Remember the Victims, Not the Violators

Yesterday, the world witnessed yet another senseless act of violence in the mass shooting carried out at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.  I first began to see the news on the event while I was working at the public middle school where I am employed, and when I came home later yesterday evening, I found myself unable to watch the details unfold on the nightly news.  It wasn't only that I didn't want my own young son to hear the words "children dead" or "teachers killed" spoken repeatedly on the broadcast—although that was certainly a factor—I just could watch the video clips being shown over and over with both moving and still images of children running away from their school, crying and terrified, or parents being tearfully reunited with surviving children or being comforted upon discovery that their children had not been spared.  It is terrible.  It is heartbreaking.  It is horrific.  And I cannot begin to imagine the devastation of that community.

Unfortunately, these types of incidents continue.  I don't know what the solution is.  Is it more gun control?  More investment in identifying and treating mentally unstable people?  Arming school faculties?  More security at schools?  More religion?  Less press coverage?  All of these have been bandied about on the news after each terrible act of violence carried out against innocent people over the last several decades.  But to tell the truth, I don't know, and I don't profess to have the answers.  I don't think that I can find a perfect solution for senselessness.

Our Teachers Are Afraid

Florida has long been a less-than-ideal place for teachers.  In fact, our teachers are some of the lowest-paid in the nation, yet they operate under some of the strictest scrutiny.  Micromanagement is an epidemic at every level of educational administration at the school, county, and state levels.  Gone are the days when teachers were made to feel as though they do an important job by educating our future generations.  These days, teachers are asked to do more and more with less and less and for smaller and smaller compensation.

This school year, the median salary for 10-month teachers in Escambia County is $40,187 (step 13 of 26 steps).  That may not sound so bad, but when you do the math, it gets worse.  Teachers in this county, on average, work 7½ hours per day at school.  While their contract guarantees them a duty-free lunch, high school teachers are the only ones who get that "perk" on any regular basis, meaning that they are on the clock for that 7½ hours each day.  Based on my own observation, I would say that it's not at all unusual for a teacher to spend 2 hours per night at home (or staying late at work) grading papers on weekdays and another 4-6 hours over the weekend.

$40,187 annually for a Step 13 teacher (32.825 on step 1 or 51.986 on step 26) (link) works out to a miserable pittance, once you take into account the hours that teachers spent "working" on their own time (working lunches, grading papers, and writing plans at home) during the school year and over the summer.  That is less than the average McDonald's employee (link)!  And those are the figures for a Step 13, veteran teacher!  Add to this the fact that teacher's pay is spread over 12 months, for most, instead of just the 10 months during the school year and you can plainly see that our teachers are being hugely underserved by the system that could not operate without them!

In addition to the low pay, most teachers spend their own money on work.  Teachers at several schools I know of each received a $100 budget this year to be spent on classroom and office supplies.  Teachers and aides also each qualify for up to a $250 tax credit on their annual income taxes.  Ask a teacher how much they spent last year on their classroom and work-related supplies.  It's very probable the number will tally far higher than $350.

And this is how our governmental system shows its appreciation for educators!

Accepting Un-Pretty

I spent most of my childhood being teased mercilessly by my peers, both at school and at church.  I have always been the fat, freckle-faced, redheaded, unpopular kid.  I didn't play sports.  I didn't have any particularly enviable talents  I didn't come from a "rich" family.  I rarely ever had more than one or two "friends" at any given time.  It didn't take me long to understand that I have never fit into the mold of what common society considers to be physically beautiful.  I probably understood this fact by the time I had finished elementary school—although acceptance of this fact would come much, much later.

As I grew into adulthood, I learned that it didn't really matter that I'm not beautiful.  I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm passionate, and I'm a hard worker.  I have learned that I don't need a hundred "best" friends, and I'm honestly much happier with a smaller, closer circle of genuine friends.  I have learned that who I am is good enough, and that I'm worthy of love and friendship and respect.  I've learned that I don't need to be beautiful, and I've come to realize that I'm not sure I'd even want the pressure that would come attached to maintaining a beautiful me.

Working around middle schoolers, these past several years, has given me the opportunity to develop an entirely different perspective on being "un-pretty" by watching it unfold through the eyes of my students.  While it's not something I point out to them, I have students who do not fit into the "beautiful" category.  Some of them may never fit into that category, and there's really nothing that they can do about it.  While the "un-pretty" seems to afflict both male and female students, it is the girls I worry about the most.

