Remember the Victims, Not the Violators

Yesterday, the world witnessed yet another senseless act of violence in the mass shooting carried out at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.  I first began to see the news on the event while I was working at the public middle school where I am employed, and when I came home later yesterday evening, I found myself unable to watch the details unfold on the nightly news.  It wasn't only that I didn't want my own young son to hear the words "children dead" or "teachers killed" spoken repeatedly on the broadcast—although that was certainly a factor—I just could watch the video clips being shown over and over with both moving and still images of children running away from their school, crying and terrified, or parents being tearfully reunited with surviving children or being comforted upon discovery that their children had not been spared.  It is terrible.  It is heartbreaking.  It is horrific.  And I cannot begin to imagine the devastation of that community.

Unfortunately, these types of incidents continue.  I don't know what the solution is.  Is it more gun control?  More investment in identifying and treating mentally unstable people?  Arming school faculties?  More security at schools?  More religion?  Less press coverage?  All of these have been bandied about on the news after each terrible act of violence carried out against innocent people over the last several decades.  But to tell the truth, I don't know, and I don't profess to have the answers.  I don't think that I can find a perfect solution for senselessness.

Conflicted Former Ticket: Romney & Ryan Offer Different Views on Election Loss

It's been slightly less than two weeks since the election that saw the incumbent Obama/Biden Presidential ticket win reelection over the challenging Romney/Ryan ticket, and already the vast differences between Romney's and Ryan's views on the causes of their loss are rearing their heads.  Much to my surprise, I find that Ryan, although I still don't agree with his politics, is not the scary Palin-like monster I was afraid he would be.

Paul Ryan has openly said that Obama's campaign "did a better job of getting the voters to the polls" and ultimately "won fair and square," according to the Journal Times.*

Meanwhile, Mitt Romney is quickly receiving criticism from all sides over his recently heard comments where be basically said that Obama only won because he gave "gifts" to minority groups.

On November 14th, Romney spoke to a group of donors, saying, "It’s a proven political strategy, which is, give a bunch of money from the government to a group and guess what? They vote for you."†  In the few short days since that statement, Romney has been hemorrhaging political allies as more and more noticeably distance themselves from his viewpoint.

Gay Men: Marrying the CRAP Out of Your Girlfriends

While my last post has taken off and gotten a lot of attention—both good and bad—I have realized that I'm due for a post with a bit of humor.  Too many people get unnecessarily and overly emotional about political matters, taking every differing opinion as a personal attack.

So, when I saw this posted on Facebook earlier, I decided it was exactly the spot of levity I needed tonight.

I have retrieved this video from the comedy section of the Huffington Post website [link here, opens in new window] where they had this to say about it:

"There may have been gay rights victories in Maine, Maryland, Washington and Minnesota this past election, but there are still states out there doing their best to keep couples from getting married.

For those states, the men of College Humor have an ultimatum: Let them get hitched, or they'll bite the bullet and start marrying your girlfriends.

They have a pretty solid case, guys."

Of course, it's well known that I already support same sex marriage.  This video, however, is pure comedic gold!

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Secession?

Earlier this evening, my friend, Tashina, posted a link on Facebook that took me to a petition being started on the official White House website, where people were signing a request to allow the state of Louisiana to peacefully secede from the United States and form their own country.  As I viewed the one-level-up home page of the petitions area of the site [click here, link opens in new window], I saw that there are identical petitions begun for many other states as well, including Florida!  Let me assure you, I have no interest at all in seceding and would find a way to move "back" into the Union if Florida ever did somehow secede.

It seems ridiculous to me how many people cause an uproar when an election doesn't go their way.  However, I don't remember hearing about hordes of "blue" states threatening secession when George W. was elected to a second term.  Whether you like it or not, President Obama won his reelection fair and square, taking the majority of both the popular and electoral votes.  More than half the people who voted chose to vote for this man, and those who chose not to vote at all forfeited their say-so in the matter.  So, folks, it's time to quit whining and get on with the business of finding productive solutions to the problems our nation currently faces.

