September 11th: Fallen Heroes & Innocent Victims

What I am publishing here today is neither original nor unique.  We all know that there were nearly 3,000 people killed on September 11th, 2001.  It will be another one of those dates in history that people look back and can all very specifically say "I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when....."

In several places today, I have seen people posting lists of people killed on that day.  There were firefighters, police officers, paramedics, Port Authority, airline passengers, civilians on the street, military personnel at the Pentagon, and thousands of businessmen and women and children all going about their normal workdays.  I would say that most every person in the nation was affected personally in less than the standard "six degrees of separation."

The sheer numbers of people are shocking and tragic. Here I have combined all the (reliable) lists I can find.   The list below contains 953 names, representing roughly one-third of the 9-11 related deaths.  As you scroll down the list, allow yourself to take in how very long the list actually is.  Let us not forget that, while this attack changed our country forever, many people were affected on a much deeper level because of the loss of someone they loved.

Red! Got A Late-Summer Makeover

Students and teachers alike just finished getting outfitted with new clothes for school.  Change can be a really good thing, and new clothes can be an outward expression of a renewed commitment or a new beginning.  In similar fashion, Red! has been given a new look and imbued with a new sense of commitment.

©2012,  Les Taylor Photography.
Used with permission from my friend, Les Taylor.

Over the past few years, I have had the opportunity to nurture my relationship with Jack—although neither of us knows quite how to label or characterize what exactly our relationship is.  Just over one year ago, Jack was given an amazing chance to move to Japan and accept employment with an architectural firm there.  Over such a great distance, and with the communicative obstacles that exist in our relationship when we are geographically separated, Jack and I have used written words (well, typed) to share with one another everything from personal successes and sadnesses to light humor and strange sightings.  My blog has been one of the tools I have used to share many of my thoughts, not only with Jack but with many of my other friends as well.

Just as a conversation will grow stale without new topics, a blog will grow stale over time without new content and new visual interest.  The new content was never really a problem, as I had blogged frequently up until this past April when I decided to take a break.  But the visual interest on the blog just wasn't there anymore, and the several edits and tweaks I had made were more bandages than permanent solutions.

Under the old design, even though the name was "Red!," there was very little of the actual color red to be found on the pages.  While I still think the old design was pretty, it didn't have any special meaning beyond that.  I began to wish that I could put some real symbolism into the design of my blog, something that could be uniquely me and would complement my text content.

My Apologies for the Neglect

As the school year winds to a close, I find that my days are so crammed full of activity that my mind needs rest at night and there is very little brain power left over for blogging.  While this leaves my dear readers with nothing to read, it also means that I have put myself in a position to have a certain job next year, and that's a big deal for me.  We have 14 days of school left, so please be patient just a little while longer.  ♥

Weeds

I'm not a person who expects to be surrounded by perfection all the time.  I mean, perfection is nice, but it's just not realistic to expect it all the time.  The yard at our house is a perfect example of this: the weeds that pop up in the yard don't bother me a bit.  But the last few days, as I would come and go from the house, I noticed that a rather large green weed was pushing it's way up through a crack in the sidewalk right beside my rose vine.  It bothered me, but I never noticed it at a time when I actually had time to stop and do anything about it.

And it's not at all uncommon for life to occur in very much the same way.

Regular readers of my blog may have noticed that there have been no new posts here since April 15.  For someone who had blogged every day of the year up until that point, a 17-day gap is sort of a big deal.  But my life, like the crack in my sidewalk, has been sprouting troublesome weeds of its own lately.

The weeds started when my most immediate boss at work arranged to take a leave of absence for personal reasons and then "resigned" instead without any warning or good-byes to those of us who worked for her, and with a barely-plausible story to the bigger bosses.  As a result of her departure, the teacher I work with for the majority of the day was given a temporary promotion to fill her vacated spot for the rest of the school year.  A teacher leaving the classroom meant that I got to go on a wild ride of substitute teachers in and out until we have finally found one who can stick around for the rest of the year.....I hope.  Shortly after, we got to live through the 2 weeks each year that are blocked out and rearranged for students across the state to take the FCAT standardized tests.  Additionally, we've gotten several new students into my classes these last few weeks, many of them bringing new and somewhat unpleasant challenges that I get to learn to cope with.  The former boss was also in charge of our school's Beta Club, and that has now become my responsibility as well.