The problem I see is this:

When a girl goes crying to her friends, parents, or teachers, telling them that she has been harassed or bullied by someone who said she was "ugly" or "fat" or some other such derogatory term, it is almost always handled wrongly.  The first reaction or these friends and parents and teachers is to comfort the girl—and rightly so—and then to say something like "Just ignore them.  You're beautiful no matter what they say."

New Discoveries in an Old Routine

As I begin this post, it's 11:20p.m. on Tuesday evening, and I already know that I'll be dragging when the alarm clock starts buzzing in the morning.  But, I've had some thoughts circling my mind in a never-ending loop the last few days, and I need to get them out, so here I sit, on the couch, blogging when I should be already asleep.  Alas.

About 6 weeks ago, Kaleb was diagnosed with ADHD by his pediatrician and began taking a daily dose of Adderall to aid him in regaining control of himself.  To say the least, it feels as if our lives have been transformed.  It took a bit of trial and error to settle upon the correct dosage for Kaleb—just enough to get the job done, but not enough to turn him into a pre-school zombie—but when the right dosage was tested, it was like a magic spell!  He's not a perfect kid, and we still aggravate one another immeasurably sometimes (he's 3 years old, and we are both redheads), but pretty much everything has improved by the introduction of this little pill into our morning routines.

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Many people who know me already know that Kaleb began Pre-K 3 at Escambia Christian School yesterday (Monday) on the first day of the 2012-2013 school year.  It wasn't something I had really prepared for, and was arranged on relatively short notice—the reasons behind our withdrawal from Malena's Mini School will be the topic of another post.

Remembering Bob

At some point, some person will become a part of your life for a short time, but will leave a very lasting impression on your heart.  This is an experience that most everyone will have, and it can be a unique experience, to be so affected by someone you've barely gotten to know.

This is the story of the brief time that Bob* was a part of my life.

From October 2006 to October 2007, I worked in the administration and monitoring positions at a residential facility here in Pensacola where newly-released inmates were court ordered to attend drug and alcohol abuse treatment.  Up to 60 of these clients at a time lived in our facility, taking part in individual and group counseling and working to get back into the job force.  Each week, some clients would rotate out and others would rotate in.  Though I spent 50+ hours a week working among them, I never truly got to know the majority of the clients as there was a need to maintain a clear separation between profession and personal life.

But, try as I might, I did still get to know occasional clients very well—nothing remotely inappropriate, but some of these people.....you just couldn't help but like them.  Yes, I knew many of the more troubling and disturbing details of their individual pasts, but I also knew that many of these people were struggling with addictions that had taken away their self-control along with their self-respect.  The majority of the clients were good people who had made very bad choices and ended up in very bad situations.  Then they had landed in our facility.

Keeping My Word

At some point, we all discover that we have agreed to something without really knowing beforehand exactly what we were getting ourselves into.  I currently find myself in that very position, bearing the bulk of the responsibility for a student club at school that is limping along on a virtual life support system of parent enthusiasm when it should have been allowed to die long ago because of a near-complete lack of student interest.  Translation: this club now exists to keep parents happy, not because the students actually care.

Back in February, I was asked to pitch in and lend a hand with this club, at the time just to be a spare pair of hands for the teacher in charge.  But since that teacher's "unexpected" resignation, I have been placed at the masthead of this organization and have since gotten enough of an in-depth look at this group to see that the time has long passed for this club to be put out of its misery.

Let it never be said, though, that I did not carry through with my promise to carry this club to the end of the school year.  So, I will report to every meeting with a smile pasted onto my face.  I will organize every event with the dedication to detail that I would show to any other part of my job.  I will end the school year and will leave this organization poised to be taken over by the next person, with gears well-oiled and everything running smoothly.

While I have not always been able to make such a claim, I can proudly say that, these days, I am a woman of my word.