Quite honestly, I have a feeling that those states would not really choose to secede if given the choice.  The costs would be too great, and they would just be hurting themselves.  As of writing this, these are the current states which have had a petition started on their behalf: North Dakota, New Jersey, Colorado, Oregon, Montana, Indiana, Mississippi, Georgia (although whoever stared that petition forgot to use a capital "G"), Kentucky, Florida, North Carolina, New York, Alabama, Texas, & Louisiana.

Here are things that I believe should be required of any state that wishes to secede.....

And The Winners Are.....

Barack Obama & Joe Biden!

As the numbers come in, it it becoming evident that the Obama/Biden ticket has won both the popular vote and enough states to secure the electoral vote as well.  The last numbers I saw had them with a 303 electoral votes to Romney/Ryan's 206, and a 2½ million vote advantage in the popular vote.  Of course, there are ballots yet to be counted, but I don't see any way Romney/Ryan could win this now.

4 More Years:

Yes We Did!

Update Sunday, 11/11/12: As of yesterday afternoon, Florida has been officially called for Obama as well, putting him at 332 electoral votes.  He won the popular vote in Florida with 50% of the vote to Romney's 49.1%, a margin of roughly 74,000 votes.

Women Who Want Equality But Won't Live It

To my fellow American women:  If you're going to keep demanding equality, it's time you start living it!

Let's face facts:  It's simply not fair for us, as modern American women, to demand chivalry and equality.  The two are almost entirely contradictory.  You cannot expect a man to think of you as strong when you cry out for help every time you are faced with a task that requires a tiny bit of grit.  You cannot expect a man to think of you as independent if you get visibly offended when he doesn't open the door for you.  You cannot expect a man to respect your employment income when you constantly assume it is his responsibility to pay for everything, on every date, regardless of how long you have been together.

If you want to be treated as equal to a man, then act as if you are equal.  If you play the part of the "weaker sex," you deserve to be treated as a weaker person.

Most often, I think about this when I hear about incidents of domestic violence.  I am not talking about those sad occasions when one person in a relationship is abusive toward the other, unprovoked.  That's wrong, regardless of who is the abuser.  Rather, I'm talking about those times when a woman hits, punches, or abuses her male partner and then has him arrested for assault & battery when he fights back.  Really?  How is that at all fair?

Ladies, it is no longer acceptable—really, never has been, in my opinion—for you to think that you can be physically violent toward a man and then expect to hide behind your femininity as protection from retaliation.  If you are tough enough to hit a man, then you better make sure you are also tough enough to take the hit-back.

In the end, I think that most of the focus of "Womens' Liberation" has been focused in the wrong direction.  We have come a long way toward equality, and we should continue to press onward toward full equality with men.  Along the way, however, I think we ought to be kind enough to liberate men from the unfair double standards of an outdated system of chivalry and "kept" women.

The Faces of American Presidential Hopefuls

As I've said before, I'm already certain who I'll be voting for in the November elections.  However, I got curious about who the "lesser" party candidates were, so I pulled up my sample ballot to have a look.  I know the options might vary some from state to state, but here are the 12 options available to me in the 2012 Presidential race (V.P. candidates not included).

Barack Obama
Incumbent POTUS (Democrat)

Mitt Romney
Republican

Mike Rowe Testifies about the Need for Skilled Labor

Plenty of people know who Mike Rowe is.  For those who don't, Mike Rowe is the host of a television show on the Discovery Channel called Dirty Jobs, on which Rowe travels around the country highlighting and testing out different "dirty" professions.  Episodes have included him trying his hand at plumbing, farming, construction, fishing, and many other jobs.

In May of 2011, Rowe testified before the U.S. Senate.  I only just now learned of this and read an article on his testimony.  He had some good things to say, and I want to share a bulk of it here.

==============================

Testimony of Mike Rowe
Creator, Executive Producer and Host, Dirty Jobs

Mike Rowe's Testimony Before the U.S. Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation
May 11, 2011

"Chairman Rockefeller, Ranking Member Hutchison and members of this committee, my name is Mike Rowe, and I want to thank you all very much for the opportunity to testify before you today.

