While scanning my Facebook News Feed tonight—is it still called a News Feed?—I saw that a friend had posted this:
I read that and knew immediately that I wanted to help. I have learned some tricks over the years for trying to find people online, but they aren't always enough. So, even though it may be a long shot, I'm reposting this plea here on my blog in hopes that someone might see it.
I know that things like this circulate Facebook with some frequency, and most of them turn out to be hoaxes to get us to click links that lead to viruses or get us to donate money to mysterious organizations or people feigning illness. Rest assured, this is no hoax. In the pic above, you see the post was put up by a man named Leslie Taylor. Leslie is an old friend of mine from middle school, and I had a real-time chat with him verifying the validity of this issue. The grandparents who are looking for their granddaughter are a deacon and his wife from Leslie's home church and, according to Leslie, are good and loving people.
I know that things like this circulate Facebook with some frequency, and most of them turn out to be hoaxes to get us to click links that lead to viruses or get us to donate money to mysterious organizations or people feigning illness. Rest assured, this is no hoax. In the pic above, you see the post was put up by a man named Leslie Taylor. Leslie is an old friend of mine from middle school, and I had a real-time chat with him verifying the validity of this issue. The grandparents who are looking for their granddaughter are a deacon and his wife from Leslie's home church and, according to Leslie, are good and loving people.
I'm so glad that my son is lucky enough to have 5 living grandparents and 4 living great-grandparents, as well as lots of extended family and many of my friends who are like family too. I believe that children deserve to grow up surrounded by as many loving relatives as possible, and I hate the thought of these good people and this little girl living separate lives.
So, while I doubt I will get lucky enough to discover that any of my readers happen to be this woman's next door neighbors, I have hopes that perhaps one of you knows of a people-locating resource that I don't know about.
 |
| Janee Allegra Duncan |
► The little girl's name is
Julianna Ester-Hope Duncan.
Julianna Ester-Hope Duncan.
► Today, January 28, 2012,
is the girl's 1st birthday.
is the girl's 1st birthday.
► Her mother's name is
Janee Allegra Duncan.
Janee Allegra Duncan.
► Janee, left, is originally
from Noblesville, Indiana.
from Noblesville, Indiana.
► This little girl has never
met her grandparents.
met her grandparents.
And here is the info I have found so far:
This information may be inaccurate or outdated, but I hope that it will be a start or perhaps lead to more information. I have already passed this information along to the grandparents who are the ones searching.
If you have any means to help these people, please do.
And if you aren't able to help in the information search, please add your prayers/thoughts/energies to the numerous others that are certainly already being sent up for this family.
If you have any information to pass along, you can email it directly to findmygranddaughter@hotmail.com, send a Facebook message to Dale Lloyd Isom, or send me an email (link and address at the bottom of page) or Facebook message and I'll be happy to pass it along. Alternatively, you may list information in the comments section of this post. Any help will be appreciated. Thank you so much.
Feel free to share/re-share this post using this permalink:
http://www.pcolaredhead.com/2012/01/help-reunite-these-people-with-their.html.
And Janee, if you're reading this, you really should consider contacting the Isoms. I believe your little girl would be very lucky to have such loving, devoted grandparents. Not to mention, it sounds as if Julianna has a father who would like to be a part of her life, as well.
Thank you for visiting this page and taking the time to read it.
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Thank you to everyone for all that you are doing to help!
The counter below tracks how many views this post has received.
Thank you to everyone for all that you are doing to help!
