plans at home) during the school year and over the summer.  That is less than the average McDonald's employee (link)!  And those are the figures for a Step 13, veteran teacher!  Add to this the fact that teacher's pay is spread over 12 months, for most, instead of just the 10 months during the school year and you can plainly see that our teachers are being hugely underserved by the system that could not operate without them!

In addition to the low pay, most teachers spend their own money on work.  Teachers at several schools I know of each received a $100 budget this year to be spent on classroom and office supplies.  Teachers and aides also each qualify for up to a $250 tax credit on their annual income taxes.  Ask a teacher how much they spent last year on their classroom and work-related supplies.  It's very probable the number will tally far higher than $350.

And this is how our governmental system shows its appreciation for educators!

Accepting Un-Pretty

I spent most of my childhood being teased mercilessly by my peers, both at school and at church.  I have always been the fat, freckle-faced, redheaded, unpopular kid.  I didn't play sports.  I didn't have any particularly enviable talents  I didn't come from a "rich" family.  I rarely ever had more than one or two "friends" at any given time.  It didn't take me long to understand that I have never fit into the mold of what common society considers to be physically beautiful.  I probably understood this fact by the time I had finished elementary school—although acceptance of this fact would come much, much later.

As I grew into adulthood, I learned that it didn't really matter that I'm not beautiful.  I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm passionate, and I'm a hard worker.  I have learned that I don't need a hundred "best" friends, and I'm honestly much happier with a smaller, closer circle of genuine friends.  I have learned that who I am is good enough, and that I'm worthy of love and friendship and respect.  I've learned that I don't need to be beautiful, and I've come to realize that I'm not sure I'd even want the pressure that would come attached to maintaining a beautiful me.

Working around middle schoolers, these past several years, has given me the opportunity to develop an entirely different perspective on being "un-pretty" by watching it unfold through the eyes of my students.  While it's not something I point out to them, I have students who do not fit into the "beautiful" category.  Some of them may never fit into that category, and there's really nothing that they can do about it.  While the "un-pretty" seems to afflict both male and female students, it is the girls I worry about the most.

The problem I see is this:

When a girl goes crying to her friends, parents, or teachers, telling them that she has been harassed or bullied by someone who said she was "ugly" or "fat" or some other such derogatory term, it is almost always handled wrongly.  The first reaction or these friends and parents and teachers is to comfort the girl—and rightly so—and then to say something like "Just ignore them.  You're beautiful no matter what they say."

New Discoveries in an Old Routine

As I begin this post, it's 11:20p.m. on Tuesday evening, and I already know that I'll be dragging when the alarm clock starts buzzing in the morning.  But, I've had some thoughts circling my mind in a never-ending loop the last few days, and I need to get them out, so here I sit, on the couch, blogging when I should be already asleep.  Alas.

About 6 weeks ago, Kaleb was diagnosed with ADHD by his pediatrician and began taking a daily dose of Adderall to aid him in regaining control of himself.  To say the least, it feels as if our lives have been transformed.  It took a bit of trial and error to settle upon the correct dosage for Kaleb—just enough to get the job done, but not enough to turn him into a pre-school zombie—but when the right dosage was tested, it was like a magic spell!  He's not a perfect kid, and we still aggravate one another immeasurably sometimes (he's 3 years old, and we are both redheads), but pretty much everything has improved by the introduction of this little pill into our morning routines.

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Many people who know me already know that Kaleb began Pre-K 3 at Escambia Christian School yesterday (Monday) on the first day of the 2012-2013 school year.  It wasn't something I had really prepared for, and was arranged on relatively short notice—the reasons behind our withdrawal from Malena's Mini School will be the topic of another post.

My Apologies for the Neglect

As the school year winds to a close, I find that my days are so crammed full of activity that my mind needs rest at night and there is very little brain power left over for blogging.  While this leaves my dear readers with nothing to read, it also means that I have put myself in a position to have a certain job next year, and that's a big deal for me.  We have 14 days of school left, so please be patient just a little while longer.  ♥

Weeds

I'm not a person who expects to be surrounded by perfection all the time.  I mean, perfection is nice, but it's just not realistic to expect it all the time.  The yard at our house is a perfect example of this: the weeds that pop up in the yard don't bother me a bit.  But the last few days, as I would come and go from the house, I noticed that a rather large green weed was pushing it's way up through a crack in the sidewalk right beside my rose vine.  It bothered me, but I never noticed it at a time when I actually had time to stop and do anything about it.