Jazzing Up Presidential Debates

Did you think the Presidential and Vice-Presidential debates were just boring?  Lots of folks do.  Well, here are some videos created by a couple of guys who wanted to add some musical style to the debates.  Check them out, and let me know what you think in the comments section!

First Presidential Debate


Vice-Presidential Debate

Lots of fun!  Can't wait to see what these guys come up with for the next Presidential debate next week!

The Wisdom of the Heart

Throughout my teen years and on into my early adulthood, I was on an on-again/off-again search for something that would show itself to be spiritual truth.  Every step I took in researching various religions of the world too me farther and farther from the narcissistic, dictatorial, puppet master God of the Bible and closer to the ancient spiritualities of Europe and Asia.

While my studies of Buddhism were merely a stop-off on my journey, I find that many of the teachings of Buddhist leaders still hold, for me, some very perfect bits of wisdom.  Among my more favorite selections of Buddhist teachings is "The Wisdom of the Heart," by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.

"The Wisdom

of the Heart"
 from the

14th Dalai Lama*

Nobel Peace Prize Laureate (1989)

1.  Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.

2.  Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

3.  Sleep is the best meditation.

4.  Spend some time alone every day.

5.  We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.

6.  Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

7.  We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection.

8.  Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.

9.  If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.

10.  The ultimate authority must always rest with the individual's own reason and critical analysis.

*The 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, is the spiritual and exiled leader of the Tibetan people. Born in northeastern Tibet, he was recognized at the age of 2 as the reincarnation of the 13th Dalai Lama. After the suppression of the Tibetan national uprising in 1959, His Holiness escaped to India where he was given political asylum. Dalai Lama is a Mongolian title, which means "Ocean of Wisdom". "Dalai" means "ocean" in Mongolian, and "Lama" (bla ma) is the Tibetan equivalent of the Sanskrit word "guru", and is commonly translated to mean "spiritual teacher".

Our Teachers Are Afraid

Florida has long been a less-than-ideal place for teachers.  In fact, our teachers are some of the lowest-paid in the nation, yet they operate under some of the strictest scrutiny.  Micromanagement is an epidemic at every level of educational administration at the school, county, and state levels.  Gone are the days when teachers were made to feel as though they do an important job by educating our future generations.  These days, teachers are asked to do more and more with less and less and for smaller and smaller compensation.

This school year, the median salary for 10-month teachers in Escambia County is $40,187 (step 13 of 26 steps).  That may not sound so bad, but when you do the math, it gets worse.  Teachers in this county, on average, work 7½ hours per day at school.  While their contract guarantees them a duty-free lunch, high school teachers are the only ones who get that "perk" on any regular basis, meaning that they are on the clock for that 7½ hours each day.  Based on my own observation, I would say that it's not at all unusual for a teacher to spend 2 hours per night at home (or staying late at work) grading papers on weekdays and another 4-6 hours over the weekend.

$40,187 annually for a Step 13 teacher (32.825 on step 1 or 51.986 on step 26) (link) works out to a miserable pittance, once you take into account the hours that teachers spent "working" on their own time (working lunches, grading papers, and writing plans at home) during the school year and over the summer.  That is less than the average McDonald's employee (link)!  And those are the figures for a Step 13, veteran teacher!  Add to this the fact that teacher's pay is spread over 12 months, for most, instead of just the 10 months during the school year and you can plainly see that our teachers are being hugely underserved by the system that could not operate without them!

In addition to the low pay, most teachers spend their own money on work.  Teachers at several schools I know of each received a $100 budget this year to be spent on classroom and office supplies.  Teachers and aides also each qualify for up to a $250 tax credit on their annual income taxes.  Ask a teacher how much they spent last year on their classroom and work-related supplies.  It's very probable the number will tally far higher than $350.

And this is how our governmental system shows its appreciation for educators!

Why I'll be Voting for the Guy Who "Lost" the First Debate

People who know me know that I'm a committed liberal in nearly every way.  I dutifully tuned in to the first of the Presidential debates, which took place this past Wednesday.