I really hope you find her.. I'll do my fair share of searching around, and I'll let you know if I find anything
ReplyDeleteDear Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI have been a close friend of Janee and her family for over ten years. Janee is not missing as these posts seem to indicate. Since making a very tough decision to cancel her 2010 wedding to Daniel, she has been working hard to establish her life as a single mother. Janee is a strong woman who did not take being a single mother lightly. Unfortunate circumstances within her and Daniel's relationship motivated her last minute decision to cancel the wedding. As you know, being a single mom is a serious life situation. Janee takes her role as mother to Julianna very seriously. She is a very present and conciencious mother to her beautiful child. Julianna is bright, beautiful and well cared for and loved. Based on her circumstances with Daniel---Janee has made the best decision she can for Julianna. Janee has not asked for anything from Daniel or his family---only that they allow both her and Daniel to move on. Janee and Daniel are young and will likely meet new spouses and have more children. In the meantime, Janee is happy to love and take care of Julianna as a result of an unexpected pregnancy. Neither Janee or Julianna are in danger or perilous life situation. I expect, as time goes on, there will be a time and place for Daniel and his family to get to know Julianna and to establish their love for her. Right now, they are still strangers to the baby in an unplanned pregnancy. I hope this information is helpful for all, but especially Julianna.
Blessings to you, Sara, Dr. Annette Cargioli
I have yet to see anyone imply that Janee is an unfit or neglectful mother to her child, nor that she is "accidentally" missing. In fact, I have written this post in hopes that she will at least contact a set of good people who have been hurt by this situation simply by never being allowed to have contact with a granddaughter they still love.
DeleteI do, indeed, know that being a single mother is a very tough road—especially in the case of an unplanned pregnancy, as mine was as well—, and one filled with tough decisions. However, I am a single mother because my son's father is an outright deadbeat who has chosen to not support his son. However, I would never agree that the "best" thing for a child would be to keep them from contact with loving family who WANT to be supportive and who pose no threat to the child. In fact, although my son's father is absent from his life, my son has contact with the rest of his paternal family, even though most of them are in Texas and so maintaining the contact takes a great effort from both sides. It is important to all of us that Kaleb be allowed to grow up knowing all of his family who want to know him.
Regardless of how good a mother Janee may be, and I've heard no mention that she isn't (and of course do not know her myself), however I can see no moral or legal justification for actively keeping a child away from her biological father, firstly, and his family, secondly, when that man wants the opportunity to be a good parent.
We are thankful to the Doctor for letting us know that our granddaughter is doing well. What a blessing it is to hear that. Our son has tried everything he knows to do to be the father this child needs. He has spent his time and money to try to reach his daughter. One day, this little girl will know what Daniel has done to find her and she will know that Janee has deprived her of her father. I am not sure how Julianna will react to this, but my heart tells me that it will not be a very positive thing in her relationship with her mother. Daniel has delayed pressing charges against Janee because he does not want Julianna's mother to be a convicted criminal. I have encouraged him to move forward with this to enable the police to help him with his search. The end result of all of this is that Daniel will be an active father to the daughter he loves and has been deprived of.
DeleteWhile Janee might believe that she has made the best choice for Julianna, that is not her decision to make. The courts have ruled in Daniel's favor and he is the legal father of this child and as such has all the rights and responsibilities that go with being a father.
One day this little girl will get to know her father and love him dearly and she will decide many things. Our hope is that Janee will make good choices now that will enable her daughter to make great decisions later.
Again, thank you Doctor for giving us this little piece of joy as we search for our beloved granddaughter. She is an Isom and we want her to know it.
Dale and Michelle Isom
In fact, because I DO allow and maintain contact with my son's paternal family (grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins), I know how deeply they would be hurt if I disallowed their contact or had never allowed it in the first place. I understand the hurt that can be prolonged by maintaining contact with people who were "almost" family after the collapse of a relationship, but I am a mother devoted primarily to my son's best interests, as I imagine Janee is as well. Because I place his interests ahead of my own, I do maintain contact between him and his paternal relatives, because I believe that children are blessed by the love of their family.