And it's not at all uncommon for life to occur in very much the same way.

Regular readers of my blog may have noticed that there have been no new posts here since April 15.  For someone who had blogged every day of the year up until that point, a 17-day gap is sort of a big deal.  But my life, like the crack in my sidewalk, has been sprouting troublesome weeds of its own lately.

The weeds started when my most immediate boss at work arranged to take a leave of absence for personal reasons and then "resigned" instead without any warning or good-byes to those of us who worked for her, and with a barely-plausible story to the bigger bosses.  As a result of her departure, the teacher I work with for the majority of the day was given a temporary promotion to fill her vacated spot for the rest of the school year.  A teacher leaving the classroom meant that I got to go on a wild ride of substitute teachers in and out until we have finally found one who can stick around for the rest of the year.....I hope.  Shortly after, we got to live through the 2 weeks each year that are blocked out and rearranged for students across the state to take the FCAT standardized tests.  Additionally, we've gotten several new students into my classes these last few weeks, many of them bringing new and somewhat unpleasant challenges that I get to learn to cope with.  The former boss was also in charge of our school's Beta Club, and that has now become my responsibility as well.

Keeping My Word

At some point, we all discover that we have agreed to something without really knowing beforehand exactly what we were getting ourselves into.  I currently find myself in that very position, bearing the bulk of the responsibility for a student club at school that is limping along on a virtual life support system of parent enthusiasm when it should have been allowed to die long ago because of a near-complete lack of student interest.  Translation: this club now exists to keep parents happy, not because the students actually care.

Back in February, I was asked to pitch in and lend a hand with this club, at the time just to be a spare pair of hands for the teacher in charge.  But since that teacher's "unexpected" resignation, I have been placed at the masthead of this organization and have since gotten enough of an in-depth look at this group to see that the time has long passed for this club to be put out of its misery.

Let it never be said, though, that I did not carry through with my promise to carry this club to the end of the school year.  So, I will report to every meeting with a smile pasted onto my face.  I will organize every event with the dedication to detail that I would show to any other part of my job.  I will end the school year and will leave this organization poised to be taken over by the next person, with gears well-oiled and everything running smoothly.

While I have not always been able to make such a claim, I can proudly say that, these days, I am a woman of my word.

Privilege, Entitlement, & Pushy Parents

Today three intelligent, strong women (myself included) were defeated by one of "those" moms.  We had been resolved to a decision we had all but made final, and this one pushy mom managed to shove her way in and override us all.  You know the type: pushy, stuck up, and used to getting their way.....the kind who believe that everyone they meet is there purely to meet their needs and fulfill their every desire.  They're the types of moms who raise children who think they're better than everyone else.  They're the types of moms who believe that their children, though no virtue of their own, are better than everyone else's kids and deserve to be catered to.  They're the moms who want what they want, expect everyone to give it to them, and don't particularly care what sorts of hardships they create for the people who must cater to their whims.

I absolutely loathe moms (and dads) like this, and while I can paste on a smile and force myself to be civil toward them, they will never never never earn any genuine respect or admiration from me.

Working in a public middle school, it is extraordinarily easy to spot the glaring disparities between the haves, the have-nots, and the have-nothings among our student body.

The haves are usually the children of these pushy, privileged parents who raise their children to be sniveling, pampered, stuck-up brats.  They have name brand clothes, perfect acne-free faces (courtesy of high-priced dermatologists), and they win every form of popularity contest—prom queen, homecoming queen, student body president, etc.  These kids rule the school, lording over their peers with jewelry-clad fists and holding court in the hallways, bathrooms, and cafeteria where they are attended to by those on the outer fringes of their kind....the almost-haves.  The haves may not be the best or the brightest at anything, but their high-priced tutors and delusional parents ensure that their kids receive unwarranted recognition for even the most mundane and average accomplishments.