Privilege, Entitlement, & Pushy Parents

Today three intelligent, strong women (myself included) were defeated by one of "those" moms.  We had been resolved to a decision we had all but made final, and this one pushy mom managed to shove her way in and override us all.  You know the type: pushy, stuck up, and used to getting their way.....the kind who believe that everyone they meet is there purely to meet their needs and fulfill their every desire.  They're the types of moms who raise children who think they're better than everyone else.  They're the types of moms who believe that their children, though no virtue of their own, are better than everyone else's kids and deserve to be catered to.  They're the moms who want what they want, expect everyone to give it to them, and don't particularly care what sorts of hardships they create for the people who must cater to their whims.

I absolutely loathe moms (and dads) like this, and while I can paste on a smile and force myself to be civil toward them, they will never never never earn any genuine respect or admiration from me.

Working in a public middle school, it is extraordinarily easy to spot the glaring disparities between the haves, the have-nots, and the have-nothings among our student body.

The haves are usually the children of these pushy, privileged parents who raise their children to be sniveling, pampered, stuck-up brats.  They have name brand clothes, perfect acne-free faces (courtesy of high-priced dermatologists), and they win every form of popularity contest—prom queen, homecoming queen, student body president, etc.  These kids rule the school, lording over their peers with jewelry-clad fists and holding court in the hallways, bathrooms, and cafeteria where they are attended to by those on the outer fringes of their kind....the almost-haves.  The haves may not be the best or the brightest at anything, but their high-priced tutors and delusional parents ensure that their kids receive unwarranted recognition for even the most mundane and average accomplishments.

A Rather Sad Day.

At 8:00p.m. last night, I arrived home.  Work had been fairly awful, and Kaleb and I had gone to spend some time with good friends to try and salvage a positive end for the day.  For the first time in many months, I was simply not in the mood to write.  My spirit is slightly damaged, and I needed to head to bed to escape into a dream that has become a constant welcome addition to my nightly slumber.

I believe that my Facebook status update fairly well summed things up, so I will leave you with that for today:

"Today at work I learned that people sometimes drop a lot of garbage as they walk the path toward their happiness. Sometimes, I have been guilty of this. And other times, I have the arduous task of being put onto the chain gang responsible for cleaning up others' garbage and restoring things to the way they ought to be. It has been a disheartening day, to say the least, and I am glad it is finally over. I pray that the clean up will go quickly, before these shackles cut to the bone."

Milestone: Under 50

Today is the last school day of the 3rd grading period of the 2011-2012 school year here in Escambia County, FL.  Next week, schools will be closed while we all celebrate our Spring Break.  Then, when we return to school on the 26th of March, we will have only...

48 days left

until the school year is over!

This year has been so different from the year I had last year.  I don't know if this is because I'm more settled into the unpredictable nature of the job this year, or if it's because my daily schedule is so different.

In some ways, this year has been significantly better than last year.  I feel appreciated more days than not, at least by the teachers I directly work with.  Most days, I am able to leave work feeling as though I accomplished all I needed to during that day—unlike last year when I never felt like I was even approaching being caught up.  This year I've been able to get onto friendly terms with some of my co-workers, rather than just being professionally polite and making small talk.  I feel more free to be myself at work this year, and not as if I have to squeeze myself into the restrictive mold of predetermined expectations.

However, this year hasn't been all peach pie and picnics.  While I worked with only one teacher last year, I was able to learn her routines well enough to begin to anticipate what would be asked of me.  This year, working with many different teachers increased the time it took for me to learn these routines.  I have also had to be more adaptable throughout the course of each school day to change to fit the needs of the classrooms of these different teachers.  Moving around the school during the day has also increased my visibility within the school's faculty and staff.  Last year, there were teachers I never even saw....literally.  Now, however, most everyone knows who I am.  Sometimes this is great; more often, however, it just means more people scrutinizing my job performance and finding unnecessary criticisms.

Regardless, this school year is rapidly approaching its end.  Hopefully, budget cuts won't prevent me from still having this job next year.  And, if I am still working this job next year, there's no telling what my day-to-day will look like.  But that's all many months away.

Hello, Spring Break!

Responsibility, Part VII: Workplace Behaviors

Back in January, I wrote a series of blog posts about responsibility, the first of which can be found here.  However, over the past couple of weeks, I have realized that I forgot about something that is a major aspect in the lives of most of the people I know: work.

Most of the people I know are not wealthy enough to stop working, not old enough to retire, and not lucky enough to have a spouse who can/will work 3 jobs simultaneously so they can sit on their fat rumps at home all day.  And so, most of the people I know work.  And for these same reasons, I work too.