ReplyDeleteThe facebook video plea uses phrases that could imply that Janee is an unfit or neglectful mother and that she has wrongfully taken the Isom's granddaughter away. For example: "The Isom's want to find their granddaughter." "Her mother disappeared with her. .". .and we can bring our granddaughter home." "All these people want is to hold their granddaughter and know that she is SAFE and LOVED." If they honestly believed that Janee is a good mother, they would already know that Julianna is safe and loved even before they can hold her. Thank you for your implications that, like you, Janee is a mother devoted primarily to her child's best interests. Personally, I trust the instincts of a good mother for her children. Even though your son's father is an "outright deadbeat", you decided it is in your son's best interest to maintain contact with his paternal relatives. I am sure you made that decision based on all the information you knew about that family. I trust you and that your decision is a good one, for you, your son and his father. I also trust Janee to make the best decisions for her child. Janee is a single mom and so she is in charge of the decisions she must make in the best interest of her child. What I may think is right in a certain situation for my child may differ from what you or Janee may feel is right with your "Mother's instinct" to love and protect your child. I agree and believe that children are blessed by the love of their family. I also believe that love transcends all time and space and understanding. So Julianna is indeed being blessed by the love of the family that loves her present and distant. There is usually enough hurt to go around in the family event of an unwed pregnancy. As for the family involved, I believe the needs of the least should be first, the child's mother, who must serve the child. Even though grandparents may be and are certainly hurt in these circumstances, I believe healing and supporting the expressed needs of the one caring for the child should be the priority. It is amazing to me that you, the "pregnant one" and "single mom" had to put away your own hurt to take care of the hurt you saw in stronger family members. Who was there to take care of your hurt? Janee's expressed needs have been to allow her and Daniel to simply move on so that she can better serve as her child's primary care giver. Like you, she is a good mother and I trust her. Blessings! Dr. Annette Cargioli
DeleteI fail to see how Daniel OR his family are to "move on" when they are unable to love this child in person.
DeleteAside from what might be morally right, there are also laws that govern these things. According to my research, and I am no lawyer, in the state of Indiana, such incidents of custodial interference (which this is, at the very least, as no court has given Janee sole custody nor taken away Daniel's parental rights) are a Class 4 Felony, punishable by heavy fines and/or jail time.
I do not feel bad for Janee's situation of being "the child's mother, who must serve the child" alone, because she has CHOSEN to be alone, against the wishes of her child's own father as well as against the laws that govern her.
I have never HAD to put away my own hurt. In fact, my hurt is lessened by knowing that, even though my son's father does not care for him, that my son is still able to have strong ties to his paternal family (who had no part in his father being a deadbeat). In my opinion, the any reasons I might have had to disallow contact between them and my son would have been reasons borne of my own selfishness, and therefore would have been in the best interests of no one.
If you do indeed believe that "the needs of the least should be first," then it seems to me that you have forgotten a child's need to be loved and mentored by TWO parents and a host of loving family. This "TWO parents" is a need I am unable to fulfill in my own son's life, and I pity Julianna that her mother, from what I can see, is too focused on her own desires to fulfill this need in her daughter's life. Yes, Julianna is too young to know the difference right now. But that won't last long. I cannot describe to you how my heard breaks each time my son watches some other child's daddy come to pick them up at daycare and then later asks me why HE doesn't have a daddy as well. My son only turned 3 last month, and he's been asking for at least 6-7 months now. It won't take long for Julianna to understand this, too, and be curious and sad that she doesn't have the love of her father in her life.
So, while I believe when you say that Janee is caring for Julianna's physical needs and loving her and keeping her safe. I would argue that Julianna's most basic emotional needs (for two loving parents) are not being met, even though the possibility exists for them to be fulfilled completely.
I honestly couldn't agree more with Sarah. Doctor you say that Janee is a good mother who loves her daughter but her actions simply make her look selfish. In the end Julianna will know the truth that her mother kept her from her father and his family and trust me she will hate her mother for it. Janee is doing more harm than good and not to mention breaking the law. How will she be able to be a good mother if she is behind bars? Shame on her for keeping her daughter away from family that wants nothing more than to know and love Julianna.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why I'm the first one pointing this out. Maybe it's because I am a man and the previous replies have mostly come from women.
ReplyDeleteFrom my perspective, though, would there even be a question about what was "right" if the roles were reversed and this child's FATHER was the one who had taken off with her and then simply expected the mother and mother's side of the family to just leave it alone and "move on"??? That's ludicrous, yet it is apparently exactly what this woman is asking of the child's father! If a man took off with his child and severed contact with a mother, without her agreement, he'd have police hunting him down and kicking in his front door in a matter of days, regardless of his suitability as a parent. Yet somehow people in this society are willing to pander and make excuses for a woman who has done exactly that...taken off with a child and willfully hidden the child from her paternal family! I'm disgusted that any woman could be described as loving and protective of one person (her child) while obviously being so cruel and unjust to multitudes of other people.