A Rather Sad Day.

At 8:00p.m. last night, I arrived home.  Work had been fairly awful, and Kaleb and I had gone to spend some time with good friends to try and salvage a positive end for the day.  For the first time in many months, I was simply not in the mood to write.  My spirit is slightly damaged, and I needed to head to bed to escape into a dream that has become a constant welcome addition to my nightly slumber.

I believe that my Facebook status update fairly well summed things up, so I will leave you with that for today:

"Today at work I learned that people sometimes drop a lot of garbage as they walk the path toward their happiness. Sometimes, I have been guilty of this. And other times, I have the arduous task of being put onto the chain gang responsible for cleaning up others' garbage and restoring things to the way they ought to be. It has been a disheartening day, to say the least, and I am glad it is finally over. I pray that the clean up will go quickly, before these shackles cut to the bone."

An Open Letter to the Author of "Nerd Girls"

Dear Mr. S.,

My main purpose in writing this letter is to share with you my thoughts and feelings during and following the assembly you recently led at our school.

Of course, I do not presume to speak for the other members of our school's faculty and staff. Even though I have had several conversations with various of my co-workers in the days since your visit to our school, and found some of them to share my opinions on your presentation, I'll leave it to them to share with you, or not, their thoughts and feelings as they choose. Every opinion shared in this letter will be entirely my own.

On Monday, March 26, our entire middle school began a “read aloud” of your book, Nerd Girls. At the start of each class period, every class in the school would be read the prescribed number of pages by their teacher before beginning the normal classwork routine. The premise of the book sounded like one with which many of our students would be able to connect. Sadly, before the end of page 1, you had drawn me into the protagonist's story and then alienated me again just as quickly. On page 17, I realized that this book was going to be one filled with filth and inappropriate words for no reason other than to add shock value to the text. My realization came after reading this bit: “He was the king of the practical joke. From covering the toilet seat with Saran Wrap when I was being potty trained so that the pee-pee leaked all over my leg, to turning my alarm clock forward a few hours every now and then so that some mornings I was up and ready for school by three thirty a.m., to putting spicy vapor rub in my training bra so that my nipples felt like they were going to burn off when I first started preparing for 'womanhood'...” (You know, you could have accomplished the same effect with itching powder in her socks or dog poo in her shoes.) I continued to participate in reading the book to my students, dreading your visit more and more with every turned page.

On the morning of Wednesday, March 28, 2012 (one week ago today), you made a visit to the middle school where I work in Pensacola, FL. To be honest, I had never heard of you until our literacy coach began to tell us that we were going to begin another school-wide “read aloud” and that the author of that book would be coming to make an appearance at our school. But with as many authors as there are in the world, this fact is nothing particularly notable. It sounded like a great opportunity for our students, many of whom are not afforded such special opportunities very often.

Milestone: Under 50

Today is the last school day of the 3rd grading period of the 2011-2012 school year here in Escambia County, FL.  Next week, schools will be closed while we all celebrate our Spring Break.  Then, when we return to school on the 26th of March, we will have only...

48 days left

until the school year is over!

This year has been so different from the year I had last year.  I don't know if this is because I'm more settled into the unpredictable nature of the job this year, or if it's because my daily schedule is so different.

In some ways, this year has been significantly better than last year.  I feel appreciated more days than not, at least by the teachers I directly work with.  Most days, I am able to leave work feeling as though I accomplished all I needed to during that day—unlike last year when I never felt like I was even approaching being caught up.  This year I've been able to get onto friendly terms with some of my co-workers, rather than just being professionally polite and making small talk.  I feel more free to be myself at work this year, and not as if I have to squeeze myself into the restrictive mold of predetermined expectations.

However, this year hasn't been all peach pie and picnics.  While I worked with only one teacher last year, I was able to learn her routines well enough to begin to anticipate what would be asked of me.  This year, working with many different teachers increased the time it took for me to learn these routines.  I have also had to be more adaptable throughout the course of each school day to change to fit the needs of the classrooms of these different teachers.  Moving around the school during the day has also increased my visibility within the school's faculty and staff.  Last year, there were teachers I never even saw....literally.  Now, however, most everyone knows who I am.  Sometimes this is great; more often, however, it just means more people scrutinizing my job performance and finding unnecessary criticisms.