But before I launch into a post centered around responsibility in the workplace, let me first share a bit of my own employment history.  I have had enough jobs to create a resume several pages long, and those jobs were a bit random and totally varied in their types.  Some of those jobs are experiences I look back at with fond memories.  Others are places in my past that I'd rather not spend much time thinking about.  Among the latter, you will actually find the highest paying job I've ever had.  During my 2nd stint working at Waffle House (most people working there have worked there more than once), during which I did double duty as cook and waitress, I brought in more income than I ever have with any other job I've held.  When I waited tables, I was good at what I did and brought home fistfuls of tips.  When I cooked, I was good at what I did and earned a grill bonus nearly every shift.  In fact, that one single year, I claimed more on my income taxes than most teachers at my school will be claiming on their 2011 taxes this April.

Yes, you read that right: Many of the people whose job it is to serve you double and triple mountains of greasy, Scattered, Smothered, Covered, Chunked, Diced, Peppered, Capped, Bitted, Spiced, Country, & Topped hash browns are bringing in MORE income than the teachers who work in our public schools providing students with the education necessary to keep them from lifetimes of serving  double and triple mountains of greasy,   Scattered, Smothered, Covered, Chunked, Diced, Peppered, Capped, Bitted, Spiced, Country, & Topped hash browns.

Workplace Email

I have a co-worker who doesn't seem to know the difference between a public post on Facebook and a mass email sent out to every person at our place of work.  It occurs to me that, perhaps, the etiquette of workplace emailing is not common knowledge, so I have decided to share it here in hopes that someone may be enlightened and cease bothering their co-workers with inane emails.

Do:

• Be professional with the type of language and vocabulary you use when sending workplace emails.
• Use workplace email to send specifically work-related emails to bosses, co-workers, and clients.
• Use workplace email to reply to work-related emails from bosses, co-workers, and clients.
• Use workplace email to correspond with other business contacts concerning specifically work-related matters.
• Only send out bulk emails when the subject matter contains work-related information which is relevant to everyone at your workplace.
• Use workplace email to send occasional work-appropriate emails to co-workers with whom you are also friends, even if those emails are not work-related.
• Use workplace email to share your personal email address with your work friends so that you may share personal emails with them outside of the workplace email system.
• Remember that, at most companies, workplace emails can be read by the bosses or other management any time they deem appropriate.

Don't:.....

(9Lo9i9D): 9 Things About Middle Schoolers that Confuse Me

Today's list is a list of 9 things, in no particular order, that I have observed about my middle school students.  These are things that I find absolutely confusing, and I am unable to understand them.

1. They think it qualifies as "dating" even when they can't drive OR pay on their own.
2. The boys don't seem to know their proper pant size OR the location of their waists.
3. The most popular kids at this school are also the one smost likely to end up in jail one day.
4. Boys think words are worth fighting over.
5. Girls think boys are worth fighting over.
6. They wear $100 shoes, but don't bring a pencil to school.
7. "He was looking at me!" is still a valid reason for anger.
8. They expect to pass without doing any work.
9. They don't understand why the staff keeps telling them what to do!

What about teens confuses you?  Were you the same way when you were their age?

The 21 Types of Middle Schoolers

What "Type" were you?

When I was in high school, it was very common for one group of students to label other groups of students: jocks, preps, geeks, goths, skaters, pot heads, nerds, hicks, surfers, etc. Right or wrong, we did it, and kids probably still do it today.

But now I'm an adult.

5 days a week, 10 months a year, I spend my workdays with roughly 900 middle schoolers. What I've learned being on the “grown up” side of a public school environment is that the students aren't the only ones doing the labeling. Teachers and other school staff label the kids too. We get to know these kids who are in our keep for 35 hours a week, and we learn their traits and characteristics. And based on what we learn about the kids or what behaviors they exhibit, we group them. Some kids get classified into more than one group, but I have yet to meet a student that defied ALL the labels.

So, here I bring you the 21 Types of Middle Schoolers, in no specific order:

Stepping Back Into Sanity

Kaleb is home from a fun sleepover night at my mom's house, and I'm in much better shape than I was when I dropped him off at daycare yesterday morning.  Things had been a little tough lately, and I'm so thankful to have had a day to focus on me and to do some mental and emotional housekeeping.  As anyone who's a parent already knows, you can't be as good a parent if you yourself are falling apart!