Red!'s 200th Post!

This post is the 200th post published on Red!  I'm so proud of me!

Today, as I'm busy making some behind-the-scenes corrections around the site, I thought I'd leave you all with a Top 10 Best Of list, naming the 10 most popular Red! posts to date.  Enjoy!

#10: The Slightly-Belated, Long-Awaited Proposition 8 Blog Post!

“Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license. Indeed the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California constitution the notion that opposite sex couples are superior to same sex couples.” [U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker]

That's right, the judge (rightly, I believe) has ruled that people cannot enact laws, even with a majority vote, that have no rational or practical basis and are based entirely on the prejudice of the majority against a minority group with a different belief set.

Keep reading --->

#9: Wiser By The Day

"I don't think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday." ~Abraham Lincoln

Well, Abe, I learned a lot yesterday after making a somewhat painful discovery.

That said, I started thinking last night about all that I have learned in my life as a result of romances and friendships, some of which failed miserably and some that fizzled out slowly and some that are still ongoing.

Keep reading --->

P52, Somewhat: Week 13, "Accessory"

This week's post almost had me stumped.  We have been given the topic "Accessory."

Let's face it: I'm totally not a girly-girl.  I don't wear make-up, I don't usually have the most trendy jewelry, and I don't really accessorize much at all.  I do own many little items that would qualify as accessories, but none of them were things that I felt were really all that important to me or things I thought would make a good photograph.  So when I hit that brick wall mental block, I did what any natural lexophile would do: I turned to the dictionary for ideas.

Here is what the dictionary told me:

That single definition lit up many areas of my mind, but it was this part that stood out the most: "Contributing to or aiding an activity or process."

I knew immediately what to photograph for this post.

50 Words I Love, But Never Get To Use

Several times over the course of this blog I have discussed being a self-identified lexophile (someone who loves words). As often as I write, however, many of my favorite works are simply not suitable for everyday blog use. One of the goals of any writer is to be understood, and using some of the words I know would certainly prevent many of my readers from being able to focus on the content of my posts, as they might become too distracted by the words themselves. Today, however, I decided I'd like to share my love of words with you, my readers. To accomplish this, I've decided to publish a listing some of the most wonderful—and most impractical—words I know, along with a basic definition for each. (For the record, even my laptop's spell checker doesn't recognize many of these words!)

P52, Somewhat: Week 11, "Nostalgia"

This week's P52 post topic was "Nostalgia."  I could think of plenty of things to write about, but they were all either quite mundane or were memories I like to keep to myself.  Then I was looking through some storage boxes, came across one very small item, and was stricken with a bout of nostalgia.  So I snapped a photo of that memory-inducing item, and here it is:

"Tiny Memories" photo by Sarah Getz for P52 Photo-A-Week Challenge, 3-12-2012

Just three short years ago, Kaleb's little feet were shorter than my fingers.  While I can't honestly say that I miss having a newborn baby, I can't help but look back fondly at where we've been.

P52, Somewhat: Week 9, "Distance"

This week's post topic is "distance."  I could think of plenty of distant objects the photograph: a setting sun, a tree in a field, a storm looming on the horizon, a boat heading out to sea.  And any of those shots, along with a multitude of others would be great practice for a photographer using this photo-a-week challenge to bolster their photography skills.  I, however, am not a photographer; and while I may see some improvement in my amateur photography skills by the end of this project, it is not my primary motivation for participation in this challenge.  Rather, my motivation for attempting this was to help bring some added variety and diversification to my blog and give me a chance to further build and exercise my writing skills.

So rather than deciding on what photo to write about, I decided instead to write about something that I could find a photo to complement.

What comes to mind when I think of the things in my life that are meaningful yet distant?

Jack.  Of course.

Friendships worth having require a great deal of shared work and mutual responsibility to keep them healthy.  And maintaining such relationships over long distances grows exponentially more difficult.  For it to work, you must care enough to work for it.