And as far as this mother being "the least" in this situation, that is the exact opposite of the truth. You are right that there is plenty of hurt to go around in an unplanned/unwed pregnancy, but you forgot to mention that every single bit of that hurt is entirely the fault of the two people who make the decision to engage in activities likely to produce a child! The resulting child and the families of the parents are all blameless in this situation. As the persons at fault, the responsibility of starting the healing process should be placed squarely upon the shoulders of the parents. And by hiding the child from her father and his entire family, Janee has caused an entirely new layer of pain to those people, against which they have no means of combat except the laws of their states.
While I would hate to see any child deprived of the love of her mother, I hope that the law is brought into this situation and that this selfish woman is made to follow the laws. What a travesty it is that an unfair societal double standard has helped her to get away with this irresponsible and illegal behavior for so long!
How very sad it is that this supposed FRIEND of the mom's family knows more about the Julianna than her ACTUAL family members. Her poor father must be worried sick all the time, and that poor baby is growing up without the precious love of her daddy. I'll pray for that baby. She's surely going to need it.
ReplyDeleteI have been praying that this young mother would come to her senses and contact the child's father. The father and his family are strong Christians. I have known the grandfather since he was a teenager. He has grown into one of the finest men I know. He raised his children in the church. I do not know Daniel as well because we moved away. The few times I have seen him at his church, I could see what a fine young man he was. I wll keep praying. The power of prayer is very strong. God bless Julianna, and all her family. Barbara Absher, Independence, Va.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that the Isoms have such kind, supportive friends. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Ms. Absher.
DeleteDr. Carigoli has given some very ill advised information regarding letting a child live without a father, even as a baby. I was a single parent of 3 wonderful daughters. My husband left when the girls were young. I was very angry and did not want them to have any contact with their father. I sought the help of a child psychiatrist (one who really knows the best for all involved in a family). He told me that I had to put aside my feelings, never say unkind things about the father, and allow the children to develop a relationship with him in order for them to have a healthy mental development themselves. I can't imagine a "doctor" suggesting otherwise. Daniel is a man that wants to give to this child. A father who does have the values needed to help with this child's healthy development. Sure, he made a mistake but I for one cannot cast a stone. As a "doctor", you need to look back at the damaging advice you are giving to a very troubled young mother. My prayers are for God's love and peace to be given to all involved, especially the wonderful Isom family. Suzie Bryan Wiles
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your thoughtful input, Ms. Wiles, and I certainly agree that children should not be burdened by the problems of their parents if can be at all avoided. Any child who has 2 safe, loving parents, with the desire to be involved, should have the opportunity to grow up knowing them both and developing relationships with each of them. I, too, hope that Janee will see her way clear very soon to correct the situation.
DeleteAlso, I neglected to mention before that all that is required for one to be able to use the title "Dr." is that the person have a Ph.D. OR an M.D. in SOMETHING. She could have a Ph.D. in Statistics or Physics and identify herself as Dr. Carigoli. In addition, one can be a doctor of alternative medical studies as well, meaning that she could have a Ph.D. or an M.D. and practice some obscure or non-standard type of medicine, herbology, or holistic healing and still legitimately identify herself as Dr. Carigoli. Simply having the title "Dr." does not make one an authority on mental, emotional, or physical health, nor does it make them a reliable source of such information. I do agree, however, that he opinions seem to be highly flawed and contrary to accepted psychological practices.
DeleteJosef Mengele was a doctor too.
DeleteI don't know you, Jack, but I surely do like you. :)
ReplyDeleteWe continue to search for our granddaughter. Anyone with any information about the location of Janee Alegra Duncan please send it to me at daleisom@isomham.com. Thanks for your help in this matter.
ReplyDelete