I [Don't] Enjoy Being A [Stereotyped] Girl.

I don't know about any of you, but I grew up watching movies that were musical classics: Singin' in the Rain, Shall We Dance, Holiday Inn, The Sound of Music, White Christmas, The King & I, and Flower Drum Song among them.  While I loved the musicality and exuberance of these movies—and still do—I have, as an adult, begun to see things in these movies that I never noticed as a kid.  Primary among these more recent observations is that these movies, to great extent, seemed to celebrate "girly" women, women who loved dresses and lace and being taken-care-of housewives.

And this one simple observation has caused my first feeling of complete disconnect from these movies.

Of these movies, Flower Drum Song is the most obvious in it's display of these traditional gender roles, highlighting them in all their somewhat-outdated detail in the musical scene shown below.

I got to reading the words to that song a few days ago, and have been unable to stop comparing my real life to the realistically fictional life detailed in the song's lyrics.  As a formerly-married single woman, a single mom, and a woman with a full time job, my life seems to stand in near-complete contrast to these lyrics.  Below, I have listed the song's lyrics and contrasted them line by line.  Enjoy!

The "Girly" Song Lyrics I'm a girl, and by me that's only great! I am proud that my silhouette is curvy, That I walk with a sweet and girlish gait With my hips kind of swivelly and swervy. I adore being dressed in something frilly When my date comes to get me at my place. Out I go with my Joe or John or Billy, Like a filly who is ready for the race! When I have a brand new hairdo With my eyelashes all in curl, I float as the clouds on air do, I enjoy being a girl! When men say I'm cute and funny And my teeth aren't teeth, but pearl, I just lap it up like honey I enjoy being a girl! I flip when a fellow sends me flowers, I drool over dresses made of lace, I talk on the telephone for hours With a pound and a half of cream upon my face! I'm strictly a female female And my future I hope will be In the home of a brave and free male Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl like me. When men say I'm sweet as candy As around in a dance we whirl, It goes to my head like brandy, I enjoy being a girl! When someone with eyes that smolder Says he loves ev'ry silken curl That falls on my iv'ry shoulder, I enjoy being a girl! When I hear the compliment'ry whistle That greets my bikini by the sea, I turn and I glower and I bristle, But I'm happy to know the whistle's meant for me! I'm strictly a female female And my future I hope will be In the home of a brave and free male Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl like me.

My More Realistic Views I'm not a girly-girl, thank goodness. I suppose one might say that I'm "curvy," but I don't usually work to make my size sound pretty. I like me, even though I don't swivel and swerve. I don't even OWN anything that could be called "frilly." I've seldom ever allowed a date to pick me up at my place. And I find the idea of comparing myself to a horse rather disturbing. My last several hair-dos have all been basically alike, and I have a phobia of eyelash curlers. When I look great, though, I don't float. I'm far more likely to radiate confidence. If anyone called me "cute," I think I'd get ill. And all those other sappy compliments just aren't for me. "Funny" can be a nice compliment to receive, though, if it's genuine. I do flip when Jack sends me flowers. It makes me feel pretty special. But I can't stand lace, and last time I spent hours on the phone was high school. And face cream? Yuck! I'm certainly not a manly female. I have high, optimistic hopes for my future. However, none of those plans are dependent upon romance or a "man." I'd laugh if anyone ever got in their head that I was "sweet" as candy. I haven't been dancing in forever. Drinking brandy makes me roast. I'm not so sure I enjoy being a girl. I can't say I've ever had much attraction to any men with smoldering eyes. And though I love my curly hair, personally, the men in my life always seem to rpefer it straight. *sigh* I guarantee if I went anyplace wearing a bikini, there would surely not be anyone whistling! And if anyone whistled at me anyplace else, I'm not really sure if my temper would flare. So, yeah, I'm definitely female, and feminine. But I'm proud to be independent and free of the romantic attempts of a man. I adore all the guys in my life, but I'm much happier just being me.

For the first time, I have a few women in my life who I'd actually consider to be my friends.  This is a new thing for me, having never really been close to other females in the past.  And I hear these girls talking about being excited to get a pedicure and knowing that it would be worse than torture for me.  I hear them gushing about how wonderful their husbands are, and I silently revel in my singleness.  I'm sure I'm not entirely unique in the grand scheme of the world, but I can honestly say I don't know anyone else like me.  So, in my corner of the world, I'm a one-of-a-kind!