I didn't expect that either candidate would say anything embarrassing or outright stupid.  I was right.  I didn't expect either candidate to say anything explosively wonderful.  Again, I was right.  In fact, while I didn't hear everything I expected to hear, I also didn't hear anything unexpected either.

I had already made up my mind to cast my vote for Obama in November 2012 just as I did in November of 2008.  That hasn't changed, and is unlikely to change.

Leading up to the 2008 election, I was heavily pregnant and excited at the prospect of bringing my baby into an Obama-led United States.  I cast my vote proudly at my local precinct, with one hand on my swollen stomach the way I imagined some good church ladies might lay their hands on their Bibles as they cast their votes for their chosen candidate.  That night, I stayed up later than usual to watch the election results roll in to the news networks, and I had tears in my eyes as I watched Obama officially acknowledge his victory.  I breathed a sigh of relief and watched as the monstrous Sarah Palin faded from all but the most radically conservative news headlines.

Less than 2 weeks after my son was born, Obama was inaugurated, and I watched the event live on CNN while Kaleb peacefully slept in my arms.  Again, I had tears in my eyes, though by this time I had decided that it was because pregnancy had forever ruined my hormones, leaving me vulnerable to crying over nearly anything at nearly any time.

Accepting Un-Pretty

I spent most of my childhood being teased mercilessly by my peers, both at school and at church.  I have always been the fat, freckle-faced, redheaded, unpopular kid.  I didn't play sports.  I didn't have any particularly enviable talents  I didn't come from a "rich" family.  I rarely ever had more than one or two "friends" at any given time.  It didn't take me long to understand that I have never fit into the mold of what common society considers to be physically beautiful.  I probably understood this fact by the time I had finished elementary school—although acceptance of this fact would come much, much later.

As I grew into adulthood, I learned that it didn't really matter that I'm not beautiful.  I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm passionate, and I'm a hard worker.  I have learned that I don't need a hundred "best" friends, and I'm honestly much happier with a smaller, closer circle of genuine friends.  I have learned that who I am is good enough, and that I'm worthy of love and friendship and respect.  I've learned that I don't need to be beautiful, and I've come to realize that I'm not sure I'd even want the pressure that would come attached to maintaining a beautiful me.

Working around middle schoolers, these past several years, has given me the opportunity to develop an entirely different perspective on being "un-pretty" by watching it unfold through the eyes of my students.  While it's not something I point out to them, I have students who do not fit into the "beautiful" category.  Some of them may never fit into that category, and there's really nothing that they can do about it.  While the "un-pretty" seems to afflict both male and female students, it is the girls I worry about the most.

The problem I see is this:

When a girl goes crying to her friends, parents, or teachers, telling them that she has been harassed or bullied by someone who said she was "ugly" or "fat" or some other such derogatory term, it is almost always handled wrongly.  The first reaction or these friends and parents and teachers is to comfort the girl—and rightly so—and then to say something like "Just ignore them.  You're beautiful no matter what they say."

September 11th: Fallen Heroes & Innocent Victims

What I am publishing here today is neither original nor unique.  We all know that there were nearly 3,000 people killed on September 11th, 2001.  It will be another one of those dates in history that people look back and can all very specifically say "I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when....."

In several places today, I have seen people posting lists of people killed on that day.  There were firefighters, police officers, paramedics, Port Authority, airline passengers, civilians on the street, military personnel at the Pentagon, and thousands of businessmen and women and children all going about their normal workdays.  I would say that most every person in the nation was affected personally in less than the standard "six degrees of separation."

The sheer numbers of people are shocking and tragic. Here I have combined all the (reliable) lists I can find.   The list below contains 953 names, representing roughly one-third of the 9-11 related deaths.  As you scroll down the list, allow yourself to take in how very long the list actually is.  Let us not forget that, while this attack changed our country forever, many people were affected on a much deeper level because of the loss of someone they loved.

An Updated Review of Malena's Mini School

In January of 2012, I was on the hunt for a new daycare facility for Kaleb and ended up deciding to enroll him into Malena's Mini School at their location on Pine Forest Road.