Regardless, this school year is rapidly approaching its end.  Hopefully, budget cuts won't prevent me from still having this job next year.  And, if I am still working this job next year, there's no telling what my day-to-day will look like.  But that's all many months away.

Hello, Spring Break!

It's Pi Day!

Happy Pi Day, Friends & Readers!

Today, March 14th, is Pi Day....also known as π Day.  Why?  Because pi is an enormously long number, so is shortened to "3.14" for more practical use in teaching the concept to students.  3.14.  March 14.  Yep.

At school today, we are doing lots of fun Pi-related activities to reinforce this concept with our students: eating pi-e (apple and cherry) in homeroom, handing out pencils stamped with the first 60 digits of π, and watching videos schoolwide at the start of each class period—each with a song, poem, story, or historical fact about π.  Since these activities will be filling most of my day, I fear I won't have much time left for blogging.  So, today, I'm going to share with my readers some of the same information we'll be sharing with our students at school today.

A Brief History of Pi (π).

[Quoted from Exploratorium.com]

Pi has been known for almost 4000 years—but even if we calculated the number of seconds in those 4000 years and calculated pi to that number of places, we would still only be approximating its actual value. Here’s a brief history of finding pi:

The ancient Babylonians calculated the area of a circle by taking 3 times the square of its radius, which gave a value of pi = 3. One Babylonian tablet (ca. 1900–1680 BC) indicates a value of 3.125 for pi, which is a closer approximation.

Rhind Papyrus (ca.1650 BC), there is evidence that the Egyptians calculated the area of a circle by a formula that gave the approximate value of 3.1605 for pi.

(9Lo9i9D): 9 Things About Middle Schoolers that Confuse Me

Today's list is a list of 9 things, in no particular order, that I have observed about my middle school students.  These are things that I find absolutely confusing, and I am unable to understand them.

1. They think it qualifies as "dating" even when they can't drive OR pay on their own.
2. The boys don't seem to know their proper pant size OR the location of their waists.
3. The most popular kids at this school are also the one smost likely to end up in jail one day.
4. Boys think words are worth fighting over.
5. Girls think boys are worth fighting over.
6. They wear $100 shoes, but don't bring a pencil to school.
7. "He was looking at me!" is still a valid reason for anger.
8. They expect to pass without doing any work.
9. They don't understand why the staff keeps telling them what to do!

What about teens confuses you?  Were you the same way when you were their age?

The 21 Types of Middle Schoolers

What "Type" were you?

When I was in high school, it was very common for one group of students to label other groups of students: jocks, preps, geeks, goths, skaters, pot heads, nerds, hicks, surfers, etc. Right or wrong, we did it, and kids probably still do it today.

But now I'm an adult.

5 days a week, 10 months a year, I spend my workdays with roughly 900 middle schoolers. What I've learned being on the “grown up” side of a public school environment is that the students aren't the only ones doing the labeling. Teachers and other school staff label the kids too. We get to know these kids who are in our keep for 35 hours a week, and we learn their traits and characteristics. And based on what we learn about the kids or what behaviors they exhibit, we group them. Some kids get classified into more than one group, but I have yet to meet a student that defied ALL the labels.

So, here I bring you the 21 Types of Middle Schoolers, in no specific order:

Humanity & Poetry: My Ordinary Day

My day to day is generally
Fairly ordinary
I come; I go; Sometimes I stay a while
           in between.
Perhaps because I'm a writer, though
I see instances of poetry
In my ordinary day—
Not that perfect letter poetry
As might flow from the soul
          of one more literary than I,
But a style of poetry with a different soul
          and a life of its own.

I awaken most days
To a wet nose or furry tail
Tickling my cheek.
Then a musical "Good Morning, Mommy"
Follows soon after.
Through a rush of hair brushing
          and shoe finding
          and and the gathering of essentials
I move in routine to the soundtrack
          of a groggy cat
          and an impatient little boy.
And in those moments,
My movements make rhythmic poetry.