Frequent readers of my blog will already know who Jack is and how we met.  (If you missed that post, you can catch up here.)  Jack and I share a relationship that neither of us quite know how to properly label.  We are friends, for certain, but there is more too, and it is the addition of this "something more" that makes our friendship so valuable to us both.  And even over the 10,122 miles (16,290 km) between here and Jack's current home in Japan, that "something more" gives a reason to stay close.

Calling All Writers (or Wannabes)!

Back in January, I set a goal for myself to find more quality writers to guest post on my blog from time to time.  I'm so excited to announce that I have made some arrangements with my first new guest blogger just this morning!  I'm looking forward to bringing that post to you soon, but in the meantime it has occurred to me that I might have other friends/readers who'd be interested in writing a guest post or two!

Do you have a blog of your own and want to get some of your material in front of new people?  A guest post might be just the trick!

Do you enjoy writing, but don't have the time or desire to maintain your own blog?  Sounds like you ought to guest post on my blog sometime!

So, if you or someone you know are a writer (or if you'd like to try your hand at it), feel free to let me know!

Previous Guest Blogger Bios here.

Previous Guest Blogger Posts here.

P52, Somewhat: Week 8, "Color"

This week's post topic is Color.  Color is something that has always been important in my life.  As a natural redhead, I can even go so far as to say that color—specifically the color red—has been a defining force in my life.  So, when a friend suggested that I might want my photo this week to be a red-centered photo, I agreed and set my mind to deciding what to photograph.

Red hair?  Red shoes?  Screen photo of this very blog?  There are hundreds of red things in my life.

However, the "red" I see most routinely and noticeably lately are the glowing red numbers on the display of the digital alarm clock on my bedside table.  These glowing red numbers are the first thing I see every morning when it's time to get up and start my day.  More importantly, these glowing red numbers are the last sight I see before going to bed each night.

Many times I sit in bed, blogging too late into the night, watching the time ticking past on the clock and counting down the hours and minutes until I'll have to wake back up....using the time on this clock to determine how much longer I can allow myself to stay up writing and still get enough sleep to function as a mother and at work the following day.  It's not uncommon for me to see the time change from one day to the next before finally satiating by writing needs enough that I can get some sleep.

All Bottled Up

When we are children, we speak everything that comes to our minds with little regard to appearances or consequences.  It's natural for children to be this way, yet it is neither polite nor productive to continue this through out life.  So, as we grow up, most of us learn to guard our thoughts and police our words.  We may be given the freedom of speech by our country's Constitution, but with it comes the responsibility to speak with care.

The problem this creates, however, is in knowing what to say and what to keep back, when to speak and when to remain silent.  Sometimes, the appropriate course of action is clearly apparent—we cannot threaten others and we ought not spread falsehoods or half-truths.  Other times, however, the correct choice is not so clear:

• When those pants really do make your friend's rear end look bigger, do you tell her?
• When you can't stand a friend or relative's significant other, do you tell them?
• When you know information that could get someone into even bigger trouble than they might already be in, do you keep it to yourself or do you share that information?
• When you know something important, that would hurt the feelings of someone you care about, do you tell them anyway, or keep it to yourself?
  

P52, Somewhat: Week 7, "Love"

It's hardly surprising that the P52 topic this week was "love," being that this is the week of Valentine's Day.  I have plenty of things I love: my little boy, family, friends, pets, books, shoes, chocolate....the list goes on and on.  I could think of plenty of things to photograph for this week, from the mundane to the extraordinary and from cliché to unique.  But I couldn't narrow down my options and decide what sort of photo I wanted to take!

To: Minha ruiva! [My redhead!]
Love: Seu devoto! [Your devoted!]
(Brazilian Portuguese [English])

But today, my sweet Jack solved the question for me, sending me a gift with a story.

Most people who read my blog have heard of Jack.  He's my....well, I don't know exactly what to call our type of "us-ness"....but there's definitely something here.  He's my friend; he's the person who knows every single one of my secrets; he's the first person I want to talk to when I've had a bad day, or a good day, or a day that's notable for any reason at all.  I could spend all night extolling the virtues of Jack, but that is not the purpose of this post.

♫♪ Let's start at the very beginning....♫♪

In December of 2002, I was married to a guy in the Marine Corps and we were living in Ramona, CA just north of MCAS Miramar where my then-husband was stationed.  Several of the other kid-free military wives in our apartment complex had begun volunteering at a V.A.-run recovery center in downtown San Diego where a number of recently-wounded Marines were living while undergoing extensive physical therapies for a range of injuries.  The other wives invited me to come along with them, and it sounded like a worthwhile cause, so I went.