Although he had just turned 3 earlier that same month, he was placed into the "older 2s" class because Malena's promotes on the same schedule as the public school system and his birthday hadn't happened before the cut-off.  At the time, I was a little disappointed about that, since he was already fully potty trained.  Little did I know then that the "older 2s" class would be the highest level we would be happy with at Malena's.

At the beginning of June, the week after the public schools let out for the summer, Kaleb was promoted to the 3-year-olds class.  Since he was already fully potty trained, he wouldn't have to wait until the end of the summer for his promotion.  It was really great for the first week or so, but the newness wore off quickly.

While I am a very strong proponent of young children taking naps—Kaleb still takes one every afternoon, no matter what—I am no where near as rigid on this point as Malena (the owner) is.  She serves the children lunch at sometime between 11a.m. and noon, and then expects them to lie down immediately for a 2-hour-minimum mandatory nap.  Even though a 2-hour nap would be no problem at all for Kaleb at home in his own bed, the early time coupled with the distraction of being in a room full of friends made it very difficult for Kaleb to accomplish this napping requirement.

He began coming home with bad daily reports almost every day, and most every comment was centered around Kaleb not being compliant with the napping law.  To make matters worse, Malena herself told me that she was making that class' nap times, and my child in particular, her personal mission.  Her stern attitude made me feel as if I were in the principal's office all the time.

Red! Got A Late-Summer Makeover

Students and teachers alike just finished getting outfitted with new clothes for school.  Change can be a really good thing, and new clothes can be an outward expression of a renewed commitment or a new beginning.  In similar fashion, Red! has been given a new look and imbued with a new sense of commitment.

©2012,  Les Taylor Photography.
Used with permission from my friend, Les Taylor.

Over the past few years, I have had the opportunity to nurture my relationship with Jack—although neither of us knows quite how to label or characterize what exactly our relationship is.  Just over one year ago, Jack was given an amazing chance to move to Japan and accept employment with an architectural firm there.  Over such a great distance, and with the communicative obstacles that exist in our relationship when we are geographically separated, Jack and I have used written words (well, typed) to share with one another everything from personal successes and sadnesses to light humor and strange sightings.  My blog has been one of the tools I have used to share many of my thoughts, not only with Jack but with many of my other friends as well.

Just as a conversation will grow stale without new topics, a blog will grow stale over time without new content and new visual interest.  The new content was never really a problem, as I had blogged frequently up until this past April when I decided to take a break.  But the visual interest on the blog just wasn't there anymore, and the several edits and tweaks I had made were more bandages than permanent solutions.

Under the old design, even though the name was "Red!," there was very little of the actual color red to be found on the pages.  While I still think the old design was pretty, it didn't have any special meaning beyond that.  I began to wish that I could put some real symbolism into the design of my blog, something that could be uniquely me and would complement my text content.

Remembering Bob

At some point, some person will become a part of your life for a short time, but will leave a very lasting impression on your heart.  This is an experience that most everyone will have, and it can be a unique experience, to be so affected by someone you've barely gotten to know.

This is the story of the brief time that Bob* was a part of my life.

From October 2006 to October 2007, I worked in the administration and monitoring positions at a residential facility here in Pensacola where newly-released inmates were court ordered to attend drug and alcohol abuse treatment.  Up to 60 of these clients at a time lived in our facility, taking part in individual and group counseling and working to get back into the job force.  Each week, some clients would rotate out and others would rotate in.  Though I spent 50+ hours a week working among them, I never truly got to know the majority of the clients as there was a need to maintain a clear separation between profession and personal life.

But, try as I might, I did still get to know occasional clients very well—nothing remotely inappropriate, but some of these people.....you just couldn't help but like them.  Yes, I knew many of the more troubling and disturbing details of their individual pasts, but I also knew that many of these people were struggling with addictions that had taken away their self-control along with their self-respect.  The majority of the clients were good people who had made very bad choices and ended up in very bad situations.  Then they had landed in our facility.