Stepping Back Into Sanity

Kaleb is home from a fun sleepover night at my mom's house, and I'm in much better shape than I was when I dropped him off at daycare yesterday morning.  Things had been a little tough lately, and I'm so thankful to have had a day to focus on me and to do some mental and emotional housekeeping.  As anyone who's a parent already knows, you can't be as good a parent if you yourself are falling apart!

A Rough Start to 2012

Back on New Year's Day, I resolved that 2012 would be my Year of Acceptance.  What I have discovered is that accepting things as they come my way means that I am unable to ignore them and simply hope they will go away.  Life has shown me that ignoring problems rarely solves them, and I'm also learning that facing problems head-on is both the most-productive and sometimes the most-painful way to handle them.  And I don't know about you, but I would rather just bite the bullet and get things over with than try to draw them out and deal with that dull ache over a prolonged time.

Several weeks ago, I had to take Kaleb out of the daycare he had been attending since he was only weeks old, a daycare that I once loved and highly recommended to others.  We've found a great new place, but Kaleb's adjustment to a new environment and my adjustment to an altered morning routine have been a little bit stressful.

Of course, there's also the ever-present stresses of parenting, not at all diminished by my being a single parent.  I love my son, and I love spending time with him, but it was begin to wear on me when I'm with Kaleb every waking moment that isn't taken up by work—except for the shorts drives back and forth between my work and his daycare.

A Quick Vote & Something I Wish I Could Say

Hadn't planned on posting tonight before bed, but here it goes anyway.

A:  A Quick Vote

After I picked Kaleb up today and before we headed for home, we stopped off at my local polling precinct to vote.  Today was the Republican primary in Florida, and I'm not a Republican.  So, what was on my ballot?  A question about whether or not I support continuing the Ad valorem tax for another 10 years to try and bring more jobs to the area.  Yup, that's it.  But I went and cast my vote anyway.  Voting is something I feel is my responsibility.  I also want Kaleb to learn the importance of civic duties.

B:  Something I Wish I Could Say

We all have those times when we hold our tongues because what we want to say is not something that we should say.  I'd say that the majority of these instances happen to me when I'm at work.  I can't look at a student and say, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"  I can't call a parent on the phone and say, "Your kid is a jerk and a nuisance who should be spanked or institutionalized (or both)!"  I can't say to a coworker, "Hey, why don't you try being useful for a change?!"  [Luckily most all of my coworkers are pretty great, so this thought doesn't come up often!]  I can't say certain things to my friends when I think they're mixing up their priorities, because I tend to value my friendships more than I value being "right."  But just because I don't say all these things, it doesn't mean I don't think them!  So, if I appear to be deep in thought, might want to think twice before asking me what's on my mind!

Parents Beware This Teen Alcoholic Trick!

With the abundance of candies available to teens and children of all ages this time of year, I thought I'd share this bit of info about a "new" trend spreading among America's teens: sneaking alcohol by soaking it into candy!

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There will never be a shortage of ways for underage kids to get drunk, and adults will always be a few steps behind. The trend of soaking gummy bears in liquor isn't anything new, but it had remained a secret from most people for years. This past week, news outlets across the country have been warning of this “new trend” of vodka soaked gummy bears, so I guess this teen secret is finally out.

Teens have been increasingly using gummy bears as a way of concealing alcohol from parents and authorities. By soaking the bears in vodka or rum, they are free to walk the streets drinking without having to sneak sips or hide a bottle. While the news segment's intention is obviously to make parents aware of this trend, they may have inadvertently introduced a great idea to a large number of under-age kids who were unaware of the idea. The YouTube tutorial has jumped from 17,000 to 50,000 views since this news clip went live.

Vodka is a powerful alcohol that no teen should be experimenting with, but many do in part because of its relatively mild alcohol odor. Kids think it's harder for their parents, police, coaches and teachers to detect and it's become even harder now that teens are concealing it in gummy candy.

Kids across the country know about it, and police said it's something parents should, too.

Kids are using this as a way to bypass identification of bringing alcohol into events and into school.