- Matthew, Part I: Parallel Histories
- Matthew, Part II: The Aftermath of Poor Choices
- Matthew, Part III: A "Dear Matt" Letter
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These last few days have taken my emotions and feelings on a roller-coaster ride of change. When I first began receiving texts and calls from friends who were concerned about me and checking on me, I had no idea what everyone was talking about. At first, I got only a very little bit of information.....just enough to scare me.
Luckily, public information doesn't take too terribly long to update locally, and I soon was every to read every terrible detail contained in the police reports. After reading the "Local News" versions of the story, I was completely and utterly horrified to think that someone I had known so well and for so long could possibly commit acts of the type of which Matt has been accused.
Luckily, public information doesn't take too terribly long to update locally, and I soon was every to read every terrible detail contained in the police reports. After reading the "Local News" versions of the story, I was completely and utterly horrified to think that someone I had known so well and for so long could possibly commit acts of the type of which Matt has been accused.
Over the following day or so, I went through a range of emotions:
Shock at the idea that Matt could be capable of such terrible things,
Fear over wondering if I had been in danger from Matt and hadn't even realized it,
Worry, both for Matt being in jail and for the welfare of the victim and her family,
Anger,
Disappointment,
Confusion,
And mixed emotions in trying to decide how I felt about Matt on a personal level.
I had opportunities to talk with both of Matt's parents, my own parents, and two very empathetic friends. What I now know is that the right thing for me to do is to support Matt and his family in whatever way I am able. Please understand that I am not in the business of defending Matt's actions. But I cannot throw away nearly 20 years of history, most of which has involved a cherished friendship. Matt's deplorable actions these past couple of years, and especially in the past week, do not negate the years of friendship Matt and I shared.
So, last night, I made a definite decision to be supportive to Matt and his family.
I know it is a decision that many of my friends will neither understand nor agree with. And that's ok. We all make our own choices about how to react to situations and people. This is the choice I have made. You may agree with me, or not, as you choose.
When I woke up this morning, I was surprisingly well-rested. I felt as though my heart were lighter, as if my worries and troubles were diminished. I knew, then, that I had made the right decision. I am doing what my beliefs dictate that I should do. I no longer have doubts.
In my heart, I know that I am doing the right thing.
well agree with you... completely... there is no reason why others shouldn't support your decision as well... it is your decision to make and i am sure that at some point in their lives they have made a decision that others may not have agreed with... so i say let he without sin cast the first stone!!
ReplyDeleteLove comes in many forms, and the true, genuine human compassion is one of them. As a Christian, it is my duty to love, even when it doesn't make logical sense....shoot, especially when it doesn't make sense. Love does not condone ill behavior, but love sees the person behind the behavior.
ReplyDeleteWhether you like it or not, you will always have some attachment to Matt...he is the reason your son is here! There is no shame in that.
Kaleb has the potential to have a great deal of difficulty in being a father, himself, as an adult...and adding the gasoline of meanness to the smoldering ashes would not help him in that end. Compassion, forgiveness, and love are the best of teachers. However, forgiveness does not strip consequences. Hurts take time to heal, and restitution needs to be made, in some form, against those harmed by actions.
When confronted with the adulteress, Jesus said "let him without sin cast the first stone". When next he spoke to the woman, he said "where are they? Have they condemned you?" "No". "Then neither do I. Go and leave your life of sin."
The consequences remained even as Mercy stepped in to save her life.
I would not stand in condemnation of Matt. If he is, indeed, guilty of these crimes, he will face judgment in both man's court and God's. He doesn't need me to condemn him on top of the court's judgment.
Your friends, myself included, are so lucky to have a friend like you. True compassion is a hard thing to find in this world.
ReplyDeleteI know we are not what you would call friends but I support you and I support whatever you do to help Matt and his family. I will also try my best to be there for all of you if you need me.
ReplyDelete