Weeds

I'm not a person who expects to be surrounded by perfection all the time.  I mean, perfection is nice, but it's just not realistic to expect it all the time.  The yard at our house is a perfect example of this: the weeds that pop up in the yard don't bother me a bit.  But the last few days, as I would come and go from the house, I noticed that a rather large green weed was pushing it's way up through a crack in the sidewalk right beside my rose vine.  It bothered me, but I never noticed it at a time when I actually had time to stop and do anything about it.

And it's not at all uncommon for life to occur in very much the same way.

Regular readers of my blog may have noticed that there have been no new posts here since April 15.  For someone who had blogged every day of the year up until that point, a 17-day gap is sort of a big deal.  But my life, like the crack in my sidewalk, has been sprouting troublesome weeds of its own lately.

The weeds started when my most immediate boss at work arranged to take a leave of absence for personal reasons and then "resigned" instead without any warning or good-byes to those of us who worked for her, and with a barely-plausible story to the bigger bosses.  As a result of her departure, the teacher I work with for the majority of the day was given a temporary promotion to fill her vacated spot for the rest of the school year.  A teacher leaving the classroom meant that I got to go on a wild ride of substitute teachers in and out until we have finally found one who can stick around for the rest of the year.....I hope.  Shortly after, we got to live through the 2 weeks each year that are blocked out and rearranged for students across the state to take the FCAT standardized tests.  Additionally, we've gotten several new students into my classes these last few weeks, many of them bringing new and somewhat unpleasant challenges that I get to learn to cope with.  The former boss was also in charge of our school's Beta Club, and that has now become my responsibility as well.

A Beautiful Dream

For the past couple of weeks, I've been having the same recurring dream every night.  It has even popped up the couple of times I've gotten the chance at a daytime nap.  I've never really been someone who spent much time analyzing my dreams, preferring instead to enjoy them in whatever manner they present themselves.  On the few occasions I've had recurring dreams in the past, they would come once or twice and then retreat into memories.  Most of them I cannot even remember now.  This time, however, the dream is visiting me night after night, and I awaken with it fresh in my mind every morning.

Nearly 3 weeks into this repetitive dream cycle now, the dream remains so much in the forefront of my mind that I relive it even in my waking dreams (daydreams) in snippets throughout the day.

Although I typically don't read deep meanings into my dreams, I do believe that they are one of the tools our minds use to heal themselves.  In your dreaming world, you can do things that you can not—or would not—do in your real life.  You can have new experiences, attempt difficult tasks, and get closure for past relationships.

In my dream, I'm in a hospital waiting room.  I do not know why I'm there, or if I'm a patient or visitor.  So far, that seems to be irrelevant in my dream.  I'm usually sad, but not overwhelmingly.  As I sit in this room, people keep coming to meet up with me, to sit with me for a while.  So far, each of these people has been someone from my past with whom I do not still have a positive relationship (or, in some cases, any relationship at all).  In each case, the visitor and I talk about our happy memories and our past hurts.  Each of these conversations ends with us in tears, ready to let go of the pain of the past and part on good terms.

Keeping My Word

At some point, we all discover that we have agreed to something without really knowing beforehand exactly what we were getting ourselves into.  I currently find myself in that very position, bearing the bulk of the responsibility for a student club at school that is limping along on a virtual life support system of parent enthusiasm when it should have been allowed to die long ago because of a near-complete lack of student interest.  Translation: this club now exists to keep parents happy, not because the students actually care.

Back in February, I was asked to pitch in and lend a hand with this club, at the time just to be a spare pair of hands for the teacher in charge.  But since that teacher's "unexpected" resignation, I have been placed at the masthead of this organization and have since gotten enough of an in-depth look at this group to see that the time has long passed for this club to be put out of its misery.

Let it never be said, though, that I did not carry through with my promise to carry this club to the end of the school year.  So, I will report to every meeting with a smile pasted onto my face.  I will organize every event with the dedication to detail that I would show to any other part of my job.  I will end the school year and will leave this organization poised to be taken over by the next person, with gears well-oiled and everything running smoothly.

While I have not always been able to make such a claim, I can proudly say that, these days, I am a woman of my word.