Humanity & Poetry: My Ordinary Day

My day to day is generally
Fairly ordinary
I come; I go; Sometimes I stay a while
           in between.
Perhaps because I'm a writer, though
I see instances of poetry
In my ordinary day—
Not that perfect letter poetry
As might flow from the soul
          of one more literary than I,
But a style of poetry with a different soul
          and a life of its own.

I awaken most days
To a wet nose or furry tail
Tickling my cheek.
Then a musical "Good Morning, Mommy"
Follows soon after.
Through a rush of hair brushing
          and shoe finding
          and and the gathering of essentials
I move in routine to the soundtrack
          of a groggy cat
          and an impatient little boy.
And in those moments,
My movements make rhythmic poetry.

P52, Somewhat: Week 6, "Texture"

Monday, January 23, 2012 marked 9 years since I met my friend, Jack.  As he does on many holidays and special days, Jack had a gorgeous flower arrangement delivered to me at work.  I kept them at work to show off and admire all week, then took them home on Friday afternoon to enjoy them longer (they usually last a couple of weeks).

It was nice to have the flowers at work all that week, giving me something to jump-start happy thoughts during the occasional low points in my days.  It struck me how many of life's situations we tend to describe using "texture" words.

• Work was tough today.

• This car has a smooth ride.

• Marriage is a bumpy road.

• Single parenting is rough.

Friendship is another situation we describe with many words, and the descriptions can change over time.  The friendships that last the longest seem to be the ones that make it down the bumpy roads, past the rough times, and into a smooth comfortable closeness...never giving up when the going gets tough.  I have been lucky enough, in my life, to have had a cherished few friendships like this.  I have some amazing friends who have shared the good and the bad with me, and who have remained my faithful friends though it all.

Red! Blog: New Features & 2012 Goals!

This past week has seen several changes to Red!, and I wanted to tell you all a little bit about them as well as my goals for Red! during the rest of 2012.

The Red! Main Blog

This is where it all started. Things are basically the same, but I'll be posting much more frequently this year than in the past.  I've been on a bit of a blogging spree so far this year, and even if it wanes a bit, my goal is to maintain at least 2 posts a week.

Red!'s Family-Friendly Recipes Blog

In August of 2010, I began to notice that around dinner time every night my Facebook news feed would be filled with friends who had run out of new ideas for family dinners and fallen into a rut, eating the same old tired foods over and over again every night.  So, I launched this recipe blog to facilitate the sharing of family-tested and -approved recipes.

Quote of the Day has replaced Red!'s Life Lessons.

Life lessons started out as something that really excited me.  I had planned to micro-blog each day, telling of the lessons I learned each day just by living my life.  Unfortunately, my days tend to be more routine than I realized, filled with quick lessons specific to my life that were not noteworthy enough to blog.  Because of this, that blog went dormant after only about a half-dozen posts.  But something I do hear each day is at least one quote worthy of sharing, hence the new—and much shorter—Quote of the Day format.

P52, Somewhat: Week 5, "Self"

What a tough topic "Self" has turned out to be this week.  You see, to take a photo of your "self," you must first understand who your "self" is—and that is something that can be quite a challenge for anyone.

What I've decided about myself is this: I'm a person who constantly looks back.

•  I look back at past friendships, to learn what went wrong and why and how better to take care of my important friendships and other relationships now and in the future.

•  I look back at past romances, to learn where my priorities are and what I want and need from that sort of relationship.

•  I look back at past jobs to learn what about them made me happy and what made me miserable, what gave me a sense of purpose and what seemed frustratingly impossible.

•  I look back—to past joys and hurts, frivolities and losses, successes and failures—to learn how to move forward without repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

I look back.  Looking back allows me to be a better mother, a better friend, a better daughter, a better teacher, a better co-worker, a better citizen.....in general, a better person.  Looking back helps me to accept my flaws by showing me that, even though I have always been flawed, I have still had successes.  Looking back helps me to see that I am a person worthy of happiness and love and contentment.