A Rough Start to 2012

Back on New Year's Day, I resolved that 2012 would be my Year of Acceptance.  What I have discovered is that accepting things as they come my way means that I am unable to ignore them and simply hope they will go away.  Life has shown me that ignoring problems rarely solves them, and I'm also learning that facing problems head-on is both the most-productive and sometimes the most-painful way to handle them.  And I don't know about you, but I would rather just bite the bullet and get things over with than try to draw them out and deal with that dull ache over a prolonged time.

Several weeks ago, I had to take Kaleb out of the daycare he had been attending since he was only weeks old, a daycare that I once loved and highly recommended to others.  We've found a great new place, but Kaleb's adjustment to a new environment and my adjustment to an altered morning routine have been a little bit stressful.

Of course, there's also the ever-present stresses of parenting, not at all diminished by my being a single parent.  I love my son, and I love spending time with him, but it was begin to wear on me when I'm with Kaleb every waking moment that isn't taken up by work—except for the shorts drives back and forth between my work and his daycare.

A Quick Vote & Something I Wish I Could Say

Hadn't planned on posting tonight before bed, but here it goes anyway.

A:  A Quick Vote

After I picked Kaleb up today and before we headed for home, we stopped off at my local polling precinct to vote.  Today was the Republican primary in Florida, and I'm not a Republican.  So, what was on my ballot?  A question about whether or not I support continuing the Ad valorem tax for another 10 years to try and bring more jobs to the area.  Yup, that's it.  But I went and cast my vote anyway.  Voting is something I feel is my responsibility.  I also want Kaleb to learn the importance of civic duties.

B:  Something I Wish I Could Say

We all have those times when we hold our tongues because what we want to say is not something that we should say.  I'd say that the majority of these instances happen to me when I'm at work.  I can't look at a student and say, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"  I can't call a parent on the phone and say, "Your kid is a jerk and a nuisance who should be spanked or institutionalized (or both)!"  I can't say to a coworker, "Hey, why don't you try being useful for a change?!"  [Luckily most all of my coworkers are pretty great, so this thought doesn't come up often!]  I can't say certain things to my friends when I think they're mixing up their priorities, because I tend to value my friendships more than I value being "right."  But just because I don't say all these things, it doesn't mean I don't think them!  So, if I appear to be deep in thought, might want to think twice before asking me what's on my mind!

Service to the Customer

Dear service industry employees, you need to learn a very important lesson: the customer pays your salary.  This is the most important lesson for anyone to learn working in any type of service industry.

Having been on both sides of the customer service counter, as a customer service representative and as a customer, I can tell you several things for certain:

• The Customer doesn't want to hear your excuses.
• The Customer doesn't care what else is going on in your life.
• The Customer doesn't care how much work you put into something if they aren't getting results.
• It doesn't matter if the Customer is right or wrong.  Either way, your job is to do everything in your power to make them happy.
• If the customer's satisfaction isn't your primary priority, you are in the wrong industry.

In the past, I have had multiple service-oriented jobs.  I have cooked and waited tables at Waffle House.  I have worked in a call center handling customer service calls for a major credit card company.  I have managed life insurance policies.  I have scheduled home security system installations.  I have sold and delivered retail auto parts.  I have been both a cashier and a customer service associate at a Walmart store.  While the specific tasks and responsibilities at these jobs varied, I was always, first and foremost, tasked with providing excellent customer service to our customers.

Education Begins In The Home.....Doesn't It?

At many schools, the first bit of the school year is the teacher's best chance to use classroom time to assess the skills of new students and review with all students the new skills learned at the end of the previous year.  Our school is no different.

This year, my 7th period class is Language Arts with 8th graders.  What follows is a retelling of an actual encounter I had with an 8th grade boy in this class today.

The assignment today consisted of worksheets with several sentences that needed to be corrected.  They were missing capital letters and punctuation.  There were misspelled words and instances of improper word usage.  Space was provided on the worksheets, and the students were supposed to use the spaces to rewrite the sentences correctly, fixing all the errors.  They had to do this on their own first, and then we would go over it as a class so that the students could make changes to correct errors they might have missed on their own.

