Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
~Erica Jong
Whether or not you choose to admit or acknowledge, you are responsible for yourself and your actions. You are also responsible for the results of your actions. It's called personal responsibility, and you can ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist, but you can never truly run from it. It goes everywhere with you, through every phase of your life. As a child, your personal responsibility is limited, partially falling upon your parents or guardians. As you grow up, however, the balance shifts until, as an adult, you bear the full responsibility for your actions, abilities, and attitudes.
Since there seems to be a pandemic of people who seem not to have a clue what it means to accept personal responsibility for anything, I thought I would take a brief look at the concept in this post.
"Personal Responsibility:
There is only one person responsible for your life and the vocation you have chosen. That person is the one you see in the mirror in the morning when you wake up. Don't blame God, your boss, your parents, your former teachers, your coach, your co-workers or your dog. You and only you are responsible for your work life and what you have achieved. The sooner you accept this notion, the sooner you will begin to make changes that lead to a happier and more productive life and career."
There is only one person responsible for your life and the vocation you have chosen. That person is the one you see in the mirror in the morning when you wake up. Don't blame God, your boss, your parents, your former teachers, your coach, your co-workers or your dog. You and only you are responsible for your work life and what you have achieved. The sooner you accept this notion, the sooner you will begin to make changes that lead to a happier and more productive life and career."
(Quoted from this site.)
The first step to accepting personal responsibility is to accept that sometimes you are wrong. No one can be right all the time, and that's ok. It's a part of being human, a part of life, and something that happens to everyone from time to time. What matters far more is how you handle yourself when you discover (or are shown) that you are in the wrong. Being wrong is not, in itself, anything worth shame, and so you must be willing to admit when you are wrong.
Next, you must be willing to admit when you are at fault, whether you are partly or wholly to blame for something that has happened. Being at-fault and being wrong are similar, but I don't see them as the same thing. You can be wrong without necessarily causing a problem and without creating a situation that assigns fault to any one person or group of people. When you discover you are wrong, and correct yourself or your decisions, you can sometimes avoid winding up in a situation where you will be at-fault or to-blame. Blame is a powerful thing in our world. It is easy to try and push the blame for every bad or unintended thing onto someone else....to "pass the buck." It is significantly more difficult to admit that you have been at fault and accept the blame or consequences that may arise from such a situation.
Whenever you have been wrong or at-fault, one of the first and most important steps to fixing this is to simply say "I'm sorry." No, apologizing is not a panacea that will instantly solve all problems and set things back to rights. Instead, "I'm sorry" is a way to let the people around you know that you accept responsibility for what has happened, that you regret the negative effects, and that you intend to attempt to solve the problem. A genuine and heartfelt "I'm sorry" can sometimes mean the difference between marriage and divorce, saving a friendship and losing one, keeping your job or losing it.
Once you've apologized, worked to correct, and recovered from a bad situation, it is often wise to take steps to avoid future problems of the same kind. Take more time to think over your decisions before implementing them. Seek the advice of a trusted friend, do some research, and make the best choices you can. And when, because you are human, you make a mistake at some other time, be prepared again to admit you were wrong, accept fault, and say genuinely that you are sorry.
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Responsibility Series, January 2012
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