Looking back gives me the tools and the wisdom I need to move forward.

And so, I look back.

Catharsis

Some days, some hours, some moments, life can take a downward spiral and end up leaving us broken, defeated, and demoralized.  These descents into emotional desolation can be provoked by situations, places, people, or occurrences—and once the declivity begins, you can feel powerless against it, completely incapable of halting the fall or preventing the impending crash.

And when we reach that low point, we all need some form of cathartic release to counteract the onset of despair and depression.

Some find catharsis in drugs, alcohol, and cutting—effectively trading one form of negativity for another, without getting any closer to a healthy management of their inner demons.  Some, having been clinically diagnosed with some variety of mental instability, are able to find catharsis only in psychotropics....and some make use of psychotropics without an accompanying diagnosis.

But, for the vast majority of us, release is something we achieve either within ourselves or by performing some ritualistic activity that has the ability to absorb the dismal feelings and contain them safely.

P52, Somewhat: Week 4, "Animal"

I am the mother of a 3-year-old. And my 3-year-old, like most other children his age, is absolutely fascinated with animals. Cats, dogs, gerbils, cows, giraffes, fish—if it's an animal, he's interested. So when I saw that this week's photo topic was "animal," I knew that my subject for the photo would likely be something that is already a part of Kaleb's life. I began a few weeks early, snapping pictures of our family's pet cat and gerbils, as well as any number of Kaleb's favorite stuffed animals left lying around the house.

And in the process, I came up with many shots I liked.

But none that I quite wanted to post for this week's P52.

On January 14, my mom and I took Kaleb to the Pensacola Civic Center to see the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus. The troupe touring in our area is presenting a show called "Bash," which had an hour-long pre-show event open to all ticket holders. We got to go down on the show floor, meet some performers, and Kaleb got to be part of several activities to make kids feel like part of the show.

During the course of the pre-show, they were encouraging people to sign up for a raffle, for which the prize would be a free elephant footprint.  We put a couple of entries into the box, and thought it might be pretty fun if Kaleb were to win one.  What hadn't occurred to me was when exactly they were going to make the footprint.  Not until, while we were sitting around the ring on the circus floor, several of the circus performers rolled out a cart with some trays of watered-down paint and began to spread a drop cloth on the ground.  I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see a trainer leading an elephant into the ring.  She walked the elephant around the perimeter of the ring so all the spectators sitting there could wave hello.

Kaleb was stunned into a paralyzed silence.  He didn't move.  He didn't speak.  He was simply amazed to be so close to such a giant animal—the M.C. said she weighed 7,000-ish lbs!  After he recovered form the initial amazement, Kaleb got excited and began to laugh and clap and chatter along with everyone else.  We watched as several performers helped to coordinate the making of elephant footprints, and then they escorted the elephant back to her area backstage.

Long-Lost, Well-Loved Essay

When I was in high school, I came across a beautifully-written essay that was an expansion of the definition of "Unconditional Love."  I painstakingly retyped that essay back then and carried it around school in my binder.  It's typical for teen-aged girls to daydream romantic notions, and I was no different.  At that time, I thought this essay was the most romantic thing I had ever read, in addition to being filled with beautiful words—and we've established in previous posts that, by this point in my life, I had already become a lexophile.

As I've grown up, I've thought back to that essay many times, wishing I hadn't lost that single typed copy and wishing I could piece together enough of the words from memory to find it again using an internet search engine.  I've grown to learn that the words and sentiments I once thought to be so romantic are so very much more than romantic; indeed, they are words that can be applied to our friends, our families, and the people around us in our everyday lives.  There are so many kinds of love, and I've come to understand that the overwhelming majority of these do not have anything at all to do with romance.

Today, I finally remembered the right combination of words and was able to locate that essay again!  I'm so happy to be able to reread these words, and fill in the gaps in my memory.  The words are as beautiful as they were to me some 15 years ago, perhaps even more so now that I have learned to see their deeper meaning.

In order to never again lose this essay, and also to share with my readers, I've decided to post the work here in its entirety, with proper credit given to the author whose name I never knew until an hour ago.

What a lovely world it would be if we all learned to apply this definition of "Unconditional Love" to our interactions with the people in our lives, both those we hold dear and those whose paths we cross only briefly.