Humanity

I, like most people I know, have spent most of my life taking for granted to fact that I am human.  I'm not talking about the fact that I am human as opposed to being canine or feline or bovine, exactly, but rather about the fact that I, as a human person, am capable of having feelings and expressing them and acting upon them.  It had never occurred to me that people -- human beings -- could be put into a situation where their humanity itself is limited or taken away altogether.

Sure, I've seen the news reports of wars and terrorists, murderers and rapists, abusive parents and the isolated instance of clergy or teachers being inappropriate with young people.  But I'm under 30 years old.  There has not been a time in my life when the United States was not at was with some Middle Eastern nation.  There has not been a time in my life where tragedy wasn't a "top story" on every evening's news cast.  I suppose that compromised humanity, like anything else, starts to seem like less of a big deal when it is so common in everyday life.

The past couple of weeks have begun to open my eyes to the reality that has surrounded me, unnoticed, throughout my entire life:

♦ As most of my readers have surely ascertained by now, my son's father is currently in jail, put there by a string of horribly bad choices he made late one night earlier this month. I haven't had much contact with him in a little over a year, even though we've known one another for the better part of 20 years now.  His life decisions led him down a path away from Kaleb and myself, and now they've put him in a terrible situation.  Having stayed in touch with his family during the time I've been apart from him (after all, they are Kaleb's family too), I know that none of them have the resources to bail him out (literally) of where he sits now, and so it is likely he will have to remain there until there is some resolution -- likely through a trial -- of this case.  And, depending on the details of that resolution, he could be there for much, much longer.

He's been there for a little over 2 weeks now, and yesterday was the first time he was able to have family visitors.  Their visitation took place through glass, surrounded by strangers, in an environment where even very basic communication is made exponentially more difficult.  He shared that he hasn't even been outdoors since he was transported to the Escambia County Jail from the Santa Rosa County Jail over 2 weeks ago.  Breakfast is at 4am.  His day is marked by a series of barely-adequate meals and alternating times of lock-down time in a cell and time to walk around the cell block a bit, and punctuated by welcome -- albeit painfully short -- 2- and 3-hour blocks of time when he is able to escape into unconsciousness through sleep.

In an environment where underwear is available only to those who can afford to buy it and a simple bed pillow is available only by requisition (and even then, there might be a wait of several weeks), and where your every movement is dictated by others, how can anyone be expected to feel as if they are still human.  Kept in a box, bathing infrequently and in groups, without even privacy to use the toilet, why are we surprised to hear reports of gangs and violence inside the nation's correctional facilities?  Please understand that I'm not suggesting that the prison systems should be abolished entirely, but with United States recidivism rates averaging 60% among inmates released in 2005 (up from 51.8% of inmates released in 1994), jail is obviously not an effective deterrent for the majority of those convicted of crimes.

It was on my heart all night last night, these thoughts of how one poor decision can lead to another, and how that process can spiral out of control and leave you in a situation that has a swift and drastic effect on your quality of life.  I thought of the hopelessness of those sitting and waiting for judgment, not only in the United States -- where a "speedy" trial is not at all what the name implies it should be -- but also in countries around the globe where people sit and wait indefinitely, not knowing when or if they will ever see a fair trial.

I came to work today, with these things still on my mind, but before the first class period of the day had even gotten half way finished, I was shown something else: that some people have their humanity stolen, without doing anything to deserve even the mildest of punishments.

♦ Some children just do not have the ability to stop talking.  Ok, well, maybe the have the ability.  But they are children, and part of being a child is learning to control your words and actions so that you can act appropriately in varying situations.  Some children learn these skills faster than others.  Early in life, every child begins to develop their own unique personality, and their behaviors continue to evolve over time as they grow older.  When you work in a school and see the same children every day, 5 days a week, from August to May, you start to learn what is "normal" for each child.  And, if you have genuine care for all your students, you also learn quickly how to realize when something is wrong -- when one of those children is acting or speaking in a manner radically different from their normal.

A student in one of my classes, I'll call him Jimmy*, is one of those children who seems incapable of remaining quiet.  He's a generally nice kid, in the 6th grade, but his talkativeness gets him in trouble with some frequency.  Today, he came in quiet, but very quickly became disruptive to the point that the teacher, Mr. Brown*, was unable to continue classroom instruction.  The Mr. Brown took Jimmy out into the hallway to talk to him and see if he could get him to calm down and stay quiet so that class could continue.  Jimmy kept talking back and arguing with the teacher in the hallway.  While they talked, Mr. Brown noticed that Jimmy's arm was bruised and scratched, enough that he decided to ask Jimmy what had happened to his arm.  The moment he asked the question, Jimmy shut down and became unresponsive, with tears welling up in his eyes.  We called for the ESE coordinator, but she was unavailable.  I offered to take him for a little walk around, to see if he would calm down, and to see if I could get him to talk to me.  He walked, but wouldn't talk.  I asked if he wanted to talk to one of the school counselors.  No.  I asked if he wanted to talk to a dean.  No.  I asked if he wanted to talk to the principal.  No again.  I asked if it would help to call home and talk to his parents (he is only a 6th grader, after all).  That one got a BIG no.  That worried me even more.

The only thing I could think was that this kid needed to talk to someone...anyone.  There was something wrong.  I decided to take him to the school's resource officer (SRO).  Our SRO is a really nice guy, and so good with the kids.  There's more to his job than just dealing with kids in trouble, and so I thought maybe a friendly face might get this kid to open up.  When we got there, I quickly filled in the SRO on the events up to that point, and left the student with him.

I may never know what Jimmy and the SRO talked about or what was wrong with Jimmy.  And, really, that's ok.  But in those few moments I walked with him today, I realized that this child may be having his humanity, and his safety, taken away from him by someone at home.  This child was hurting, and there was nothing I could do about it but take him to someone who I hoped could get to the root of the problem.  I don't want to think that this child could be being hurt by someone he knows, potentially someone in his family.  But the reality is that there are children all over the world who are hurting tonight, and who are being hurt tonight.  It's a terrible fact to consider, and even more terrible to realize that there is nearly nothing I can do about it.

♦ But it's not just jail inmates.  It's not just mistreated children.  All around the world, both locally and far away, the word is full of people who are living in sub-human conditions.  There are people who are homeless, living in tents or under overpasses and bridges...some who just live in any hidden or wooded space where they can be out of the sight of people who would run them away for being less-than-desirable.  There are war orphans, AIDS orphans, starving children.  There are people being held as prisoners of war.  There are people living in conditions that are not even as good as the living conditions many of us are lucky enough to be able to provide to our pets!  In so many places, animals are living in better conditions than people.

Where is the humanity in that?  What has become of that fragile humanity?

The answer: It is broken.



[*Student's and teacher's names changed for privacy reasons.]