A student raised his hand, so I went to see if he had a question about the assignment.

Happy School Year!

I'll admit it, I'm a complete sucker for the Frosted Mini-Wheats television commercials.  They're clever and adorable, and their "Your Eight Layers Are Showing" catch phrase makes me giggle.  They also do a great job at helping to bring attention to Kellogg's desire to give kids a filling breakfast and start their school days off right.

These little guys are always talking about having eight layers.  Aren't we all a little like that?   Perhaps not in the literal sense, but aren't we all composed of layers?  I am.  I am teacher, co-worker, employee, citizen, daughter, friend, and mother all wrapped in an outer layer of the complete "me."

The Mini-Wheats guy's newest commercial is modeled after a New Year's Eve celebration, where the little Mini-Wheats guys are riding to the first day of a new school year on the shoulders of the students.  They are discussing their School Year's Resolutions, to "keep the kids full and focused," and it got me thinking: Why don't we all make School Year's Resolutions?  I think it would be a great idea for any of us who are involved with kids or school -- parents, teachers, teaching aides, other school personnel, even the kids themselves!

I've decided to do it, for myself.  I've been thinking about aspects of my life, inside and outside of work, that are affected by my job at the school.  I know that making too many resolutions will make it harder to keep any of them and, therefore, make those resolutions more likely to be forgotten.

Shoe Collection Drive — A Last-Minute Request for Help!

Ok, Pensacola friends! I need some help, and I don't know why it hadn't occurred to me before to ask you all. This is extremely last-minute, so I understand if you aren't able to help out.

The school I work at is holding a Used Shoe Collection/Drive through Tuesday of this week. The teacher coordinating the event volunteers for an organization that distributes used-but-useable shoes to needy families as well as trying to help supply them to people around the world affected by poverty and natural disasters.

The homeroom class that collects the most pairs of useable shoes will win a pizza party.

Most of you know that I am a teacher's assistant working with ESE/Special Needs kids. Our homerrom is 14 students, half the size of the other homeroom classes in the school. More than half of our 14 students come from very-low-income families themselves. These factors usually put us was behind when it comes to making a difference through Collection Drives like this one, or the one for the Manna Food Bank that was held before Thanksgiving.

I fully understand that the purpose of this event is to help the less fortunate, but I also know the good that would be done for these ESE kids (who never win anything and are often picked on by "normal" kids) to WIN something! I'm speding the weekend going through my shoes, sorting out most of them to be given away. Since becoming a mother, my wardrobe has changed, and many of my shoes have been neatly tucked away, unseen, under my bed for over 2 years now. I'm keeping the ones I wear regularly and the few with sentimental value, but the rest are going to the donation at work.

If any of you have any used-but-useable shoes you'd be willing to donate, please let me know. I can pick them up from you tomorrow (Sunday) or possibly Monday evening afer work. Or if you're going to be in the Michigan Avenue area and would like to drop them by the house, that would be great too, and I'll happily send you the address!

Any size and style of shoe is fine, as well as shoes for all ages and genders. All that matter is that they still be in useable condidtion.

Thanks to anyone who can help!


Update:  We won!  Our class won with a total of 130 pairs of shoes, thanks in part to some of you!  The 2nd place class collected 42 pairs of shoes, slightly less than a third of what we had.  Thanks so much to anyone who contributed!

Thieves Should First Become Good Liars.

We have, in one of the classes I work with, a female student who is known to steal little (and, sometimes, not so little) things from teachers and other students around school.  While lots of people know she does this, it's hard to catch her with the stolen items in her possession.

For the purposes of this blog, I will call this girl "Jane," although Jane is obviously not her real name.  In fact, her name sounds nothing like "Jane" at all.

Today, during one of the afternoon classes, I was using a blue mechanical pencil to jot down some notes at my desk near the back of the classroom.  I was also watching the students to make sure they were paying attention to the lesson.  When I noticed some students on the other side of the room daydreaming, I set down my pencil and walked over to get them back on task.  I was still up and away from my desk a few minutes later when the class-change bell rang.

As the students were leaving the room, I walked back to my desk to finish making my notes, so that I wouldn't forget what I was supposed to be making notes about in the first place.  I sat down at the desk, but my pencil had disappeared.

Then I remembered, Jane sits right beside my desk.